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Am I being ridiculous?

Trae021Trae021
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
So my mother came to my house earlier this week excited to show me a dress that she wants to wear for my wedding, it's a beautiful suit and it was a great price...the only problem is, it's the same color as my wedding dress which is champaign/gold.  I pointed out that it was the same color and my mom got offened and told me I'm putting too many restrictions on her outfit.  My only restrictions are not to be in my wedding dress color or be in polka dot because that is my bridesmaid dress pattern.  How can I ask her to pick a different outfit or change the color of the existing suit without causing more chaos?  Am I just being ridiculous and blowing this out of proportion?  Should just ignore this because there are bigger things to worry about?
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Re: Am I being ridiculous?

  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a329528e-9413-425e-b353-7a6ea97f92bePost:ea452db7-2ee1-4e44-b016-f6d19513d2d2">Am I being ridiculous?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my mother came to my house earlier this week excited to show me a dress that she wants to wear for my wedding, it's a beautiful suit and it was a great price...the only problem is, it's the same color as my wedding dress which is champaign/gold.  I pointed out that it was the same color and my mom got offened and told me I'm putting too many restrictions on her outfit.  My only restrictions are not to be in my wedding dress color or be in polka dot because that is my bridesmaid dress pattern.  How can I ask her to pick a different outfit or change the color of the existing suit without causing more chaos?  Am I just being ridiculous and blowing this out of proportion?  Should just ignore this because there are bigger things to worry about?
    Posted by Trae021[/QUOTE]
    Honestly, yes I think you're blowing this out of proportion.  I promise you that no one will confuse her for the bride or a bridesmaid, regardless of what she is wearing.  If she loves it and feels good in it, isn't that what you want? 

    My grandmother also found a champagne outfit for my sister's wedding and SHE was the one who didn't want to buy it because she was worried about the colour.  My sister had to talk her into it because she knew that she loved it and felt good in it.  She wore it to the wedding and she did look happy and fabulous and my sister and her husband are still married, the sky didn't fall down, and even the pictures look great.

    You really are worrying for nothing.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I can understand your reluctance, but really, is this battle worth it?  People are going to know that you're the bride, and that your mom's your mom.

    You need to decide which fights are worth having.  If you decide that this one is, then okay.  It wouldn't be to me.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • Trae021Trae021
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Okay then I'll forget about it.  It's not like I was worried about people getting her confused with someone else or anything like that.  It's just mom mom has even said that when we went to other people's weddings that the mother of the bride should not be wearing the same color as the bride because it's tacky, I just don't want people saying anything about her.  I just needed a second opinion, issue resolved.

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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Usually if you have to ask internet strangers if you are being ridiculous, then the answer is yes.

    Glad you saw the light.
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I understand your concerns and think it's weird that she's going against what she normally says, but since she's already bought the dress, I don't see the point in fighting over it.  I'm glad that you're willing to take the high road.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, this sort of thing is only a "problem" if she actually wears a wedding dress.  And even then, I'd think the story would be well worth it.  Have a sense of humor about these things.  
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  • hopefaithnlove16hopefaithnlove16 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree that there are other things to worry about, and that if she feels comfortable in that dress then it shouldn't be an issue. But, I also agree that it's tacky for the mother of the bride to wear the same color. It would be weird if it was white....so i think it's still weird. I understand your concern, but if she is really that upset about I would just leave it be and remember that your wedding day is about you and your husband-to-be, and that's what people should be focusing on! good luck!
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  • amagwireamagwire
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry, she won't steal the show!
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's tacky for someone else to wear white; my grandmother, two aunts, one cousin and my DH's cousin all wore short white/off-white dresses to the wedding.  I didn't think it looked tacky and I didn't feel upstaged.  It's such a silly thing.  

    Even if it was tacky, you can't control what other people do.  You can only control what you do.  
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  • cukimerrydollcukimerrydoll member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a329528e-9413-425e-b353-7a6ea97f92bePost:aeb7b343-f5a6-4eb5-ab9d-8e7f277375eb">Re: Am I being ridiculous?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay then I'll forget about it.  It's not like I was worried about people getting her confused with someone else or anything like that.  It's just mom mom has even said that when we went to other people's weddings that the mother of the bride should not be wearing the same color as the bride because it's tacky, I just don't want people saying anything about her.  I just needed a second opinion, issue resolved.
    Posted by Trae021[/QUOTE]
    Honestly, I think you being a bit overbearing.  But if she thinks it's tacky and wants to do it anyway, maybe point that out.  She might see the pictures later and regret her decision.
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  • JHS16JHS16 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My mom choose a champagne color dress too, at least we won't clash!  

