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emolloy2003 · February 2010

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bablingbrooke · February 2010

I'd start out by being a little bit selfish and a little less "me me me." They aren't required to be on the pill through your whole engagement. They aren't required to throw you a party of any kind. And to try to "ralley" (it's spelled rally, btw) will only make them want to do things for you less.

emilykathleen511 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-attendants-everywhere-bachelorette-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f5cf0b-9fe0-4d75-80b3-0c8bbb8c6f43Post:b8933d40-0192-4c5e-9eb4-348cbd5d3bff">Pregnant Attendants are Everywhere! Bachelorette Party Advice!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I just found out that both my Maid of Honor and one my Bridesmaid are planning to be 7 months pregnant at my wedding and around the time we had talked about having my bachelorette party. There are only 4 girls in my wedding party and 1 of them lives at a distance and probably won't be around to attend. No one seems all that excited about planning or attending a bachelorette party. Not to mention my dreams of a last girls night out on the town, don't seem all that fun anymore if I'm going to be the only one out on the dance floor. Even a girly sleepover doesn't seem feasible since I can't expect pregnant people to sleep on the floor or an air matress. Does anyone have any ideas I could give to ralley them? I'm happy so happy for them, but I'm a little disappointed. Maybe we should just skip the tradition? Help? Any help would be appreciated!
Posted by emolloy2003[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Leave it up to them. If they decide to throw you a bachelorette party (which they don't have to do...it is a gift for the bride, and you should have no part in it), then they will take care of all the planning, including the events for that evening. Be appreciative of WHATEVER they plan, if they do plan something, and if they don't plan anything, just be happy that they will be standing by your side on your wedding day.

</div>

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

It's fine to be disappointed, but life happens. The bachelorette party is something that's thrown for you, not something you have any say in, so if it doesn't happen or if they want to do something lower-key, that's the way it works.

Wait for them to bring up the bachelorette party, then figure something out from there. It's deeply, wholly, and entirely inappropriate for you to be the one to bring it up.

bablingbrooke · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-attendants-everywhere-bachelorette-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f5cf0b-9fe0-4d75-80b3-0c8bbb8c6f43Post:5056df06-c577-4208-a98e-11b90c20f9a7">Re: Pregnant Attendants are Everywhere! Bachelorette Party Advice!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, Thanks for your advice. It was pretty mean and not helpful at all and you are kind of jerk. I'm not saying I don't want them to be pregant. I'm thrilled that they are pregnant. One of them is a new addition to my family. That being said, they've asked me for ideas of what I want to do and I'm trying to make things easier for them. Not to mention, I kind of want a bachelorette party. It's a tradition I've enjoyed being a part of for others, including planning 4 total for the two married members of my wedding party. So I don't think it's selfish of me to want to have one myself.
Posted by emolloy2003[/QUOTE]

<div>Boy did you prove me wrong. You're totally nice and mature (rolls eyes).</div>

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

Wow, that's got to be a record.

emilykathleen511 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-attendants-everywhere-bachelorette-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f5cf0b-9fe0-4d75-80b3-0c8bbb8c6f43Post:5056df06-c577-4208-a98e-11b90c20f9a7">Re: Pregnant Attendants are Everywhere! Bachelorette Party Advice!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, Thanks for your advice. It was pretty mean and not helpful at all and you are kind of jerk. I'm not saying I don't want them to be pregant. I'm thrilled that they are pregnant. One of them is a new addition to my family. That being said, they've asked me for ideas of what I want to do and I'm trying to make things easier for them. Not to mention, I kind of want a bachelorette party. It's a tradition I've enjoyed being a part of for others, including planning 4 total for the two married members of my wedding party. So I don't think it's selfish of me to want to have one myself.
Posted by emolloy2003[/QUOTE]

<div>Au contraire, it is kinda being jerky to ask someone for advice, then call them a jerk when they give it to you.</div><div>
</div><div>You can want a bachelorette party all you want. Yes, it is a tradition, but NO it is not a requirement. It is a GIFT for the bride from whoever would like to host it. If no one wants to host one, then NO you do not get one. It doesn't meant that people don't care about you, it could mean that they couldn't afford it, that they didn't have time, or that they just don't like planning parties. It doesn't matter how many you planned for other people. You did that because you CARED about the bride, could afford the time and money, and wanted her to have a great party, not because you wanted one yourself, right?</div><div>
</div><div>If someone DOES offer to host it, leave it up to them to come up with the plan. This way they will plan what they can handle. It is YOUR job to be appreciative and thankful for whatever party they plan for you.</div>

emolloy2003 · February 2010

Hi. I was actually looking for more concrete, creative ideas on how to have a bachelorette party that would be fun for everyone. Also, my bridal party asked me what I want to do, I think I'm being thoughtful by trying to come up with ideas that would be comfortable for everyone that would be in attendance.

