Pot-Smoking Moms

chelseamb11 · July 2012

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/16/12752632-pot-smoking-moms-tired-of-being-judged-by-wine-drinkers?lite

This article talks about moms who regularly light up to relax at the end of the day or to be able to more easily function in chaotic evenings after even more chaotic days. The moms defend it saying they are doing no harm to their kids and it's better than coming home and drinking a few glasses of wine that will get you drunk.

WDYT? Is it acceptable for parents to be under the influence of pot (or anything else.. alcohol included) as long as it doesn't affect their kids? Is it even possible to be under the influence without it affecting kids? Does it make a difference that one is legal and the other illegal?

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

Heh. There was a thread about this today on The Bump.

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67335236.aspx

EDIT Oooh... here's a follow up: http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67342327.aspx

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

I think it depends. Smoking an enormous amount of pot every day and zoning out while watching hours upon hours of QVC isn't the same as taking a small hit or two to wind down. Same can be said for alcohol - one bottle =/= one glass.

Moderation.

With that said, there was a hell of a lot of pot smoking going on in my family back in the day - like when my mom was in school. The first time my grandparents smoked it, they waited for my mom to come home from school so she could do it with them. She was 12 at the time. That kind of stuff? Not cool to me.

dmiller9274 · July 2012

The difference for me is that pot is illegal and wine isn't. So pretty much if you think teaching your children that breaking the law is a-ok because it helps you relax, you're kind of doing it wrong.

Simply Fated · July 2012

The argument that alcohol kills or harms more people than pot makes me think that, logically, alcohol should be illegal. I mean, if THAT many people are getting into car accidents because of it...

Anyway, the mother in the article is pretty hypocritical.

“Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s---,” complains Margaret. “Any hypocrisy is hard to swallow. A drunk mother is pathetic and I often leave parties when I experience other mothers tying one on.”

One or two glasses of wine is hardly two bottles of Chardonnay. Just like she doesn't want to be labeled a pothead, she probably shouldn't start calling other people drunks. She judges other women for getting drunk... and in the same breath says she is tired of being judged? Wtf?

Also, pot is hardly organic. If it's off the streets, it's rarely pure.

And, the biggest reason why this annoys me... A mother having a glass of wine doesn't immediately affect the kids. Second hand pot smoke does. And it smells awful, to boot.

KateJ10 · July 2012

I am too lazy to figure out where it is criminalized/decriminalized, but with this particular situation that would really be my only concern:the legalities. I don't think it is much different than a drink or two in terms of effects a lot of the time and wish it wasn't made into such a big deal.

anna.oskar · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:748e3e5f-cc87-4ff1-a929-8ee940f4d753">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]The difference for me is that pot is illegal and wine isn't. So pretty much if you think teaching your children that breaking the law is a-ok because it helps you relax, you're kind of doing it wrong.
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly this.</div><div>
</div><div>Illegal is illegal. Wine drinkers are not taking part in an illegal activity (generally).</div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Simply, I read in the article that the mother doesn't smoke around the children. So "second hand pot smoke" isn't really going to do them any harm.

My mom smokes cigarettes and never, ever did it around us. She did it in the attic or out in the backyard.

chelseamb11 · July 2012

Even if you go outside to smoke it, I feel like you will still smell like it a little bit. Eventually your kid is going to catch you smoking it. Even if you go outside, eventually they will follow you outside to see what you're doing.

I do agree about the moderation thing with any substance use, but I find it really odd that parents NEED to smoke pot in order to function in a day.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Well I find it odd, then, that a parent would NEED to drink alcohol in order to function. You shouldn't NEED these substances. I don't much care what people do to relax, but if you NEED something, then you're chemically dependant and you have a whole 'nother set of problems.

LetsHikeToday · July 2012

Pot has never been a big deal to me but because it is illegal, I won't ever do it as a mom (and haven't done it for years anyway).

The fact that it is illegal definitely changes the situation for me. It's against the law, whether or not you agree with it.

Also, I wouldn't get shhit done if I was a stoned mom. I'd just sit down, laugh, and eat lots of food.

Simply Fated · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:66da8f40-71cc-41af-8225-5b302754b47a">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]Simply, I read in the article that the mother doesn't smoke around the children. So "second hand pot smoke" isn't really going to do them any harm. My mom smokes cigarettes and never, ever did it around us. She did it in the attic or out in the backyard.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
My mom smoked cigarettes in the basement while doing the laundry. I begged and begged my mom to stop and go outside because the smell was so gross. A teacher in middle school actually called me up to her desk after class and asked if I smoked. I was a dorky quiet little mousey girl, goody-two shoes that never broke a rule a day in her life... and I had to beg a teacher to believe me that I wasn't smoking. It still didn't get my mom to stop smoking in the basement.
So, while this mom says she doesn't do it in front of her kids, she doesn't represent all the mothers and, seriously, the smell usually lingers. On the fingers, on the clothes, in the hair. Every single hug, the smell was there.
Our experiences were different. Your experience shaped your view. My experience shaped my view. That's all.

brandichamberlain · July 2012

My Mother and previous Step Father grew and smoked marijuana when I was a kid. I never saw them do it, but I could sometimes smell it on them. When I was in HS, they would sometimes sell it to the kids that wanted it. No, it's not even remotely appropriate for parents to do that. On the up side, I have never tried it because I am so desperate to be different from my Mom so maybe it worked out for me?

entropicbeauty · July 2012

I think the only thing that would concern me about this is the fact that if the mother gets caught she could get thrown in jail for the pot use, and that wouldn't really do her child/children much good.

