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Wedding Reception Forum
katherinewilloughby
member
bridesmaid help...where do i start?
Im the first in all my first to get married. I have 2 bridesmaid and the MOH. They have no idea what responsibilitys they should do, or where they can help out and they dont know if there is anything they can do right now.
Basically my problem is I'm in the beginning stages of planning, they live in 3 different cities so its hard for all of us to get together at once and talk about all the details and such.
How should I give them an idea of whats going on, whats to come, what their responsibilies are and such?
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Re: bridesmaid help...where do i start?
To prompt them about the dress, address each one privately and ask her what she's prepared to spend on a BM dress. When you have a budget, you can start shopping. Send links to them via email and get opinions, and ask them to go to stores in their area and try things on. Many brides with long distance BMs find it easier to just select a color and length, and maybe a fabric or a particular line, and ask each girl to choose her own dress from there.
Other than that, if they want to do anything, they will offer or ask you what they can do.
Since you're OVER a year away, don't even do any of this right now.
Remember, they don't have any responsibilities other than buying the BM dress and showing up on the big day. The rest, while traditionally done by the BMs is not their responsibility. It's part of their traditional gift to you that may or may not happen.
In the meantime, if you have picked the BP already (if not, please don't until you're under a year away), send out a mass email with their contact info if they're OK with that info being shared.
Then, when you're about 6-7 months or so from the wedding, ask them about their dress budget including alterations (do so individually) and then start shopping for dresses in that price range.
In the meantime, relax about about their so-called expectations and remember that they're your friends first. Go to them when you need a break from the wedding planning!
So, they really don't plan on doing anything... and that is perfectly fine by me. I'm only asking that they get their dresses. Even that proves difficult since I can't shop with all of them. For that reason, I've narrowed some styles (I chose David's Bridal simply because there is one near each of them) and then sent them the styles for their opinions. I'm trying to make this easy on them (and their budgets) since my wedding will be a destination wedding for them.
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YOu are worrying way too soon. If you expect them to be excited about your wedding for more than a year, you are in for a rude awakening. If you just got engaged, wait a few months, and you'll feel the lull too. There really is nothing you or your wedding party should be doing at this point, so just enjoy being engaged. You are already making this more stressful than it should be, which is a bad sign for times to come.
The day of, all they're expeced to do is show up and help out when they can. I'm not saying they direct the whole thing, but they can assist you in setting up the reception, helping you get bustled up or just make sure you don't drop your dress in the toilet when you're going to pee.
We got married! Now if we could just remember what happened...
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For help planning, my advice is to stick with who you have closest to you, if they're willing to help. If you want to give the out of town girls something to do, delegate wedding day duties to them, like tipping the ceremony musicians, or let you know when its time to cut the cake, make sure the DJ gets dinner, etc.
Good luck!