Too Early for Save the Dates?

lm3mille · June 2010

Hi Ladies,

I want to purchase Save the Date magnets and send them out, but wondering if its too soon? Wedding is July 30 2011 and we don't have a lot of out of town guests. I just am excited and want to more.. "announce" that we set a date.

Thoughts please?

Jacks21583 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_early-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:8e6e74fc-7673-4430-8b44-d83911f21806Post:f6def2b3-a36c-47c9-8a93-e32fc67e78fc">Too Early for Save the Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Ladies, I want to purchase Save the Date magnets and send them out, but wondering if its too soon? Wedding is July 30 2011 and we don't have a lot of out of town guests. I just am excited and want to more.. "announce" that we set a date. Thoughts please?
Posted by lm3mille[/QUOTE]

I would say that now is WAY too early. You might change your mind on your guest list between now and then, and once you've sent the save the date, there's no turning back on who's invited. Also, I had a friend that sent them out a year early, and then the wedding didn't end up happening...not at all saying that's going to happen to you, but I would advise waiting until at least 9 months before.

kkbrown7023 · June 2010

So 9 months prior is the time to send them? My wedding is in April 2011 and I was going to send mine out end of July??

lm3mille · June 2010

I agree about the guest list, but I also thought I'm not going to order one for every guest/couple/family. We're planning a wedding of 200+ people (ugh....). I was only thinking about ordering 50 or so - send to the "for sure people" on the list.

Julz629 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_early-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:8e6e74fc-7673-4430-8b44-d83911f21806Post:eb88d5ff-1a4d-4123-b7f4-553741882f30">Re: Too Early for Save the Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree about the guest list, but I also thought I'm not going to order one for every guest/couple/family. We're planning a wedding of 200+ people (ugh....). I was only thinking about ordering 50 or so - send to the "for sure people" on the list.
Posted by lm3mille[/QUOTE]

I would still hold off. Especially if these people aren't travelling from out of town. Our wedding is Septmber 25th and we sent our STDs with Christmas cards. Plus, you really want to send STDs or invites at the same time. You don't want people getting them later than others and realizing they are the "B list".

For now, just go ahead and keep planning. You can still tell people the date. But work on finalizing the invite list and send the STDs out 9 months in advance.

boogerbearoriginal · June 2010

I think its waaay too early for STD - a lot could change in the next year from the guest list to the budget to the date itself. Have you secured your venue or just 'picked' a date? What if the place you want isn't available that weekend and you now change the date and have to let all those people know?

Worst case scenario for some reason the wedding doesn't happen, or you don't have a big wedding but perhaps you elope or JOP with only immediate family. Now you're stuck calling all these people explaining things. FWIW we ended up changing our invite list over the course of planning but once you send an STD you have to send an invite.

And ditto Julie that only sending to a few could potentially cause some unnecessary hurt feelings. I guess that your family and friends all talk to each other - Imagine for a minute if you send STDs now to immediate family who then gushes to Aunt so-and-so who didn't get one? Now Auntie thinks she's not invited, or just not 'special' enough for an STD, you look bad, etc, etc.

I say wait until about the 6 month mark when you've got a solid idea not only of the date/invite list, but also other plans. A lot of people will include a website or other info with the STDs so it makes for a good tool to communicate with your guests.

Let your family/friends know the date now by word of mouth - the important people will save the date without a card reminding them.

lm3mille · June 2010

Thanks, all valid points. We have set the date, church, venue everything is booked. Also the chance that the wedding won't happen (what a terrible thought - but you're right, anything is possible), I think that if it were to happen, its going to happen wether its now or in 3 mos from now, can't plan around that is all I guess I'm trying to say.

Thanks again for the thoughts everyone!

boogerbearoriginal · June 2010

Trust the old married hags - even though you're really excited and want to tell the world wait a few months.

Even if everything goes off as planned without a single problem, its better to wait until its closer to the actual date. If for no other reason than people will probably forget about it in the next year because while you and FI will be planning/thinking about it everyone else will be doing their daily thing. The card will get set aside or lost - I mean, people can't even mark it on their calander's yet, kwim?

