Does my little sister have to a bridesmaid?

stephdonjon · May 2010

So I'm in the process of selecting my bridesmaids. I know for a fact I want my best friend, and probably my other close friend (they both know each other very well, so that works well). As for my third (my fiance and I agreed 3 would be a good number of attendants for each of us) I'm stuck. I've read it's a safe idea to choose family, but my sister is 12, and she'll only be 13 by the wedding date. And would I be obligated to make her my Maid of Honor? I'd like it to my best friend, but will I get chastized for "choosing friends over family?" I can't help but feel like my sister would even feel awkward being up there with my two friends who know each really well, too. Thoughts?

stina93446 · May 2010

Wait until at least August to worry about this. It's too early. Yes, your sis CAN be a bm or a MOH but she doesn't have to be in your bp at all if you don't want her to. Her age has nothing to do with it. How hard it is to walk down an aisle in a dress and smile? Pick who you want for the MOH, but don't ask until later as it is too early.

blackfire5th · May 2010

Ditto Stina. Just to add, you do not need even parties. If you only want your two friends and your FI wants 3 gm, that is fine.

mbcdefg · May 2010

Don't set a number and then pick and choose people to fill that number. Only ask the people that YOU want. Even if you have 2 or 4 BMs and your FI has 3 guys. Uneven numbers are fine. It would be cruel to exclude your sister or a friend just because you've already filled the 3 slots with other people.

No, your sister does not need to be MOH, or even a bridesmaid, if you don't want her to. The MOH is supposed to be your closest friend. Not the person who will throw the best parties or do the most work for you. A young teen can still be MOH if she is your closest friend ... she is not automatically disqualified if she's very young or if she can't attend a bachelorette party.

Pick your closest friend. If you can't decide between two people, have two Maids of Honor.

As to whether your family will get upset if your sister is not included ... that's something that we can't tell you. I know that MY family would've been very angry if my sister wasn't included, but some families are not like that.

And as to whether or not your sister will feel awkward to be included, or upset to be excluded ... that's something else that we can't tell you. If I were in your shoes, I would ask her if she'd like to be a bridesmaid and then take it from there. It's one day, and all she has to do is get the dress and participate in the ceremony. She doesn't have to throw parties for you or help plan the wedding. If it'll make her and your folks happy to include her, I would at least ask her. She can always turn it down if she would rather not participate.

stephdonjon · May 2010

Stina - yeah, I know I've got plenty of time. It's just something I had been wondering. And I agree, it's not hard to stand there in a dress. I just wanted to make sure being a bridesmaid didn't require them to do more.

mbcdefg - I'll definitely talk to her about it. See what she thinks.

trix1223 · May 2010

ditto malphabet. It's great advice.

I imagine that your little sister would adore being a BM. My DIL had her 11 year old cousin as a BM, and she loved it!

Does my little sister have to a bridesmaid?

Re: Does my little sister have to a bridesmaid?

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