Registry and Gift Forum

Registering with your FI

My FI actually requested that I ask the ladies on TK this question:

Did you take your FI with you to the store(s) to register?  If not, who did you take?

If you haven't done it yet, will you take your FI?  If not, who are you planning to take?

We both thank you.  

Re: Registering with your FI

  • Yup, FI and I did it together.  He wanted to come.  Afterall the gifts are for both of us! 
  • I took my Fi with me, to both places we registered at. It will be his house and his stuff as well as yours so his opinion matters.I just don't like the idea of excluding the Fi to go with a friend/relative.  FWIW my Fi dreaded going with me at first, but ended up taking over the gun and loving it. He actually found some random things he really wanted.
  • I went with my FI to all the stores we registered at.  At 2 of the stores we went to registry events and almost everyone else there was registering as a couple.  FI had fun and there were definitely a number of categories of gifts that he had strong opinions about.

    My advice is to take your FI with, but don't feel like you have to get everything finished in the store.  We started our registries in the store and quit when we started getting tired and cranky.  Now I've been going back and tweaking our registries online.
  • The first time I took my friend who is a really good cook so she could help with what kind of pots and pans were the best.  The second time, DH came with me and we registered for the rest of the house stuff.  He loved using the scanning gun!
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  • I couldn't imagine not taking him with me and having his input on the items that we want in our home.
    Married 10/2/10
  • I went with my mom the first trip. I only registered for the few things I knew FI wouldn't care about - dinnerware, servingware, flatware... Then, much closer to the wedding, FI and I will go back together to register for everything else.
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: Registering with your FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went with my mom the first trip. I only registered for the few things I knew FI wouldn't care about - dinnerware, servingware, flatware... Then, much closer to the wedding, FI and I will go back together to register for everything else.
    Posted by MsLaura31[/QUOTE]

    But he's using that stuff too - shouldn't he get some say in what they look like? It took my husband and I weeks to find plates that we both liked.
  • He doesn't really want to go.  I find it strange because he also does some of the cooking.  He says that we are able to cook fine now, so what's the point in registering.  Personally, I can think of quite a few things that we do need, and some items that it would be nice to have.  

    He also thinks it would be strange for us to go together.  Some of these wedding things are hard for us because we know very few people who have gotten married and had traditional weddings.  

    P.S.  Of course I'm not planning on registering any time soon.  This just came from a convo FI and I had.  
  • We went last night to just browse around BB&B....he loved it!!  I can't wait til its time to register for real-- definately naking a date night out of it! :)

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  • DH and I did it together but he was sooo bad at it - little to no attention span at all.  Anyway I ended up doing a lot online and then having him approve the items. 

    I would recommend having him be as involved as possible to avoid arguments and remind him that things can be returned!
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  • It's his wedding too, and he has every right to be able to put some things that interest him on it!  I actually got mad at my FI for not including ME in the registry.  He went a little gun crazy at walmart, and wouldn't even ask my opinion on anything.
  • I took my mom. FI could care less about dinnerware patterns, kitchen appliances, and the like. I know enough his taste well enough to stay away from colors and designs that I knew he wouldn't like, and my mom was way more helpful with helping me decide what we'd need to start a home.
  • To set up the registry initially, I went by myself and got a few things that I knew he would want. Then we went and got the rest of the stuff on there that we wanted. I am going to go to the website and see if there is anything on there that we want to add.
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  • He came with me, and it was some of the most fun we had together during the entire planning process. We spent about 5 hours in the Sears housewares department; we had to go get a new gun twice when they ran out of battery power. 
  • tldhtldh member
    FI went.  He was more excited than I was.
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • We did ours online together.  He does a lot of cooking and there were some very specific items he wanted.  Also, we wanted to make sure that things like sheets and towels are something we both liked. 
  • I "pre-shopped" for our registry, just playing around on the BBB website looking at things like dishes and stuff that I thought we would like, and I would show him stuff as I went along to get his opinion and we decided on dishes and flatware and stuff this way.  When we went to register (together) we got to stick some of the stuff on the registry right away, which I wanted to do because FI has a really short attention span and kept telling me he really didn't want to go to the store with me to set it up.

