Catholic Weddings

No best man?

Not sure what to do...or if there really is anything TO do...

As those who've heard from me on here know, this is my second marriage. We're having a relatively small wedding (60 at most) but happily in my beloved St. Michael's church. I only have one attendant - my best friend is my matron of honor - but my fiance is feeling quite torn.

The man who probably would have been his best man died about a year and a half ago, in a really kind of freak tractor accident. He was the head of the trail association, which is where and how we met, and was a dear (though sometimes infuriating!) friend to us both. Since he died, my FI really hasn't thought of anyone he wants as a best man. He's not close to his brother or his brother-in-law, and he spends so much time traveling either to my home or back home to be with his son that he hasn't had a lot of spare time to make other friends. There is possibly one person in the trail association who is a possibility, but we haven't been to an event in over a year, and he really doesn't to have just anybody as his best man, which I totally understand.

His son is 15 and we've talked about him as a possibility, but my FI is adament about not having him feel like he's in the middle, or that he's somehow choosing me over his mother...it's hard to describe FI's reasoning, but it does make sense and I do respect his thoughts and feelings, and I want him to be happy at the wedding.

At this point, he's basically decided not to have a best man. I know we have to have two witnesses, so I'm just not sure what to do...

Your understanding and advice would be greatly appreciated!

Linda
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Re: No best man?

  • edited December 2011
    You can have anyone be a witness. They do not have to be the best man or have any title at all. Even if his son was the best man, I think he may be too young to sign the certicicate as he would still be a minor.
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Anyone can be your two witnesses.  None of our BMs or MOHs were Catholic, so we opted to have a groomsman and bridesmaid act as witnesses instead.  You could probably have a non-WP guest sign the certificate too.
  • edited December 2011
    We did even need anyone to witness the marriage. The priest and Deacon were the witnesses for the church. I don't remember anyone signing the marriage certificate except for the priest.
  • catarntinacatarntina member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:611ef250-4525-45e8-812a-1ddac5198222Post:1a9e454e-bf57-4e33-b335-4751a9d9d1f6">Re: No best man?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did even need anyone to witness the marriage. The priest and Deacon were the witnesses for the church. I don't remember anyone signing the marriage certificate except for the priest.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    Nope, not in Ohio.  Witnesses don't need to sign the marriage certificate.

    In the Archdiocese of Denver, however, the deacon doing my paperwork told me I needed to have at least 1 Catholic witness.  It was a moot point though, because I got married in Ohio where witnesses aren't required.
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  • edited December 2011
    My sister got married in a catholic church to a catholic(Im catholic also) and I had to sign the marriage certificate. It was maybe 6 years ago, but im pretty sure the best man signed it as well. I live in ohio, so why would I have to sign it? (I didnt want to, but that is another story)
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    the signing of the marriage certificate varies state to state.  here in MA, witnesses arent required.  however, our MOH and BM did have to sign the church register as witnesses to the marriage.  the church requires witnesses, whether the state does is another story.

    OP, convey that you will only have a MOH, and ask your priest how you should handle having the second person sign.
  • MopsieBMopsieB member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're not having attendants but we need two witnesses. Your fiance should select someone close to him, preferably (although not necessarily) Catholic and call him a witness.
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