    But seriously, I understand your concern.   If any guests notice it and think it's tacky, they are just being petty.  
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  • swim1011swim1011
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm mildly annoyed my mom picked a white dress, but like PPs said, you're the bride.  no one will confuse you two at all.  I didn't say anything to my mom, however, bc I realized it just didn't matter that much.  I'm glad you realized that, too.  :) 
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  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    It is considered rude to wear white to a wedding, so I think your mother is being rude here, but its probably not worth the fight
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  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    don't worry...nobody is going to mistake your mother for the bride!

    leave her alone...she's wearing a suit, not a wedding gown.
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  • ChrisChelsea10/08ChrisChelsea10/08 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If she already bought it than it's fine. But if it was my mother I would make her get a different one, I would actually buy her a different color. She likes to be center of attenion and make things about her. Thats why she's wearing colbalt blue.
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  • swim1011swim1011
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Although, I forgot to mention- my mom DID want to try on some wedding gowns.  But, it was because she is plus sized and they didn't carry the styles in the size she needed.  She was looking for something with lace.  Thankgoodness, we didn't find anything.  I definitely would have put my foot down on her wearing a wedding dress as well.
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  • j_harris7j_harris7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I guess I'm the only other one who would have been unhappy about that.
    I mean, maybe you are blowing it out of proportion, but it's your day and if you think it could be distracting from attention you want, then who cares if people think you're being ridiculous.
    If you try to get over it and can, then great. But if it really bugs you, I think it's better to say something now than to keep worrying about it.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    jharris, if you're so insecure that the thought of someone else wearing white and taking away attention from you (it won't) is stressing you out, then its' time to take a step back, look at it objectively, have a glass of wine, and realize that it's too silly to waste another second of your time thinking about.  
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  • shoegal715shoegal715
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you are being a bit ridiculous. 
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  • RikkiD16RikkiD16 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you are blowing it out of proportion. I just think you are not seeing the whole picture. I can understand your feelings about you and she in the same color. However, I honestly don't think anyone will comment negatively on the issue. In fact most guest may like the idea of you and your Mom being in the same color. Besides...no one will out shine the bride. Even if everyone in the room had on the same color. Don't worry about it....everything will be beautiful.Smile
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  • karenwjackmkarenwjackm member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well said, Rikki, you put it very kindly. and I'm sure every last one of you on here has had at least one irrational moment in the midst of wedding planning, have a little compassion.
    As my fiance is fond of saying, "Just Relax....."
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  • EStar73EStar73 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would say that if your mom knew the color of your dress before she bought hers then it is a bit rude of her. However in the grand scheme of things it's not worth fighting over. She should know what people might say about her if she matches you and if she doesn't care then you shouldn't either. But I do understand why it would bug you, it would bug me too.
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  • kee80kee80 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a329528e-9413-425e-b353-7a6ea97f92bePost:deb6dd3d-47f4-44a0-a2fd-75a240fe4a4b">Re: Am I being ridiculous?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Usually if you have to ask internet strangers if you are being ridiculous, then the answer is yes. Glad you saw the light.
    Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

    Good lord, all she asked for was a second opinion.  Lighten up.
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  • AlmostMrs.MunozAlmostMrs.Munoz member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a329528e-9413-425e-b353-7a6ea97f92bePost:04db5978-ab82-4b41-bf36-468aadaf28fd">Re: Am I being ridiculous?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well said, Rikki, you put it very kindly. and I'm sure every last one of you on here has had at least one irrational moment in the midst of wedding planning, have a little compassion.
    Posted by karenwjackm[/QUOTE]

    Completely agree.
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  • hopefaithnlove16hopefaithnlove16 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well said, Rikki, you put it very kindly. and I'm sure every last one of you on here has had at least one irrational moment in the midst of wedding planning, have a little compassion.
    Posted by karenwjackm
    I agree too. well said!
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  • JLBSquaredJLBSquared
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I get it.. it is irritating (I mean come on its your day let you have 1 color!!!)  But.. it's a big day to your mother,too, and if she feels amazing let her have it... especially since it's a pant suit (not a dress).




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  • Maria222Maria222
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No.  I am a MOB and I will respect my daughters wishes.  We have not gotten to that stage yet and knowing her she will not give me restrictions.  That being said I would not wear her color or her bridesmaids color and hopefully the MOG and I will coordinate somewhat.
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  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No, you are not being ridiculous. You have a right to be annoyed by this because it IS rude of her. Yes, it's not the end of the world but it seems like you understand that. This is another one of those innocent questions that gets people torn to shreds for no reason whatsoever. 

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  • cch923cch923
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's a bit weird.
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  • Chelsey85Chelsey85 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it is really strange for your mom to wear the same color as you!  I would of told my mom the same thing and asked her if we could go shopping together for her dress.  My mom picked out her dress and purchased it but has now asked me about thirty times if I like it and if it works after I already told her yes. 
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