POLL: Would you Go?

bbyckes · February 2010

So on another forum, there was a question about how much to charge for a Jack and Jill party. I know that in Canada, these fundraisers for the wedding tend to be more popular. This particular poster was in the US.

A couple of questions for you:

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from?
2. Your general location?
3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?

FYI: From what I've gathered - a Jack and Jill is a party thrown by a friend of the couple. Guests are charged an "admission" to the party and there are several raffles and cash oriented games. All proceeds would go to the couple to aid in paying for their wedding.

Definitely interested in hearing your answers.

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from? I'd never heard of them before the Knot.
2. Your general location? Los Angeles/Orange County
3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not? Probably not. I don't usually patronize clubs with a cover charge, and when I was in college, only the crassest people charged admission to a party. It's the sort of thing that, if done after college, would just seem really immature and cheap.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

1. I'd never heard of them until TK.
2. I live in Atlanta; I've lived in the South my whole life.
3. Not a chance. I don't mind paying a cover to get into a club or a show, but there's no way I'm participating in a wedding fundraiser. Your wedding is not a charity.

trix1223 · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from? Never heard of them until The Knot.

2. Your general location? New Jersey

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not? Absolutely not. I think a couple plans the wedding they can afford on their own. No one is OWED a big pretty princess day, and to ask your friends and family to fund it for you so that you can have more than you can afford is just 100% wrong.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from? Nope. The only Jack & Jill I had heard of before TK was just a co-ed shower. No admission charged...

2. Your general location?
Grew up in Louisiana, live in Texas.

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?
Not. I'd rather just decline the invite to the wedding and save them the money on my plate than exchange cash under the guise of a fundraiser.

lkm2006 · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from? I've heard the term used but they always refer to a type of co-ed shower for the couple where they receive 'guy' type of gifts.. tools, grill stuff, etc..

2. Your general location? South

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not? Definitely not, I don't want to go to a party that I'm charged for just so the couple can have a wedding!! That just screams crazy to me.

megk8oz · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from?
I've never heard of them before TK

2. Your general location?
New Jersey (The shore area)

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?
No. Unless it's a benefit dinner, I don't pay to get into parties. Plus, I paid every dime for my wedding, like hell I'm "donating" to help somebody else pay for theirs.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from? - no
2. Your general location? - I live in CA but all my wedding knowledge comes from my family traditions in upstate NY.
3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not? - I doubt this will ever come up, but probably not. It isn't like I'll be missed if people are just seeing me as a way to make $$. Plus, from what I gather, it is more like a community event and people who go aren't always invited to the wedding.

psichick · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from? never heard of them before here

2. Your general location? ny - southern westchester

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not? absolutely not. a fundraiser for a wedding? that's just ridiculous. i am NOT giving a couple money to pay for their wedding, then also be expected to give a gift? i'm not a freaking bank. save up to pay for your own damn wedding like the rest of us.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

Never heard of them before TK. I'm from NC. I would never go to one. Gross.

And the girl that compared them to a community coming together to help pay for a funeral made me want to stab myself in the face.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

Did someone delete something?

I will say that co-ed or couples showers are very common where I live. But those are just like regular showers, except guys are invited too. They usually morph into a backyard BBQ (that the host provides everything for) with games like beer pong or bocchi ball. It's a shower, and by no means a fundraiser. I think that's a different animal.

Theresa626 · February 2010

I've never heards of them. From the midwest and the east coast. If it was a close friend, I'd go, if it wasn't, I'd skip it.

meladoriestar · February 2010

Never heard of it.

From northern CA.

Depends on the cover and how close they are. I know I want the wedding of my dreams, and if I can afford to help someone else out to have theirs, why not? If it was a friend in my immediate group, I would pay up to $50, plus also a gift. If it was more of a somewhat acquaintance friend, I may pay up to $20 at most. I'm not rich by any means, but what is money meant for but to spend, and $20 to make someone else smile won't break the bank.

SpookyKiwi · February 2010

I live in the CA bay area and I've never heard of them either. I don't think I would go.

I don't think I would feel comfortable being told how much I would have to pay [as would happen with a party], but with close friends, I would donate to their wedding in a heart beat. I've been able to do a few extra things in my wedding due to the kindness of my friends & family, and I would want to repay that kindness. That said, I want it to be on my own terms and to be personal--not just another $20 thrown on a pile.

If I lived in a place where this was common, I'm sure I'd feel differently about it, but since I need to be told how it works, if feels a little weird.

duckie1905 · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from?
No, they aren't popular but I've been invited to 2

2. Your general location?
Chicago

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?
No. I'm not really comfortable with attending what amounts to a fundraiser for someone's wedding. I'm happy to buy gifts or give money as a wedding present, but asking for it blantantly (under the disguise of a party) leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe I'd feel differently if it were common where I'm from, but here, it is just considered rude to expect people attending a party to pay for their entrance.

fairbanksgrrrl · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from?
Here, that phrase just means a shower with men and women, rather than women only (could be a wedding or baby shower). THOSE are popular. What you are talking about- no way.

2. Your general location?
Fairbanks, AK

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?
The only charities I support with cash are food banks.

