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Don't know what to do...

hbrockman01hbrockman01 member
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
I love my soon to be mother in-law but she is driving me nuts regarding things to do with the gues list! We are limited on space and things are pretty equal across the board when it comes to the guest but she is insisting that we invite people she works with (that we have never met) and her 3rd and 4th cousins (also never met). I feel like I have been rather accomodating to her "List" but where does it stop! I can't ask my parents to continue to pay for people when we don't even have the room for them. She keeps saying things like well your cousins are going to be there... yeah my cousins (1st cousins and 1 of which is my MOH). How is it fair for her to say that when we are talking bride's 1st cousins and FMIL 3rd & 4th cousins? UGH, I guess I am just frustrated! My fiance's sister warned me in the beginning not to let her anywhere near anything b/c she would totally ruin my day as she did her's, but how do I tell her enough is enough!

Not to mention I have taken her dress shopping now 3 different times and she has yet to decide on a dress too. Everywhere that we went told her that a dress would need to be ordered and she would be limited as our wedding is less than 4mths away!

I just don't know what to do... any advice?
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Re: Don't know what to do...

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Am I understanding that your parents are paying for the wedding and have generously split the invitations with your FMIL, who is not contributing?

    Your Fi should tell his mom that she may not add more guests to the list because of budget and space constraints. You should repeat the same message if she asks you.

    FMIL is a grown woman. She should be able to find a dress on her own. If she can't, she can wear something she already owns. Leave it up to her. This does not have to be your problem.
                       
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Maire said it all.
    image
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  • hbrockman01hbrockman01 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Completely understandable! I appreciate you help! Problem she is insisting on me helping her find a dress because she doesn't want to wear something that wouldn't work with the wedding. We have looked at so many and I have told her repeatedly that it really doesn't matter. She throws a fit like a child about finding a dress and when we have found more than enough she refuses to purchase... that is the issue there!
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  • 4LeafClover34LeafClover3
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like she is trying to get more attention than she needs. Your fiance needs to tell her that no one else will be added... plain and simple. And it really needs to come from him because it is his mother and may sit better coming from him. In regards to the dress shopping, I would just not go with her anymore. Anytime she asks to go you need to tell her you are busy and encourage her to go on her own. Don't worry... she will get a dress eventually on her own. And if not then she will have to wear something she already owns. Don't cave in to her childishness. She is trying to make it about her and it isn't.
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  • jenn&chadjenn&chad member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I agree with PPs, I would have your FI speak to her and inform her that she is on her own with picking out her dress and draw the line with the guest list.  Perhaps she will take it seriously coming from her son. 

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  • AmynutritionAmynutrition member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Your Fi should tell his mom that she may not add more guests to the list because of budget and space constraints. You should repeat the same message if she asks you.

    ^^^ This one. Your man needs to lay down the law. And tell FI you don't want to marry a guy who won't stand up to a crazy mommy 'or'
    say "It really makes me horny went you stand up to your mom for me..."
    (motivation)
    June 2012 Brides

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  • Kimberly0402Kimberly0402 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We made it clear from the beginning that we only would invite people that we know and are a part of our lives. While it has made some people (my father's wife) unhappy, it's what we want.
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a28278ac-88c7-4100-af30-3f537cd5b810Post:b343a061-ba8b-4657-b7b4-f714ffa9e4a5">Re: Don't know what to do...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Am I understanding that your parents are paying for the wedding and have generously split the invitations with your FMIL, who is not contributing? Your Fi should tell his mom that she may not add more guests to the list because of budget and space constraints. You should repeat the same message if she asks you. FMIL is a grown woman. She should be able to find a dress on her own. If she can't, she can wear something she already owns. Leave it up to her. This does not have to be your problem.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!!!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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