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Isn't this considered rude???

Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in May 2013 Weddings
I went out last night for a friends going away party .... Several people asked me about the wedding plans etc since we're not inviting everyone I've been trying to not bring it up. Well 2 friends were like "am I invited you have to invite me" ... I was kind of shocked I felt that was rude I would never say that to someone who was planning a wedding and I've had several friends get married some I've been invite and others not. I looked at them and all I said was well were working on the guest list and right now were focusing on family. These two people are not invited I didn't want to just say oh hey yeah No your invited but at the same time I felt pressured. Our guest is complete we have 6 more people than I wanted to begin with assuming everyone says yes! People will be let down and I'm guessing I will loose friendships but I can't just add people bc I feel bad. This is extremely expensive on top of the per person there is additional taxes we pay which is insane 22percent plus our state tax. I wish I had the money invite all my friends but I don't. I guess this was more a vent ..... Std are going out next month any ideas how I should be letting people down in as classy was as possible?
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Re: Isn't this considered rude???

  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I think you did the right thing by saying you're keeping it to close family, and that's all you need to say. It is rude for these people to ask if they're invited.
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  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
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    In Response to Re:Isn't this considered rude???:[QUOTE]I think you did the right thing by saying you're keeping it to close family, and that's all you need to say. It is rude for these people to ask if they're invited. Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

    I just feel bad bc some of our friends are invited and I feel once word is out who is and isn't invited it will end friendships. It obviously boils down to money and the way we went about inviting friends was people who we felt were more than friends, we have "friends" people who show up to events we host and then we have friends who call us regularly and are involved in our lives no matter if we're having a party or not. My MOH doesn't live in Florida I see her once maybe twice a yr but when she comes to visit her mother we pick up right where we left off. We talk randomly throughout the year but we know we're also busy school and work.
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    FI and I have 'friends' like that too and had to make a tough decision to cut some of them out. Unfortunately you can't control other peoples' behavior or feelings, you guys did what you had to do- and almost nobody can truly afford to invite everyone they'd like to their weddings. 

    If these people really want to celebrate with you, maybe they'll put together a shower for you guys or something? One of my coworkers at my second job just asked me the other day if she could put together a coworker shower :-)
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
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    Honestly, if they would get all upset because you didn't invite them to your wedding, then they're not really very good friends.  I've not been invited to some friend's weddings and that didn't change our relationship.  People are so rude.

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  • Sharpschruter22Sharpschruter22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    You handled yourself very well. Yes, they were incredibly rude to ask such a brazen question. Don't sweat it, just continue to handle yourself with class.
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  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_isnt-this-considered-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:a832fb6f-522b-4b0a-8b8e-395462c2a90ePost:506b9ee1-3ee0-46f8-aaa3-13cf17098d59">Re: Isn't this considered rude???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, if they would get all upset because you didn't invite them to your wedding, then <strong>they're not really very good friends.</strong>  I've not been invited to some friend's weddings and that didn't change our relationship.  People are so rude.
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]
     
    Some are not my "real friends" I'm learning but its kind of hard parting ways.

    I wasn't invited to a few friends weddings but I wasn't offended either I know there not cheap.
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  • MamaBear904MamaBear904 member
    First Comment
    Yes it was rude of them to ask. 

    You did a great job of responding to them. 

    And if they get all bent out of shape about it, then they're not true friends. 
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  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    We've had to deal with this as well.  I've even had people ask if an ex was invited.  No.  

    You handled yourself well.  People may be offended, but then it's their problem not yours.  Plus if they aren't mature enough to understand how expensive things are, then maybe they aren't someone who's a friend afterall.
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  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
    First Comment First Anniversary

    Thanks ladies ... It's nice to hear others have been having this issue.

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  • augureyaugurey
    First Comment
    I'm sorry that people are asking you if they are invited! Definitely rude, but you handled it very nicely.

    I've not been invited to everyone's wedding. It's never changed my relationship with them. It's just a fact. Not everybody can always be invited to someone's weddiing. Sometimes it is just impossible.


    (I had an ex send me a random text after not having spoken in a LONG time saying that I was probably engaged by now - I wasn't at the time - and asked if he could come to our wedding...)
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