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Two maids of honor

kaploetzkaploetz
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I've decided to ask my two best friends to both be maid of honor, but my question is not whether or not that's okay, I don't mind the break in tradition. Rather, I would like your opinion on how to ask them. I've got nice personalized gifts for both and intend on asking them in person.but what do I say? Would you be my co-maid of honor? Would you be one of two maids of honor? What I don't want is to ask and then try to casually drop in that she's going to be one of two. And I certainly don't want either to think they're my second choice because I love them both equally.

Any thoughts would be greatly apprecited!

Thanks!
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Re: Two maids of honor

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-maids-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85673fb9-c9e0-4140-bd0d-fb0f309ed0d9Post:a5dcc702-bdbb-448f-b384-f780e6e3a34b">Two maids of honor</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've decided to ask my two best friends to both be maid of honor, but my question is not whether or not that's okay, I don't mind the break in tradition. Rather, I would like your opinion on how to ask them. I've got nice personalized gifts for both and intend on asking them in person.but what do I say? Would you be my co-maid of honor? Would you be one of two maids of honor? What I don't want is to ask and then try to casually drop in that she's going to be one of two. And I certainly don't want either to think they're my second choice because I love them both equally. Any thoughts would be greatly apprecited! Thanks!
    Posted by kaploetz[/QUOTE]

    <div>You're overthinking it.  You could say co-maid of honor,  or just tell them after you ask them.  It's really not a big deal.</div><div>
    </div><div>Is one married and one single?  If so they could be maid (single) and matron (married).</div>
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Hmm when BFF asked me she didn't tell me her sister would also be MOH. I found out later. Though I suppose you could say something like " I'd like you to be be moh, along with blah blah"

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  • kaploetzkaploetz
    First Comment
    Entirely possible that I'm over thinking it - I tend to do that. Both are single. Did you mind finding out later that you were co?
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I didn't mind finding out. I was a little surprised but meh.

    DN- love your sig!

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  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    There's no reason why you can't have 2 MOHs, but I would tell them both up front.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Haha thanks Roxy!
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  • daftmagpiedaftmagpie
    100 Comments
    Are all three of you a close group? Could you go out somewhere fun and ask them both at the same time. Something like Jane and Joan you're my best friends would you be my maid of honors?
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  • kaploetzkaploetz
    First Comment
    They know and like one another, but are from different parts of my life- we three aren't the 3 best friends. And we are pretty much as far as we can from each other: california, texas and louisianna. Also, do I ask first and when (if) they say yes then give the present, or present first then ask?
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  • llinds7277llinds7277 member
    10 Comments
    i am one of two maids of honor. my best friend wrote me a card asking me to be her moh and of course i said yes. she then immediately told me she would be asking her other friend as well. because i know her so well and her relationship to the other friend i was totally cool with itSmile
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  • kaploetzkaploetz
    First Comment
    llinds: thanks, that's great to know, and precisely the relationship between my two friends.
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  • llinds7277llinds7277 member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-maids-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85673fb9-c9e0-4140-bd0d-fb0f309ed0d9Post:214201f0-24e4-4289-bdae-4f4e3d63f63c">Re: Two maids of honor</a>:
    [QUOTE]llinds: thanks, that's great to know, and precisely the relationship between my two friends.
    Posted by kaploetz[/QUOTE]

    You're very welcome!  See my bff has been friends with this other girl since like preschool, and they haven't been as close lately, but still it's a long-standing meaningful relationship.  Meanwhile her and I have been friends since middle school, but have stayed close ever since.  So I totally see why she wouldn't want to choose between us.  Hopefully both of your friends will understand as well, and also recognize that it's about you and what you want in the end! :)  Good luck!
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