Etiquette

Warning, kind of graphic

So there was a suicide across the street. A guy jumped through his office window about 8 stories up and landed on the sidewalk in the courtyard between his building and mine. It's very disturbing and very gory and I really, really want go go home to get away from it. Right now the police are outside conducting the investigation and the body is still lying there on the sidewalk. 

I'm a little surprised the office managers haven't sent us  home. It's not like anyone is working. So to make this more than just an LJ post, I'll ask a question. If you were an office manager and this was happening in your office, would you let people go home? I want to go hug my husband. A lot.
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Re: Warning, kind of graphic

  • Ugh. Awful. I know I wouldn't be able to do much worthwhile work the rest of the day. I'd probably just leave it up to people to decide if they want to go home. No point in sitting in the office doing nothing. It would be impossible to concentrate.
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  • I would definitely give my employees an option to leave....how awful! I'm sorry!
  • I saw this on FB and I already commented, but I'm so sorry, Manda.  That's terrible.  I don't blame you for wanting to go home right now.  I can't imagine what that must be like to witness.  *HUGS*

    Yes, I would let people go home, if I worked someplace where that was an option (i.e. not a hospital).  If people are running around, freaking out, getting upset, they're not going to be productive anyway.  I'd probably give the option for people to leave if they wanted to.
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  • Man that is terrible!

    I'm sorry though, I don't really understand why you should have to go home.  You don't know the guy and there doesn't seem to be any reason why you should see the body or be looking at it, unless it's your own curiosity drawing you to the windows right?
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I stayed in my office, admittedly not getting much work done, on 9/11/01... so I probably wouldn't think to go home in this instance either, and therefore probably wouldn't think to see if the employees wanted to go home.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • That's definitely a crappy thing to see. We would never be sent home for that though - with so many high rise buildings, its just bound to happen. Had a jumper 6 months ago and as gory (and sad) as it was, people just had to walk by the scene and get on with their day. At least a couple a year...
  • Oh gawd, that's awful!  I'm so sorry, Manda.  I don't know about the going home, but I know I'd be pretty shaken up.
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  • that is so awful!  yes, of course I would let/encourage people to go home - I'm sending you a hug from my computer, but that probably doesn't help much.  I'm so sorry. 
  • Whoa - that is terrible.  I once worked at a place where a girls ex husband went up to the job and asked to talk to her outside.  They argued for a minute and she went inside, as she's walking in he got in her car and shot himself.  She never came back to work after that, I don't blame her.  They didn't send anyone home, didn't even tell people to stay back from the windows.  :(  Suicide makes me very sad. 
  • Oh, how horrible. I'm sorry :( I agree with TJ too. I'd give people the option to go home, if they chose.

    Something similar happened at FI's old company. The company was in a 10 story office building and you have to have a keycard to get in. One of FI's coworkers (in another department, he didin't know the guy very well) swiped his keycard at 5:30 AM and they have security tapes that show him entering the building, but never leaving. His wife called the cops when he didn't turn up after work that day. The police found his body in the bushes next to the building.
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  • I hear where you're coming from Dani. And to be honest, I'm not deliberately looking at the windows or gawking, but other people are and that in and of itself is causing a disturbance. 

    It's really strange the way this is effecting people. Some people are taking pictures (and I'm restraining myself from yelling at them) and one of the team leaders ordered her team to pray. I get that your motives are good there, but really? She yelled at the people who didn't respond to bow their heads now and pray. 
  • LC, I think I remember that happening and you posted about it here!

    Manda, did you actually see it happen?  Now I feel like I'm being a jerk because I seem to be the only one not thinking why you would be so sad.  I mean, yeah no one will likely get much done for the rest of the day, but I guess I just wouldn't expect my employer to send me home unless it was my own co-worker or someone we all knew.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:e52923d9-8f35-43a9-89c7-61975c57776e">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]Some people are taking pictures (and I'm restraining myself from yelling at them) and one of the team leaders ordered her team to pray. I get that your motives are good there, but really? She yelled at the people who didn't respond to bow their heads now and pray. 
    Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

    Taking pictures is horrible and the lady making people pray, um hello law suit?  She can't do that!
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  • I am so sorry that you are going through this. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

    I know how you feel but I don't think I would send anyone home. Stay away from the windows and go look pitiful. Your boss might let you go if you look really bad. LOL! Can you ask to leave?
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • It depends on your industry and what you do for a living. I mean...are you in an environment where if everyone went home it wouldn't be the end of the world?
    In my job, there's no way. NO way I could have everyone go home, especially this time of year. So while I'd love to be able to send people home/give them that choice, I probably wouldn't be able to. And you can't do for some and not others. Of course, if someone was terribly upset about it and was showing signs of such, I would have to. But it would be hard.

    I'm really sorry MP, that really does suck though.
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  • I'm not aware that anyone over here actually saw it happen. Someone said "there's a man lying on the sidewalk" and we looked outside thinking it was a homeless person or someone ill. It must have just been a moment or two after he jumped because people started pouring out of the building a second later.