But come here and gush about all the excitement - that's the beauty of this board we love hearing about wedding plans!

cmkuno · June 2010

You got some great advice already, so I don't have much to add. But one more thing to think about is that at a year out, it's likely people won't be able to even put your date in their calendars, because it's unlikely they even have a 2011 calendar yet. I see you're thinking about magnets, but I can say for myself there's a good chance I'd lose a magnet over the course of a year. I think if you send them around the 6 month mark, people are more likely to actually save the date for your wedding. Does that make sense? Maybe it's just me, but I simply don't plan things that far in advance. I know you're excited, but work on other things for now and hold off on ordering those magnets a bit longer. If you're anxious to tell 50 or so people that you've set a date, there's nothing wrong with just calling them or emailing them.

July032011 · June 2010

My wedding is July 3, 2011. I was told that being mine is a holiday weekend that I should send mine out about a year in advance. You guys think that is a bad idea too?

Julz629 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_early-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:8e6e74fc-7673-4430-8b44-d83911f21806Post:75511c45-e9fb-4fec-8352-474f52d696c8">Re: Too Early for Save the Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is July 3, 2011. I was told that being mine is a holiday weekend that I should send mine out about a year in advance. You guys think that is a bad idea too?
Posted by July032011[/QUOTE]

If its a holiday weekend, send them out more like 9 months rather than 6. Honestly, who already knows what they'll be doing next 4th of July???

Julz629 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_early-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:8e6e74fc-7673-4430-8b44-d83911f21806Post:7e0bd82c-d3bf-459a-8010-a8721e41b733">Re: Too Early for Save the Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, all valid points. We have set the date, church, venue everything is booked. Also the chance that the wedding won't happen (what a terrible thought - but you're right, anything is possible), I think that if it were to happen, its going to happen wether its now or in 3 mos from now, can't plan around that is all I guess I'm trying to say. Thanks again for the thoughts everyone!
Posted by lm3mille[/QUOTE]

I know you've very excited about setting the date, it's a very exciting time. And I know you want to shout it from the rooftops. But everyone here is saying its too early and you really should be holding off a few months.

Personally, if I got an STD for a wedding over a year out, I would be more likely to toss it to the side and forget about it, the same way I react when I get a wedding invite 3 or 4 months in advance. Or the magnet would slowly get covered by other things and forgotten about.

Continue to spread the good news and let people know about the date, but hold off until at least November for those STDs.

aprillm730 · June 2010

My wedding is October 22 of this year, I sent my STD's out at New Years of this year.

spartychic2010 · June 2010

Our entire family is out of town. Both on FI's side and on mine and they're spread all across the country. I sent out our Save the Dates 9 months in advance.

We did a photo card for our STD and on the back I put stickers with the link to our wedding website and made sure that side was facing up in the envelope so that people would see it when they opened them. I was excited to send them out to tell everyone we set our date. But they were really more to help people start thinking about their travel plans, since no one is familiar with Michigan.

On our website, I put tons of information about how we got engaged, our venues, hotels, making travel arrangements, and things to do here. I've been updating it as we firm up our plans. It had fun setting it up and I've gotten so many compliments and thank you's from the out of towners. Most of my guests are coming in a few days early and making a vacation out of it...and as a result I've not had a single person decline yet!

In my case, more notice means that I'm having more guests than we thought, but I'm really honored and flattered that everyone wants to share in our special day.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

mybestfriendsfuturemrs · June 2010

I'm in the same boat as you. I have ordered my Save the Dates and have assembled them. I am getting married in May 2011. All of my family is from OOT (Georgia and Missouri). But I do not plan on mailing mine out until September-October.

8-9 months out is typical if you have a lot of out of town guests. As PP have pointed out unexpected things can come up. In my case, FMIL gave me her guest list but I don't know half the people on there so I don't want to mail STD's out without FI finalizing who to send them to. (We're not going to invite everyone his mother listed)

HTH

coop-a-loop · June 2010

We knew that this was a huge summer for weddings for a lot of our friends and family so we wanted to send our stds out as early as possible. we sent ours about 10 months before our date.

honestly, now i'm wishing we had waited another couple months. there are lots of guest list revisions i would have liked to have made that i can't now because those people got STDs. don't get so overexcited about the fact that the wedding is happening that you can't really objectively look at your guest list.

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