Okay so I am unsure what I should do at this point. I just got married two weeks ago and I'm starting to debate whether it is worth opening a discussion with my sister (MOH) about some things she did that offended me up until the day of the wedding. Here are some scenarios and I'd love to know if you think it's worth discussing or just dropping completely.
- My bach party happened in Wilmington and all of my college friends flew down from CT and Chicago for it. My sister insisted on bringing my 9 month old nephew because she works during the week and didn't want to miss a weekend without him. Her husband said it was rediculous because a bach party is no place for a baby. She did anyway. She then, against my initial wishes, had my mom come to the bach party weekend as well so that my mom could watch my nephew when we went to dinner and dancing. I was not a fan. She ended up being very distant half of the time and would make us all wait around for her for about an hour or two before going to the beach adn again before dinner because she was in her seperate room spending time with him getting him ready. Also because she was so preoccupied with all her responsibilities of motherhood, she ended up dropping the ball on all the things my bridesmaids had originally planned for the weekend for me. They were not happy.
- Three days before my wedding, she calls me in anger that my mom asked her in confidence to pay the balance of my florist because she did not have the funds at the time to pay it (my mom is a very private person who thinks very traditionally and hated the idea that my husband and I were even paying for parts of the wedding to begin with). My parents were and are currently going through a messy seperation so she asked my sister for help. Rather than my sister just paying it for her since she would get reinbursed she calls me three days before the wedding to tell me my mom is in this situation and to complain that she was even asked to do this for me and my mother. Upset that my mom is in this situation and that my sister didn't just take care of it, I got upset and just told her I woudl take care of it. I ended up taking it out of the honeymoon savings we had.
- Earlier in the week, since I had so many out of town bridesmaids, i was putting together an itinerary as to when people were landing and when pedis/manis were happening and the rehearsal and whatnot. My sister said she wanted to get all of that organized and that she would take care of figuring out rides for everyone and for the rehearsal dinner. The friday of the rehearsal dinner, I came to find out that she dropped the ball. My phone was flooding with calls about who was doing what and where they had to go and who would be taking them where. It was a mess and really stressful. After the rehearsal dinner we were heading to the reception hall to set up some DIY projects I had done and she never even offered to help out.
- The day of the wedding we all had hair and make-up appointments to go to. She had promised to come with me to the make-up artist because she does make-up for her friend's weddings in NJ and wanted to see what the artist did so she could touch me up throught the wedding day. Well she calls me at the last minute to cancel on plans because she wanted to spend time with my nephew at the hotel pool. From the time the ceremony started until the time the reception ended, I saw her twice and she was the first to leave the party because my nephew was fussy (although she had her two in-laws with her and they had a car so they could have easily taken him to the hotel since they watch him during the week regularly).
Now you can draw your own conclusions as to what you think about me in regards to this situation, but the reason all of these things are issues for me is because she has always been that time of person who loves weddings and being a part of them. She is always the go-to girl who will be on top of things and make things happen. She fell flat from that. I know that she is a new mother and I cannot even fathom what that experience is like and how difficult it must be to juggle everything on a day to day basis. But i thought for just a few days, she would be able to be there for me and realize how important it would be for me to have my big sister there for me. Of course not everything she did was intertwined with motherhood, but I am just unsure what to do.
We have been super close for most of our lives up until the last six months. So should I say something? Or do I just get over it and chalk it up to new motherhood? Is it worth it to say something now that it's over and when you know nothing will change? ~