Beyond that...I could give less a crap if a parent decides to smoke. They're adults and it is their decision....but then, I'm in the school of thought where it should be legalized and taxed.

rsanna · July 2012

I don't see a big deal with it and I honestly don't really see why pot should be illegal. But my mom also told me flat out several months ago that she was smoking pot. My mom has health issues, and not that that excuses anything, but it does make her life more stressful at times and she was really really down for awhile. I don't know if she still does it or not, but honestly I don't really care whether she does or not. All of her children are grown and she can make her own decisions.

I would probably side-eye my sister (or BIL) who has a baby and 2 young step-kids if she does, just because they are younger and more susceptible to things in general. Heck, I side-eyed both of them when I was house-sitting for them and found some stuff and that was before they got full custody of the kids.

jujub423 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:9bc69ea9-fe29-4d46-a431-f6fa4e0eed44">Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/16/12752632-pot-smoking-moms-tired-of-being-judged-by-wine-drinkers?lite" rel="nofollow">http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/16/12752632-pot-smoking-moms-tired-of-being-judged-by-wine-drinkers?lite</a> This article talks about moms who regularly light up to relax at the end of the day or to be able to more easily function in chaotic evenings after even more chaotic days. The moms defend it saying they are doing no harm to their kids and it's better than coming home and drinking a few glasses of wine that will get you drunk. <strong>WDYT? Is it acceptable for parents to be under the influence of pot (or anything else.. alcohol included) as long as it doesn't affect their kids? Is it even possible to be under the influence without it affecting kids? Does it make a difference that one is legal and the other illegal?
</strong>Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

As other PP's have said, the key is moderation. H's parents smoked pot while he was growing up (his mom still does, she actually has her medical license due to Crohns). My dad has smoked pot my whole life too. I never knew my dad smoked until a few years ago, he was pretty good at keeping it under wraps I guess. H found out when he was 13, his parents had a party and before he left to his grandma's house, he saw 2 pans of brownie's on the table- one had a frosting smiley face and one had a sad face. He asked his uncle and he told him. We aren't losers, we have good jobs, pay our bills, no felonies, etc. Our parents were able to raise us well and keep their recreational activities out of the picture- but that's not to say all parents can.

I really think it all comes down to how the children are raised, regardless of what their parents do on their spare time. I dated a guy for years whose mother and father were crack addicts. I had no idea whatsoever until I walked in on his dad in the bathroom and he was smoking rocks (I didn't know what it was until the BF told me). And I never would have suspected if it wasn't for that- they both had great jobs, went to church, even had "family nights".

So yeah, if the parents are getting carried away to the point where they are spending more time drinking/smoking pot than spending time with their families, that's a problem. A few tokes/glasses of wine, in my opinion, are likely pretty harmless.

jujub423 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:0800fb5a-20a6-4bde-9c7c-febfe5026b49">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pot-Smoking Moms : My mom smoked cigarettes in the basement while doing the laundry. I begged and begged my mom to stop and go outside because the smell was so gross. A teacher in middle school actually called me up to her desk after class and asked if I smoked. I was a dorky quiet little mousey girl, goody-two shoes that never broke a rule a day in her life... and I had to beg a teacher to believe me that I wasn't smoking. It still didn't get my mom to stop smoking in the basement. So, while this mom says she doesn't do it in front of her kids, she doesn't represent all the mothers and, seriously, the smell usually lingers. On the fingers, on the clothes, in the hair. Every single hug, the smell was there. Our experiences were different. Your experience shaped your view. My experience shaped my view. That's all.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Simply, I totally understand where you are coming from. My mom never stopped smoking when she was pregnant with me and my sisters ( I guess it was "normal" back then?), and continued to smoke until I was in 6th grade. I went to 6th grade camp and I wore one of my mom's sweaters. I was teased mercilessly by the other kids because I smelled like smoke- they thought I did, and told everyone to stay away from me because I was a loser. I went home bawling to my mom, and she did end up quitting but it took her awhile. She would smoke in the house too and I hated it- how it smelled, the staining on the wallpaper, etc. She quit when we moved to their new house when I was 17, but then my uncle died of lung cancer a year later and she's been smoking ever since.

chelseamb11 · July 2012

One thing though (and correct me if I'm wrong, I have only done pot a efw times), I feel like it's harder to regulate how high your getting compared to how drunk you're getting. It's not like pot is "labeled" by intensity. One hit of one batch could have you higher than a kite while ten hits of another could just mellow you. This would make it harder to be sure you're sober enough to take care of your kids.

