Is there some type of attendant gift "etiquette" established in regards to how much you "should" spend on your attendants? I've been searching around for gift ideas for my bridesmaids and noticed that there is a huge price range. A friend was recently in a wedding and she said the bride pretty much matched the cost that she had spent on her bridesmaid dress. Is that normal?
Re: Gifts for Attendants: how much is too much/little?
Generally wedding related memorabilia is not really useful to anyone. A bottle of wine, however, is useful to most ladies I know.
Do what you can and are comfortable doing and try to shop for each girl like it's her birthday rather than thinking "weddingy type stuff." If you're not shopping, give a gift from the heart - a heartfelt letter of thanks and what your friendship has meant over the years; maybe a simple photoframe with 2 images - one of you from when you first became friends and one at present day...you can give a nice gift to your attendants at any budget - what's key is being thoughtful about it and doing something that comes from the heart.
And yeah, at the end of the day, a bottle of wine would be way more awesome to me than a totebag with "Bridesmaid!" on it. ;-)
Its not so much on how much you spend more than making it personal to each attendant.
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Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
I would try to keep it even between them (don't spend $20 on one and $125 on another) and try to match the formality and cost of your wedding. For example, if I got a $15 trinket and the wedding was costing $60,000, I'd give it the side-eye.
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If your friends are getting hotels, spending a lot of hair, makeup, shoes and if they're just awesome in what they've given and done, a $20 item would just seem cheap.
However that isn't to say that you can't do other items that are inexpensive - just keep in mind that these are gifts you're giving to your friends in a way to honor them.
I was blasted for this before, but I'm planning on about $30-$35. M y friends and I also limit Christmas gifts to $25. We’re also hoping we can pay for their hotel rooms, I’m not asking them to get their hair done, and I’m going to choose reasonably priced dresses.
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Agree with PPs...whatever you'd normally spend on a birthday gift sounds like a good guideline to me. And I think in your heart you know (and your friends will know) whether you're spending the "right" amount for you based on your budget and general economic situation.
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I have been a bridesmaid in two weddings -- one was for my best friend from high school, and one was for my brother and his wife -- and I cherish the memories and the honor of being a part of it more than the gifts they gave me (both of which were very nice jewelry). Maybe this sounds corny and I am just overly sentimental about weddings but I was truely touched to be standing up for them and sharing in their big day!
As a bridesmaid I think a good gift for me would be a sentimental one like a homemade CD of songs that mean a lot to us or a homemade photo album etc. And in my opinion if a bridesmaid thinks that such a heartfelt gift is "cheap" then I would wonder how much she valued the friendship. (I do agree with the person who said that if someone is throwing a lavish expensive wedding, a nominal gift could come across as "cheap"... especially IMO if it is some kind of run of the mill BM gift and not something handmade from the heart).
On the other hand a good friend asked me to be an "honorary bridesmaid" in her wedding and said that I would have been a bridesmaid but for a bunch of seemingly superficial reasons -- mainly, the "number" of attendants she had in mind, having an even number of bridesmaids with her husband's groomsmen, other people who would have been hurt if she included me and not them, other people she had to include before me, and, ta da, the expense of having more bridesmaids. That last excuse really hurt me to the core because it made me feel like there was a monetary value to our (very close) friendship. I would honestly have rather been her bridesmaid and received no gift than to have been told that. So perhaps that experience has influenced how I view being a bridesmaid, as a gift unto itself and as a statement of friendship.
Now that I'm a bride to be, what I go on is my own feelings from past experience. We are funding most of our own wedding and have a medium-sized budget (it was supposed to be small but it keeps expanding)! While I feel that I have a "tight" budget, I also realize that I have"stretched" it for things that were important to me, like my dress ,
I say all of this to suggest just searching your own experiences and feelings and budget to see what you can afford or what you should get each girl, and as long as it is a thoughtful gift, I am sure she will appreciate it. Good luck!