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Wedding location at home (far from your location at school!)

yummyravioliyummyravioli member
First Comment
in Students
Hi,
I go to school in Rhode Island- graduating at the end of May, but I'm trying to plan the ceremony in Portland, OR or Seattle, WA where I grew up, my family lives, and I hope to move back to next summer. My fear is that being so far away I may not get to see any venues, vendors, anything in person until a short time (maybe a few weeks) before the date. I really don't want to move the date past early July because I will need to be available to start a new job (and I hate hot hot sweaty summer weddings!). Working on a pretty tight budget I would love to be able to be crafty and do a lot of DIY things for the wedding, but I don't know how to so far away!
I can ask my mom to do things for me but I worry I may get an opinion biased in the way she views things, not usually the same way I do.
Anyone successfully planned a wedding from school without physically being there? Any advice for dealing with the distance and coordinating everything?
I am thinking I may have to skip out on the spring break trip I've planned with my college girlfriends to make an emergency trip home :s
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Re: Wedding location at home (far from your location at school!)

  • moshi's pawmoshi's paw
    First Comment
    hey there yummy!

    I was born and raised in RI and I'm in the same boat as you- except I'm at Virginia Tech and I'm planning a wedding in Providence!

    There is a lot that you can do to ensure it's your wedding day, and you don't have to be physically on the west coast in person to accomplish it.  Vendors also have email!  I would wisely spend at least your breaks planning and meeting with vendors.  FI and I are heading up to RI next week and we're locking in venue, florist, photographer, DJ, etc.  it'll be nice beacuse we don't have to worry about anything for at least the next three months until my next break!  My mother has also been doing a lot of legwork for us already, with looking into vendors, and for some I trust her (family florist, friend of the family DJ, etc).  But ultimately she is very aware that the final say (yea or nay) is up to us- she won't go put a deposit on anything just because she loves it. 

    it's tough, but it's definitely doable.  if the location in the pacific northwest is the most important thing to you about your day, you can and will make it happen.  good luck!
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    If you don't trust your mom to do it, I would definitely recommend hiring a wedding coordinator, who can visit these places for you and send you pictures. WCs have also seen so many venues, they probaly will have some in mind when you explain what you want.
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  • YadyrraYadyrra member
    First Comment
    I was on the same boat (not as far away as you, but still pretty far to drive every weekend).

    You should ask your fiancee (if he is over there) to go and check them out and give you his input.  Otherwise, you either trust your mom with some things and try to organize others yourself.

    Don't skip your Spring break, remember that might be your LAST trip as a single lady woman so better take advantage of it.
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  • LauraT25LauraT25
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_wedding-location-home-far-location-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:9c9f963d-a31e-4d4e-a321-994c426f4a67Post:6f35f078-ebed-446d-9a9d-219ef206a0cd">Re: Wedding location at home (far from your location at school!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't skip your Spring break, remember that might be your LAST trip as a single lady woman so better take advantage of it.
    Posted by Yadyrra[/QUOTE]

    I don't agree with this - if you want to spend your spring break working on WR stuff, then do it.  I don't get the whole thing about it being your last vacation as a single lady (woman?) since you are, in fact, engaged - there's nothing I would do now that I won't be able to do once I'm married.

    The distance is tough.  My family actually lives in Portland and I've been on the East Coast for the past 7 years.  I rarely go home, so I can't imagine my wedding depending on it!  It's a VERY long trip and it's a lot of money to shell out just to book a DJ and a florist.  I agree with PPs, give your mother a little bit of control (but keeping the final vote for you and FI!), making sure she sends you a lot of pictures of every place she visits.  And if you don't think she's right for the job, a wedding coordinator would be a wise investment.

    As for the DIY, it's kind of tough - if you make a bunch of stuff in RI, how will you transport it to WA/OR?  Are you driving or flying home?  Even if you're driving, I'm sure you'll have a ton of college stuff to bring home.  I think you may have to outsource some DIY to West Coast family, sticking to design on your end of things.  Also, it is possible for you to put off the wedding - as long as it's not immediately after you get hired (meaning you may have to put it off a year or so), most employers will have no problem with you taking off for your wedding, but you need to be up-front about it when you interview.  If you don't think you'll have something lined up, though, and you may still be job-hunting for a while, it may be better to get married first.
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  • jenandcrisjenandcris member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I thought FI and I had it bad driving back and forth between CT and Boston/NH but RI to OR/WA is worse!

    I agree completely, completely with LauraT25. Completely. It's your wedding. Spend your time as YOU see fit. If you don't want to give your mom some power over your wedding... then obviously, you need to do it yourself (or hire a WC!).
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  • brittibearbrittibear
    First Comment
    I am doing this now. My FI and I go to school in Louisiana but we are getting married in IL. This is made even more difficult by the fact my family is from CA so I can't count on my mother, whose taste I know and like, to help pick things. I have had my FI's parents looking at some venues, but I hired a wedding coordinator. She has been a lifesaver and some of them aren't even that expensive. My WC took pictures of venues and emailed them to me so I could have only a few to visit when I went to IL. Most vendors will communicate with you via email and are very helpful if you tell them upfront you are from out of state. My photographer even was willing to video chat on Skype so I could see the hardcopies of the albums she put together. You may not want to miss your spring break trip and that is a tough one, but I am not sure it would be easy to avoid. I've spent all my breaks in IL since we got engaged a year ago, but if you delegate and get a reliable person to take pics for you you might be able to avoid that. Good luck!
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