Nebb · July 2012

I don't think its a bad thing, I think in adults, pot and drinking are pretty much the same thing. Maybe its cause we have a more relaxed view of things here in canada? I don't know. I know my dad used to drink a lot of beer when I was a child, my mom smoked cigarettes and it was never a big deal to me. That was just "adult stuffs" to me. I know parents who smoke weed at the end of the day and they're amazing people and parents so I don't see an issue at all. Its all the same to me. Also, the "its illegal!!!!1!1!!" Standpoint is silly to me. So is speeding but most people do it. Lots of things are illegal to some degree but people do them. Unless anyone who thinks that never breaks even the most minute law, I think its a silly arguement.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

That could be true, chels. Some "batches" or whatever might be stronger depending on the amounts of THC. But I mean... I dunno, I think you can usually tell if it's a bit stronger after you take a hit. And if there is someone out there that gets completely zonked by one hit, there was probably something else in it, lol.

Simply Fated · July 2012

@chels... That's true for most people. The alcohol hits you almost right away. Pot usually take times to settle in. It depends on the person, though. because of the way alcohol and pot travels differently through the body.

@Nebb... the reason why the legality of pot matters because in some cases, as some pps mentioned, the parents can be taken away from the kids and/or given jailtime. With speeding, you'll just get a ticket. Neither one is good, though, especially if it's excessive speeding.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

So which would be worse... hypothetically, of course:

If I were smoking pot in a locked room in my house, away from the children, OR, if I was speeding 90 mph down the highway with my kids in the back seat.

chelseamb11 · July 2012

90mph easily is worse AATB because you're putting them in direct danger.

Nebb · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:e32672ca-1a28-4232-be67-ce3053cd2bac">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]So which would be worse... hypothetically, of course: If I were smoking pot in a locked room in my house, away from the children, OR, if I was speeding 90 mph down the highway with my kids in the back seat.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
Just remember while you are speeding to throw garbage at anyone who pisses you off. Thatll just teach your kids an extra lesson.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:4b6cda83-2d8f-4048-9e44-89440eb49565">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pot-Smoking Moms : Just remember while you are speeding to throw garbage at anyone who pisses you off. Thatll just teach your kids an extra lesson.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

OMG YES.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Really Dot? gross

texasgurly13 · July 2012

Some of hte girls that I used to work with smoke pot recreationally, and they have children. As far as I know, they don't do it when the children are at home, but they do smoke.

I was at a friend's house for a sleepover (it was in junior high, I think), and her mom wasn't exactly the best role model. We were all waiting downstairs for our parents to pick us up, and her mom was smoking something (I thought it was cigarettes) and sitting with us just talking like everything was normal.

When my mom came to get me, she immediately smelled it on me (pot). I was very naive and I didn't know what it smelled like so I didn't think anything of it. She flipped a shiiitt and forbid me from going there again. She asked me repeatedley if I had smoked anything and I swore up and down that I didn't. She did believe me thank God because I would have been pissed if I had been groundd for something I didn't do

Simply Fated · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:e32672ca-1a28-4232-be67-ce3053cd2bac">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]So which would be worse... hypothetically, of course: If I were smoking pot in a locked room in my house, away from the children, OR, if I was speeding 90 mph down the highway with my kids in the back seat.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
Those are two different very different things, though. One is extreme and the other isn't. It isn't a fair and balanced comparison.

Try one of these:

90 mph (in a 55mph zone) with kids vs getting stoned while the kids are in the room.

Or

40 mph (in a 30 mph zone) with kids vs taking a few puffs with kids somewhat nearby

Those are comparisons where people might not go, "Well, obviously THAT one..."

Now, debate those two situations.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

I'd still say speeding, Simply. Because no kid is going to die when they're in a room with pot smokers.

I can concede it is not the healthiest or best situation for them to be in - definitely not. And if I knew of this happening, I'd want the situation remedied immediately. But you can die when you speed. Hell, you can die if you are driving and you don't speed. I have yet to hear of anyone dying from pot.

ETA - I feel I should amend my first statement. If a kid is in a room full of pot smokers who are whipping freshly sharpened samurai swords around at each other, well, they might die. But otherwise, no.

Simply Fated · July 2012

Out of curiousity, because I should be cleaning but I'd rather be procrastinating...

What if they were going the speed limit, but the speed limit is 75 vs being high while driving 35 mph in a 35 mph zone?

ETA: In both cases there are kids in the car.

Nebb · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pot-smoking-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8ea774eb-53be-42cb-b33d-98ea5e539885Post:acce31a3-3e43-4093-b743-879762e88e87">Re: Pot-Smoking Moms</a>:
[QUOTE]Out of curiousity, because I should be cleaning but I'd rather be procrastinating... What if they were going the speed limit, but the speed limit is 75 vs being high while driving 35 mph in a 35 mph zone? ETA: In both cases there are kids in the car.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
I think driving impared is worse, just because it adds an extra element to the risk. I think thats part of why pot has not been legalized is that they cant really do a breathalizer to find out if you are impared while driving.

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