Do I invite the office B****?

chrystine888 · March 2012

I have been working with my company for 3 years. There are only 8 of us, so we all know eachother quite well. The receptionist is an older woman we'll call Claire. Claire tattles on me to the owner every chance she gets (whether it's true or not) for the dumbest things (being 5 minutes late, washing my lunch dishes and leaving food particles in the drain catch, that I "disappear" for hours at a time when my boss is out, etc), and talks crap about me behind my back, and points out every negative thing about me to anyone that will listen. However, she is sweet as pie to my face. I confronted her once, and she said things would be better; and they were for a while, but the grapevine has told me lately that she's out to get me. I don't want to cause a scene with who I'm inviting (everyone else would be invited), but I don't want to invite her and risk her showing up at my wedding. It's a destination wedding, so odds are she wouldn't be there, but if for some reason she came, I would be really annoyed, and it's not just one day, it would be the whole time we were down there, she would be looming over me like a big... bit**y..... dark..... cloud...... Save the dates go out in 2 months...
What would you do?

myname1234 · March 2012

I'd rather deal with her for one day (and truthfully you'll be busy with your other guests and your new husband to really pay her any mind) than dealing with her at work everyday for the long-term haul.

aragx6 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-the-office-b?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:83dfe0c3-0655-49eb-a9b3-30e207a936e5Post:b7b1df8b-ae66-4445-8506-d1d8c91b4538">Re: Do I invite the office B****?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Personally, I wouldn't do any save the dates to co-workers. You never know what work situations will change, even if you think you do.</strong> If nothing has changed when invitations go out, it's a personal choice, but I would invite her if I were inviting the rest of the office. Personally, I'd rather deal with the chance she'll RSVP yes than the drama of inviting 6 co-workers but not her.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

I mightily agree with this.

StephanieM22 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-the-office-b?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83dfe0c3-0655-49eb-a9b3-30e207a936e5Post:b7b1df8b-ae66-4445-8506-d1d8c91b4538">Re: Do I invite the office B****?</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I wouldn't do any save the dates to co-workers. You never know what work situations will change, even if you think you do. If nothing has changed when invitations go out, it's a personal choice, but I would invite her if I were inviting the rest of the office. Personally, I'd rather deal with the chance she'll RSVP yes than the drama of inviting 6 co-workers but not her.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

<div>This. Maybe she wont be working there by the time invitations go out. Also without a save the date to give her the extra time to plan for your wedding she may not be able to save the money or get the time off for a destination wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>Either way I would invite her rather than have her make work miserable for you because she wasn't invited. If she is being a biatch now there is no telling what she will do if not invited. </div>

chickenbut143 · March 2012

I'd bite the bullet and invite her. Really? Can everyone get off work to attend your destination wedding...prob not. At least this way she feels included and might be nice to you.

Good Luck!!

deanozzi · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-the-office-b?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:83dfe0c3-0655-49eb-a9b3-30e207a936e5Post:6524b476-ccf6-4650-8ec8-e94598774d5e">Re: Do I invite the office B****?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd bite the bullet and invite her. Really? <strong>Can everyone get off work to attend your destination wedding...prob not.</strong> At least this way she feels included and might be nice to you. :) Good Luck!!
Posted by chickenbut143[/QUOTE]

Yes, this is very true. They are not going to close down the office for a week for a wedding. LOL. I do not think there is a chance that she will come (or be able to come)

Lisa50 · March 2012

If she were my friend (real friend, not fake/facebook friend), I would invite her. Otherwise, she would not receive an invitation.

TheFutureShulins · March 2012

The previous posters all have good points and they are much bigger people than I am! Personally I wouldn't invite "Claire."

She obviously doesn't like you and she bad-mouths you to your boss. If a co-worker treated me that way there is NO WAY I would invite her to my wedding, no matter how uncomfortable it may get in the office. (I have pretty tough skin and I would be prepared to handle her reaction.)

My opinion: Don't reward her awful behavior towards you. Invite everyone else and have a wonderful day with people that aren't trying to get you fired.

cavsgirl1 · March 2012

Invite her... let her see how happy you are on your wedding day and that not even her miserable attitude can ruin your happiness! In her face !!! The last thing you want is to add fuel to the fire when she finds out (and she will find out) that everyine got an invite except her. Shell probably not show up anyway.

Strv2perfection · March 2012

Don't invite her.

mizutamababy · March 2012

I probably wouldn't invite her to be honest.

Whether you invite her or not she'll probably keep talking shiit behind your back (perhaps only this time about how tacky this and that was at your wedding, for no reason other than to be mean) or worse, spoil your co-worker friends' times if anyone can make it and she also RSVPs yes.

But really it depends on what's easier for you to live with. Since it's a DW it's really doubtful she'll go. I just personally don't like people who start bad office politics so I don't reward that kind of behavior and I also don't really worry much about who's talking shiit since my work speaks otherwise.

chrystine888 · March 2012

All of you ladies are amazing!!!! Thank you so much for your feedback (and the out-loud laughs

I think I know what I'm going to do: I am going to skip sending the "save the dates" to the work people (we all talk about my wedding every day anyway, so no one will need the reminder!) In six-eight months when the actual invitations come out, hopefully things will be different. If not, then I will have to bite the bullet and invite her so that there isn't a big crazy scandal surrounding my wedding. Maybe she'll even be nice to me out of appreciation for the invitation. Probably not, but I'll think positive!

Thanks again, if nothing else, it means so much to have a fourm that is understanding about such situations. Good luck and congratulations to you all!!!

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