Regardless, I've deleted my post. Please don't bother to respond.

I hope you all have great bachelorette parties and weddings.

emilyinchile · February 2010

OP, grow up.

Dinner out, a spa day, a girly sleepover at a hotel where you all have beds (if it's financially feasible), even just a get-together at someone's house with fun food and cocktails/mocktails and traditional silly games...all of that would be really fun to do with your friends if they decide they're up for hosting you a shower. And I see no reason you can't go out drinking and dancing with your other friends without calling it a bachelorette party.

emilykathleen511 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-attendants-everywhere-bachelorette-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f5cf0b-9fe0-4d75-80b3-0c8bbb8c6f43Post:348bb586-fb6d-4bf8-9e59-277bfc691cab">Re: deleted</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi. I was actually looking for more concrete, creative ideas on how to have a bachelorette party that would be fun for everyone. Also, my bridal party asked me what I want to do, I think I'm being thoughtful by trying to come up with ideas that would be comfortable for everyone that would be in attendance. Regardless, I've deleted my post. Please don't bother to respond. I hope you all have great bachelorette parties and weddings.
Posted by emolloy2003[/QUOTE]

<div>VERSUS:</div><div>
</div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">[QUOTE]No one seems all that excited about planning or attending a bachelorette party.[/QUOTE]</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">
</span></div><div><font face="Arial" size="3" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">These two statements do not seem to jive completely. I have a feeling YOU have been the one pressuring these ladies into planning a bachelorette party. Either way, just leave it to them. They will plan what they can handle. Leave yourself out of it.</span></font></div>

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

Presuming they did ask for your input (which would have been valuable information in the OP), then emilyinchile gave some great suggestions. But beyond a couple of basic suggestions if they ask, you really, really need to stay out of it. I'm sure that they know there may be pregnant women in attendance, and can plan accordingly.

emolloy2003 · February 2010

Hi. I'm not pressuring anyone into throwing me a party. I was asked for ideas because my bridesmaids aren't close and don't know each other well.

Other people on these message boards post about demoting or firing their bridesmaids for becoming pregnant. I love that my MOH and bridesmaid are pregnant. That being said, all I was asking for were fun, creative ideas because the ideas that they've been tossing around and the ones I've suggested are not getting any of them that excited. I'm fine with whatever we do and even told them not to bother planning anything for me because they've got so much going on, but they want to do something anyways.

I appreciate all of the help. Except for the advice from BB which I think was kind of mean. I deleted the post. have a good day!

Thanks.

bablingbrooke · February 2010

That's me: big meanie. I don't know why anyone listens to me.

saisongbird · February 2010

OP, we know you're here. No need to start every post with "Hi." It makes you sound as though you're five years old and learning to answer the phone.

tidetravel · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-attendants-everywhere-bachelorette-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f5cf0b-9fe0-4d75-80b3-0c8bbb8c6f43Post:b0292167-2b69-4ba1-9e94-58bf3db0932e">Re: deleted</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi. I'm not pressuring anyone into throwing me a party. I was asked for ideas because my bridesmaids aren't close and don't know each other well. Other people on these message boards post about demoting or firing their bridesmaids for becoming pregnant. I love that my MOH and bridesmaid are pregnant. That being said, all I was asking for were fun, creative ideas because the ideas that they've been tossing around and the ones I've suggested are not getting any of them that excited. I'm fine with whatever we do and even told them not to bother planning anything for me because they've got so much going on, but they want to do something anyways. I appreciate all of the help. Except for the advice from BB which I think was kind of mean. I deleted the post. have a good day! Thanks.
Posted by emolloy2003[/QUOTE]

HI.
No you were not asking for fun, creative ideas for your parties. In your OP, you were whining because your BMs will be pregnant and now you won't be able to have the bar-hopping, man-leg humping, get sloshed, B-party of your dreams. Now, you are backtracking and saying that you just want alternate ideas for your B-party.

Had you simply said, "Hey, my BMs will be very far along in their pregnancy for my parties. They are asking me what I want to do. I would have really liked a traditional B-party, however, I understand that they won't be up for the late night, bar-hopping experience. Any other suggestions for a fun day?"

That would have gotten you much different responses than your "Woe is me" post.

bablingbrooke · February 2010

WB tide!

stina93446 · February 2010

Tide hit it right on the nose. You are trying to backtrack and calling regulars babies and rude is not going to get you anywhere.

tidetravel · February 2010

Thanks BB! I'm back to work now (boo), but that means that I have more time to knot (yay!)

bablingbrooke · February 2010

Trading in the baby for beebees eh?

duckie1905 · February 2010

hahahahah, most entertaining, saddest, and selfish post I've seen in a while

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