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Wedding Etiquette Forum
tiffaniamiller
member
To register or not!?!
My fiance and I are not people just starting out. We are both in our thirties and have established our home together. Basicially, that means we've pretty much got everything we need. On top of that we live in a community were space is tight. It's not like we can store these grand party accesories in our house, nor do we really want any of those things. So my question is if we have everything we need what do we register for or do we not register at all? Is it okay not to register? I've been looking at the major websites where you register and it just gives me a headache trying to thing of what we might want. Too bad we can't just register for our Ski Passes. Please let me know what you think. I've gotten mixed messages from my friends. My fiance's sister did not register and they did well. Thanks!
SteamboatBride
This discussion has been closed.
Re: To register or not!?!
You might get a lot of things you don't want though.
You don't have to register at all if you don't want to, and a lot of people will give you money if you don't, but there are some people who are uncomfortable giving money and really want to give a physical gift. If you don't register, you may end up with stuff you really don't want or like.
we did not register and i dont regret it one bit. we did nto get inundated with vases and frames. in fact, i wish we had gotten a few frames! we got primarily cash and a few very nice gifts that we never would have gotten had we registered. i also did not have a shower - i recommend foregoing that as well if you dont register.
People keep saying we'll get a bunch of stuff we don't like, but even if that's true, that's our problem, not our guests'. We can return, regift, and/or make some kickass Goodwill donations if we receive things that we can't use ourselves. But we'll try to use anything anyone gives to us - we could get "rogue" gifts even if we did register.
That said, it is annoying some people that we are not registered. Some of your guests really want that convenience and may feel a little irked that you're not giving that to them. So, it's a tradeoff, really. But it's not a requirement.
Most people will see that you're not registered for much and will probably give cash. You might get a few stray items here and there that aren't on your registry and that you don't want/need but I doubt that will be the majority of your gifts.
folks always say this, but #1, a gift isnt required. #2, if you want to get me a gift, i'm under no obligation to do the work for you in terms of picking it out, and #3, if its that difficult for you to take the time to find me a gift, then just dont give one. i just dont see why its the potential recipients responsibility to make gift buying easy for people.
some couples/individuals are definitely hard to buy for. but, you dont see registires for birthdays or other gift-giving occasions, and somehow folks figure out what to get. i'm sure many gifts i've given over the years have been recycled, etc. but at least i gave them knowing that i cared and put some effort into getting somethign i really thought they'd like. that's the best you can do, from there, its up to tehm what becomes of it.
Thank-you for all your feedback. I really like what Calypso1977 said about why should we have to do the work to get the gifts. It made me feel more confident about not really registering. Plus, I love surprises and it's aways fun to get a gift that you don't really ask for. Thanks again for the suggestions and support !