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Engaged to early???

kegandkdfkegandkdf member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
I have been in love with my fiancé for 2 1/2 years.... we're together now and plan on getting married... i have my ring and everything but wait... he wants to wait like oh say 3 years out of no where.... i will wait but he still wants me to be thinking and planning thinking it won't stress me out, but all i have felt lately this week is stress because he changes his mind, wants me the one who aspires to be a wedding planner and knows wedding to do it myself... what the heck should i really be dong??? planning? waiting? what??
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Re: Engaged to early???

  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Beats me.
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Are you 17 or 18?
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    you and he can answer this question better than any of us, especially because you both need to be on board with this three year plan.

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  • Mrs.ThistletwatMrs.Thistletwat
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    perhaps you should be working on your communication before you plan a wedding.
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  • kegandkdfkegandkdf member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'm 127, i will be 18 in halloween...
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    At 127 you don't have three years to wait.  Marry him today.
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • kegandkdfkegandkdf member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, no, he and i are not going to do anything til we are married or anything... I know he wants to get situated first and then he wants to get married, i can wait but i mean goodness.... why do i have to sit here waiting for him to do his adventures away for 3 years get a whole new life before we get married? I want to be his and will wait and do what ever i need to, but i mean guys... should i even be thinking about this marriage already? on one hand yes i am engaged and all, but on the other hand, it's 3 whole years.... he and i talk a lot but i don't know i just need help figuring out what to do myself...
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  • SchmoopitaSchmoopita member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't speak whatever language this is written in.
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I think you need to focus on school, and enjoying your life. If after 3 years you both are still wanting to get married, have at it.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I have a big long list of reasons you should wait. It starts with You're 17 and ends with People who can't write a coherent sentence have bigger things to worry about than a wedding.

    Do you want me to write out everything that goes in between?
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_engaged-early?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a486e718-a07d-4df2-8324-260dedb77f69Post:9fdffe84-3e25-4a9f-bd49-404c94bbd176">Re: Engaged to early???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't speak whatever language this is written in.
    Posted by Schmoopita[/QUOTE]

    cosigned
    �
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  • 2010Beachbride2010Beachbride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We will be engaged for about two and a half years. Just enjoy the engagement for now and start planning when it gets closer.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    get pregnant.  that should speed things up (including your eventual divorce).

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  • Sloane99Sloane99 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wait the three years. The odds of you still being together at the ridiculously old, shrivelled up age of 20/21 are slim anyways. If you are, then great, get married, have a party and you, the aspiring wedding planner, can throw it all together.

    "why do i have to sit here waiting for him to do his adventures away for 3 years get a whole new life before we get married?"

    Because that's what people do at this stage of life, you should do the same. 
     
    2 IVFs & 1 FET. Welcome home baby girl!
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  • 2010Beachbride2010Beachbride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh and just to clarify I will be 19 when we get married so we have at least waited a couple years.
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  • Blizzlesgirl!Blizzlesgirl! member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    People under the age of 25 have no business getting married. And this is coming from someone who met their husband in high school.

    He sounds--well, if not smart, let's just say less dumb for wanting to wait.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everything Bliz said except the last sentence. He doesn't sound less dumb. He sounds like a db high school student who gave her a ring in exchange for her v-card and is now hoping things will run their course before they get around to the actual wedding.
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  • 2010Beachbride2010Beachbride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So just because some one under 25 gets married that means their marriage is going to fail? Last time I checked I know several people that got married young and their marriages are still great.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_engaged-early?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a486e718-a07d-4df2-8324-260dedb77f69Post:2ea6fb3a-e816-4f68-9c4a-f201803b7e95">Re: Engaged to early???</a>:
    [QUOTE]So just because some one under 25 gets married that means their marriage is going to fail? Last time I checked I know several people that got married young and their marriages are still great.
    Posted by 2010Beachbride[/QUOTE]

    <div>My anecdata are better than your statistics, so shove it, older, wiser people! </div>
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Let me guess. They're your parents and grandparents.

    Times were a lot different in the 40s and the 70s, and anyone who doesn't realize that doesn't have the critical thinking skills necessary for marriage. Or life, really.
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  • 2010Beachbride2010Beachbride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Both of my sisters got married at 17/18 and have been married for over 10 years. I don't think its changed that much since the 1990's.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    That's nice. But 10 years is hardly a lifetime.
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  • Blizzlesgirl!Blizzlesgirl! member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, that is EXACTLY what I mean. And yeah, your parents/grandparents do not count. Things are more than a little different these days. People are FAR more immature than they were at 17 in your grandparents' time or even your parents' time.
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  • 2010Beachbride2010Beachbride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I love how you all say you are so smart and mature but yet you talk about some of the most disgusing stuff I have ever heard. There is nothing like getting on a public board to see "grown women" talk about burping, pooping and vaginal displacement klassy.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_engaged-early?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a486e718-a07d-4df2-8324-260dedb77f69Post:8812b31c-e810-4d31-b25d-6eb9f7bd4c5b">Re: Engaged to early???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Both of my sisters got married at 17/18 and have been married for over 10 years. I don't think its changed that much since the 1990's.
    Posted by 2010Beachbride[/QUOTE]

    Do you all live on some kind of fundie commune or something?  Who DOES this, let alone three girls from the same family.

    Are they both married to much older men, too? 

    Are all three of you married to the same man?
    �
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  • Blizzlesgirl!Blizzlesgirl! member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Ah yes. The classic deflection defense. Ever so mature.

    Do you realize how many 17 year olds come on here and proceed to sound just as dumb as you do right now? Think about it. You have no life experience AS AN ADULT. Nor do you have any independent life experience. And how about your 26 year old fiance? You don't think it's more than a little creepy he can't find someone his own age? I promise you you are not especially mature compared to everyone else either of you know. Another way: what exactly do you have in common with a seven year old? Yeah.

    Of course this is all pointless, because you will just have a fit over how special you and your relationship are and do what you want anyway. Good luck with that.

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  • 2010Beachbride2010Beachbride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am not 17 I am 19... I said I was 17 when we got engaged and will be 19 when we get married. We are getting married next month so I'm 19. Got it?
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  • LoveBugBabyLoveBugBaby member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you're really only 17 (which I'm assuming "127" meant 17) then you really should not be rushing this!  You are way too young to be worrying about having a wedding right now (yeah, I SAID IT!). I understand some people choose to get married young, but goodness sakes, enjoy your youth for a little while!  You have no idea how much growing up you still have to do, and how much both you and your FI will change in the next few years (and yes, you WILL change whether you believe me or not). At your age, you should be experiencing so much more then planning a wedding. A wedding can wait.  If you and your FI truly love each other, then you WILL get married one day!  I'm turning 27 this year (6 days before our wedding date) and I can't tell you how much I've changed since I was 17.  I'm so glad I lived my life during those years - traveling, hanging out with friends, being a young person! 

    So anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say that your FI is probably right, enjoy your lives while your young, a wedding can wait another 3 years... I promise.
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  • SchmoopitaSchmoopita member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_engaged-early?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a486e718-a07d-4df2-8324-260dedb77f69Post:af1b0c21-6857-4b2e-9f4d-52ce8dc1372e">Re: Engaged to early???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love how you all say you are so smart and mature but yet you talk about some of the most disgusing stuff I have ever heard. There is nothing like getting on a public board to see "grown women" talk about burping, pooping and vaginal displacement klassy.
    Posted by 2010Beachbride[/QUOTE]
    This is like the people who complain about how vile Howard Stern is but can quote every show.
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    You still haven't said anything about school. I'm sure your married at 17 year old sisters would still encourage you to continue your education.
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