    When we got to the store though, he totally got in to it!!  He added all sorts of stuff to the registry that he wanted that I never would have thought of.  In fact, the one and only time I ever got to touch the scanner gun was today, when I went back to the store while FI was at work to add window treatments.
  • FI and I went to stores together and later we did some online.  I did get assistance from a friend (practical and good at decorating) for other ideas.  The deal was I showed him what we picked and if he had aversion, it'd be removed. I think it's only fair to include him, as it's just as much his stuff as yours.
  • I did 90% of the registry myself and then took I back with me for a second trip.  He picked out a few things that he wanted and then vetoed the "girly" sheets that I picked out.  He only had to be at the store 30 minutes.  That was way better than taking him for th whole thing. 
  • I definitely think he needs to go with you, because while he might not care much about china patterns and crystal stemware, I'm sure there WILL be patterns he hates.  So at least bring him along for veto power.

    Also, you need to go in person so you can see and touch the items you want to put on your registry.  Honestly, I'd never given much thought to towels until I paid attention and, they all feel different!  The ones I thought looked ok online were scratchy in real life.

    And my last piece of advice is to register in small doses.  FI & I actually found it a little overwhelming, especially the first time.  So either make the first registry trip a short one (our 1st time was china, crystal, and flatware), or like a PP said, do some scouting before hand.

    But overall, FI & I had a great time registering, and yours might surprise himself by liking it, too.
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    FI hates to shop, so I'm breaking it down for him into small bits so he won't have to spend much time doing it.   I'll set up the registries doing the stuff he's already said he doesn't care about (most kitchen stuff, since I do all the cooking), then we'll go back together a couple of times to add the stuff he does want a say in (bed and bath linens, a nice coffee maker for him, grilling and outdoor stuff, electronics). Luckily he likes my everyday dinnerware and flatware, so I'll just register for a few more place settings, and I stand to inherit all the china and sterling we'll ever need. 
  • My mom asked if she could go with us when we registered and I said of course (she and FI get along great, too).  I know FI isn't real thrilled about going (his response to most wedding-related questions is "whatever you want honey").  I'm just going to tell him the scanner gun is like a video game controller and he'll be just fine.
  • He came with me to register at Crate & Barrel, but he didn't want to go with me to Macy's. I tried to get him to come, but he wouldn't budge. And after I was done at Macy's, I was glad he didn't go - it would have driven him nuts. I was totally exhausted by the time I was done, and I'm a pretty decisive person. It would have taken forever for us to get through that store if he had been with there, because he's very indecisive and likely would've complained the whole time anyway.
  • I put other because I didnt go to a store at all to register, just did 1 on and FI was not involved in the process.
  • We went together, and it was probably one of the most fun days we've had during our engagement!  He loved using the scanner gun!  I figured that he wouldn't really care about much and just tell me "get whatever you want", but he did have opinions, and it was fun to pick out things for OUR home together.
  • My FI is excited about going! We are on the look out for a china pattern we both like, still. We have awhile before we register (wedding is 17 mo. away) but we enjoy just looking and learning each other's tastes. This will make the actual registering go a lot quicker. He definitely wants to be involved, though!
  • edited August 2010
    Yes. He was the one who wanted to register.

    And I'm sorry, but I went to a registry event and there was a girl who had all of her BMs and her mom there with her. And they were all in my way. I think it's really effing weird to make decisions on home decor for the home you will BOTH live in without each other. Or to trust your mom's judgement more than your FI's. They're his gifts too.

    Although FWIW, Fi's major registry contributions were a "fiesta" chip and dip bowl and a pastry cutter. He helped pick out things like the pattern for our china and stuff, though.
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  • LMAO @ all the grooms having a blast simply cuz they got to use the scanner gun 
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  • Thanks for all the opinions.  I 100% agree that he should go because the items will be his too.  But if he doesn't want to go, I can't really force him, can I?   He says he might go.  I plan on going to the huge Macy's in Manhattan that has it's own restaurant in it.  Hopefully if I make a day of it, he'll be willing to come.  
  • Oh my god...of course he came! He's the cook in the house, so he was in heaven scanning the blender and mixer aisles. Plus he's so picky about certain things...there's no way I would have been able to do it alone!
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