    Dani I don't think you're being a jerk at all. I think people react to death differently is all. Oddly enough I actually specialized in death and dying in college. And for the record, I'm not "sad", just sort of freaked out. I think it's the mental image that's stuck with me. Also, I keep wondering what could possibly have happened to make him make that decision. 
  • Can you approach your boss to take leave for the rest of the day.  If you're that shaken up I think you should.

    Not at all the same, but one of my friends died almost a year ago, and I was fine for over a week.  Then a few days after his funeral I just got really depressed and couldn't focus at work, and my boss was completely understanding.  Sometimes you just need a day to get your head right.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:8d644b9b-6294-435c-88bc-aebb823324a7">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am so sorry that you are going through this. ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) I know how you feel but I don't think I would send anyone home. <strong>Stay away from the windows and go look pitiful. Your boss might let you go if you look really bad. LOL! Can you ask to leave?</strong>
    Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]

    Ok. I'm juding you really hard for this.
    That's ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous, and not acceptable. At all.
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  • Oh and someone already filed an HR complaint about the lady ordering her team to pray. Less than an hour after this whole incident started. Ahh, life goes on.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:56cd019b-98de-4b18-b7c8-7fd2a3dcb070">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not aware that anyone over here actually saw it happen. Someone said "there's a man lying on the sidewalk" and we looked outside thinking it was a homeless person or someone ill. It must have just been a moment or two after he jumped because people started pouring out of the building a second later. Dani I don't think you're being a jerk at all. I think people react to death differently is all. Oddly enough I actually specialized in death and dying in college. And for the record, I'm not "sad", just sort of freaked out. I think it's the mental image that's stuck with me. Also, I keep wondering what could possibly have happened to make him make that decision. 
    Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

    Okay, all of that makes a lot more sense.  I think I'd be freaked out too if I went and saw it right after it happened.    I'd probably be doing what you're doing - posting about it, talking about it, not getting any real work done the rest of the day!
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Suicide doesn't make me sad.  It makes me angry.  It's selfish and cowardly.
    (unless the person was dying anyway and in pain, and just sped up the process a bit)
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    Um holy crap. They should REALLY let you leave. That's not right. 
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:cefbe300-bfa3-4c45-8792-795c22786543">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh and someone already filed an HR complaint about the lady ordering her team to pray. Less than an hour after this whole incident started. Ahh, life goes on.
    Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]
    That'd have been me if I was in your office.  Only I likely would've cursed out the "lady" first.... assuming you don't work for a religious organization.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:8d644b9b-6294-435c-88bc-aebb823324a7">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stay away from the windows and go look pitiful. Your boss might let you go if you look really bad. LOL! 
    Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]

    <div>Seriously? LOL? </div>
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  • I know I would want to leave if I'd looked out the window. That's horrible.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:4c6a9f96-e204-4ce1-9762-2ffc43fa15fc">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Warning, kind of graphic : Okay, all of that makes a lot more sense.  I think I'd be freaked out too if I went and saw it right after it happened.    I'd probably be doing what you're doing - posting about it, talking about it, not getting any real work done the rest of the day!
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    <div>Someone just reminded me I have a client appointment at 2:30. So that means I have to leave to go to an offsite. I'm not gonna lie, I'm relieved. </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:fc802bec-667d-4d17-875e-21a6be162774">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know I would want to leave if I'd looked out the window. That's horrible.
    Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah. It was... yeah. The body is covered with a sheet now, but can I ask why they use white sheets? Um. Absorbent. And that's all I'm going to say about that.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_warning-kind-of-graphic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7a06376f-a2d6-4f12-8383-88a4a9f682f1Post:6d78d933-b5aa-40eb-80a6-db61ebb17b6a">Re: Warning, kind of graphic</a>:
    [QUOTE]Man that is terrible! I'm sorry though, I don't really understand why you should have to go home.  You don't know the guy and there doesn't seem to be any reason why you should see the body or be looking at it, unless it's your own curiosity drawing you to the windows right?
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  But then again, I was a bitch of a boss, so.... </div>
  • @ MANDA, in no way was I trying to lessen how you feel by my comment of looking pitiful or asking to go home. 

    I can remember 9-11 and how many of my students' parents pulled them out of school but the teachers could not leave. I called my mom, at least, 3 times before school was out that day, and I hadn't even seen the video of the buildings yet. So I understand where you are coming from with feeling trapped.

    My "LOL" was not intended to hurt you anymore than you already are.
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • This happened near my school last year.  It was a few minutes past 3:15 whenthe kids get out and while talking to a few teachers, we saw all the kids run towards something on the sidewalk.  We of course thought it was a fight as usual.  Turns out a woman in the projects was either pushed out or jumped out of a window on the 16th floor.  When we left work the white sheet was still there and it was horrifying to look at.  The next day the school had the crisis team come but the kids acted like nothing even happened.  I guess they've seen crazier things.  I think people just interpret things differently and it affects everyone differently.  I'm happy you get to leave but still work :)
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