Question

kthame · December 2009

We have tons of out of town guests, so I was talking to my Mom and I decided to make a STD for the shower (to email, not to actually send out to everyone) and here it is. I've been learning PhotoShop so that's why I wanted to just play and make one.

What do you think?

**Okay, so after much advice from our fellow Knotties, this came across as "gift-grabby", so we won't be using it - maybe my Mom will use something similar for the invitation vs a STD"

coreysmomma · December 2009

I think an emailed one is a fantastic idea if you have OOT guests.
I love this!

Danielle

coreysmomma · December 2009

Oooops, don't forget to change the year! It'll be 2010.

Danielle

kthame · December 2009

Oh yeah. Do you know that no one noticed that! LOL...hilarious.. Thank you!

MsBunny312 · December 2009

That looks really nice. Good job!

Brie2010 · December 2009

I hate to be the turd in the punchbowl, but this comes across as really gift grabby to me. As in, "make sure you save the date so you can be sure to come give me lots of presents!"

It rubs me the wrong way. I might intentionally decline this shower on principle.

ButtonsPepper · December 2009

MsBunny - Cute picture! Did the photog. just happen to capture the moment of your FI proposing?

kthame · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:a7d8ff82-0681-4482-b800-0e36e967c700">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate to be the turd in the punchbowl. Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

That really made me laugh.

[QUOTE] this comes across as really gift grabby to me. As in, "make sure you save the date so you can be sure to come give me lots of presents!" It rubs me the wrong way. I might intentionally decline this shower on principle.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

WOW, really? I never thought of it that way. Is it the picture of gift that makes you feel like that? The only reason I used it was because I have the Tiffany Blue color, as my theme. Not necessarily a "Tiffany" theme. I don't own one thing from Tiffany..LOL.

I had a friend send me one (which gave me the idea); she sent them to her out of town friends (she lives in Canada) and I never took it as gift-grabby. I'm having my bachelorette party the same weekend, because I wanted to save the girls on having to (or feeling like they had to) come to Chicago 3 different times. The Bachelorette party is Friday and the shower Sunday. Saturday will be a day of recovery.

Anyhow, it's certainly not the intention to come across as "give me gifts"...

sucrets4 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:ae39e092-c8c9-4b66-b027-0434c6e8a5e8">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]IAnyhow, it's certainly not the intention to come across as "give me gifts"...
Posted by kthame[/QUOTE]

Well, since showers are SOLELY to give you presents, it would make sense that sending an std could come across as gift grabby.

Have your mom spread it by word of mouth to your family and your MOH can do the same with your friends.

kthame · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:005689c6-581d-4cd2-9c7d-037c0be0dc2a">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Shower STD : Well, since showers are SOLELY to give you presents, it would make sense that sending an std could come across as gift grabby. Have your mom spread it by word of mouth to your family and your MOH can do the same with your friends.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

I meant my putting the picture of the box on there...I know I'm getting gifts, LOL.

Annie_Warbucks · December 2009

Yes. A STD to a shower does seem gift grabby. And including a Tiffany box on said invite doesn't help. And, inviting a ton of OOT guests to a shower seems gift grabby as well. I would definitely cringe upon receiving this email. Whatever your intention may be, it comes off as tacky.

Why not just use word of mouth? I would think if you are inviting these people to your shower, you and your mom should be close enough to them that you can throw it in a conversation or two before then.

Brie2010 · December 2009

It's not the gift box that makes me think that, it's the fact that you see your shower (which is a party for people to give gifts to you) as such an important event it requires an STD. To me, the message it sends is "Giving me a gift is super important! Don't forget to save an entire day in your calendar for it months in advance!"

It just really, really rubs me the wrong way. It's generally bad etiquette for a bride to take part in planning her shower in any way, so I'd just stay out of it. All you should do is give the guest list to the hostess and thank her graciously when it's over.

sucrets4 · December 2009

Even without the Tiffany box, it's still bad.

You're basically saying "save the date so that you can give me presents!!!"

Does that make sense?

kthame · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:ae954bb4-3231-4b25-b8a3-62bfd6e354cf">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes. A STD to a shower does seem gift grabby. And including a Tiffany box on said invite doesn't help. And, inviting a ton of OOT guests to a shower seems gift grabby as well. I would definitely cringe upon receiving this email. Whatever your intention may be, it comes off as tacky. Why not just use word of mouth? I would think if you are inviting these people to your shower, you and your mom should be close enough to them that you can throw it in a conversation or two before then.
Posted by Annie_Warbucks[/QUOTE]

When I say I'm inviting a ton of out of town guests, I'm referring to my BMs and my FIs family (he doesn't have any family in Chicago). Okay, so if this rubs you ladies the wrong way, then I won't use it. I wouldn't want it to leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth.

As I mentioned in my original post, I was playing in Photoshop and just decided to make it. I showed my MOm and she thought it was super cute. If she wanted me to, I could just change it up so it was the actual invitation vs. a STD.

Thanks for the input, ladies.

kthame · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:df9c59e9-5d08-4c5f-9e43-c205c0bd7eca">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not the gift box that makes me think that, it's the fact that you see your shower (which is a party for people to give gifts to you) as such an important event it requires an STD. To me, the message it sends is "Giving me a gift is super important! Don't forget to save an entire day in your calendar for it months in advance!" It just really, really rubs me the wrong way. It's generally bad etiquette for a bride to take part in planning her shower in any way, so I'd just stay out of it. All you should do is give the guest list to the hostess and thank her graciously when it's over.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

I definitely don't think of our shower as such an important date that I need to remind my guests months in advance. Since I know the majority of them are coming in anyhow for the bachelorette party, I didn't see it in this light. That's why it's good to ask for opinions...I certainly got them and can see everyone's point. They say a fresh set of eyes is great, right?

I'm not taking part of my shower planning at all, I don't even know where it is; I was updating all of my invitations (I can't seem to make up my mind) and just started playing around in Photoshop.

kthame · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:550ce173-0a57-41ae-8994-441db6c385aa">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]Even without the Tiffany box, it's still bad. You're basically saying "save the date so that you can give me presents!!!" Does that make sense?
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

I hear ya, it just wasn't my intention to come across that way...but clearly that's what it does. :)

sucrets4 · December 2009

I get that it wasn't your intention - this is why these forums are a great resources for honest opinions. Thank you for being level headed.

kthame · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_shower-std?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:d9924ee1-76f3-40e0-a251-5648286d6ea9Post:a04d8b90-b346-4405-8a50-c06a1be45003">Re: My Shower STD</a>:
[QUOTE]I get that it wasn't your intention - this is why these forums are a great resources for honest opinions. Thank you for being level headed. :)
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Of course! If you're going to ask for people's opinions, you'd best be prepared for and open to them, which I certanly am.

abellorin · January 2010

a std for a shower is definitly something new but i think its kinda cool becuase it different. who wants to be like everyone else? i don't think its gift grabby, to me it comes across as "i really want you to be there and be a part of the special days leading up to the wedding too, not just the wedding" - to the oot guests. plus i think that guests and family members would enjoy recieving it and it would make them feel more involved, like their attendance matters. i mean... if other people dont like it they don't have to do it right? i probably wont do something like that but i'm probably doing other things for the wedding that others wouldn't like, and thats ok...because its the brides wedding not everyone elses.

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