Pirata13 · February 2010

1. Nope
2. Lived in Pittsburgh PA my whole life
3. Nope, would not attend.

Blue_Bird · February 2010

1. No. In fact I'd previously thought they were just bachelor/bachelorette parties where both sexes were welcome.
2.I live in Baltimore.
3. If it's a wedding fundraiser, I would not go. Can't think of too many things more tacky.

MOBinFL2008 · February 2010

1. Never heard of them before The Knot
2. New Jersey, then Tennessee, now Florida

3. No! Why would I ever want to help raise funds and pay for someone else's wedding when I don't even want to have to pay for my own drinks at a wedding. Your wedding - you pay.

lchamnes · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from?
Never heard of it in my life.

2. Your general location?
Virginia

3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?
Heck no. People shouldn't plan a wedding beyond their means. If they need a fundraiser, they've taken a wrong turn!

smartissexy811 · February 2010

Well...I first want to say that I think it is tacky. I have never heard of them nor would I have one. I am on a budget and all my friends and family know it. I have already have had offers of help and monetary gifts given to help pay for the wedding in lieu of a gift at the wedding. Times are tough and everyone knows that but a charity event for your wedding. Maybe you should wait to get married or get married and renew your vows when you have more money.

B.dry · February 2010

1. I've never heard of them before until the Knot but I have heard of Co-ed Bach parties or even Co-ed bridal shower but I've never heard of a party with a cover charge.
2. Live in Montana
3. I wouldn't go if invited. I feel it's tacky in the same way the Dollar Dance is.

Jamie124 · February 2010

1. Are Jack and Jill parties popular where you're from?
Pretty popular around here. A lot of people have them. Its a risky thing to do because if no one shows up then you are out money. They are usually held at a social club with a hall like the Legion.
I know a lot of people post that they are 'tacky' but they are not familiar with them and not generally from around here. I'm actually struggling with the decision myself. I don't want one, but its strong tradition in my FI's family...So do i risk losing money and looking 'tacky' or piss off my future family???
2. Your general location?
New england
3. Would you go to a Jack and Jill party if invited? Why or why not?
I'd go, if i was invited to the wedding and i was close to the bride or groom. I wouldn't go if i wan't invited to the wedding.

Rita092010 · February 2010

1) No, I actually didn't know what they were until I read this post.
2) Iowa
3) Probably not. I would rather put the money towards the wedding present - just a preference.

MairePoppy · February 2010

1. The fundraiser Jack and Jills are not popular here.
2. Connecticut
3. Don't really like the idea, but would participate if it was for a close friend or family member.

number55 · February 2010

Okay, I am from Canada and I have only heard of them called Stag and Does and TONS of people have them up here...for example my future cousin in law (do those even exist) was apparently disappointed that we weren't having one...

I will not have one and here is why...we have a small group of friends/family/coworkers. The people we care about are already coming to the wedding and while I don't presume we will get gifts, I imagine at least some of our guests will get us some, as will women who come to my showers. I can't ask them to come to something else and pay for it, it is just too much IMHO. My marriage shouldn't cost those I care about endless amounts of money...

So here is how they work from what I have heard of them...you pay a certain amount to go, that gets you in. Then there are also raffle tickets. Whomever throws the Stag and Doe tries to get local businesses to donate stuff to raffle off. Guests buy tickets and can win stuff. I have heard of people winning awesome stuff, like 60 inch tvs, BBQs, etc...

Here is my major beef. I work at a school with about 75 staff. A coworker posted on our work email about her Stag and Doe, inviting staff (most of whom would never be invited to the wedding). FIne, I ignored it, wasn't going to go, didn't care that she sent the email. Then she went around and asked teachers (not me thank goodness, but my roommate at the time), if they wanted to go, and if they said no, she asked them if they wanted to buy tickets...THIS IS THE BRIDE, not the person hosting the party...my roommate said he could barely contain himself from telling her that he wasn't about to fund her wedding considering they never spoke.

I also heard about a couple in a neighboring city who racked up $236 000 in profits from their Stag and Doe but they had 2300 people attend...yes, you heard me right, 2300...

If a close friend or family member had one, I would go. But I am not having one myself, not my style.

klmbbb · February 2010

I'm from Canada too (I live in Ontario) and I have heard of these but they weren't done in my social circle. IMO, this would only be acceptable for younger couples.

Been to one, for FI's cousin, and we went, though I admit my first reaction when I heard about it was a cringe. I would never dream of having one myself but didn't mind going to FI's cousin's - it was ok, with the games they had set up. I would only consider going to another if I were invited to the wedding, though I guess it really depends on who it was for.

ninjette04 · February 2010

1. Never heard of them before this post, actually...
2. From Cincinnati, OH
3. No Way! My friends would laugh their A$$es off at me, if I even suggested this! They would find it way beyond rude, and honestly so do I. IMHO, if you need to do this, you should just elope, or have your wedding when you can afford it.

Sarah-Jean · February 2010

1) I've heard of them before, a few couples I know have had them.

2) Connecticut

3) Although i've heard of J&J's, i've never heard of people charging admission to one. Usually it's the same idea as a shower, but for both the bride & groom. The admission thing sounds more like a Bachelor Party where guys will buy raffle tickets or something. At a J&J, people are bringing gifts, like they would a bridal shower, so charging them on top of that is a little crass (IMHO).

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