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My Friend's Destination Wedding

justduckilyjustduckily member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
I am one of the bridesmaids in my friend's destination wedding ceremony.  Her and her husband got married last year, and are having the ceremony at the end of this month on their 1-year anniversary, because he just got back from his deployment in Afghanistan.  The week before, the bridal party is staying in a vacation house, and every couple is paying for part of it, which is a good idea.

Her MOH and I just got done finishing the bouquets for the BMs and MOH, along with the boutineers for groom and groomsmen.  They are fake flowers to save on cost.  Now, she could have had them done professionally (with fake flowers), but thought it would be fun for us to do them.  I thought all the other stuff for the wedding was paid for, but just found out there's no one to pay for the cake.  Her solution:  she told her MOH that we, her MOH and BMs, are in charge of making cupcakes for the wedding.  Home-made from scratch red velvet cupcakes to be made while we are all on this vacation that we paid for.

I understand that it's her day and all that, but I think she's demanding too much from us.  I definitely do not think it's right to make us bake her wedding cupcakes on a vacation that each of us paid for.  The remaining question is:  any suggestions on what to do?
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Re: My Friend's Destination Wedding

  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My first reaction is to tell her hell no, but you seem like you want to help her out. You're right though, you shouldn't do it at the cost of your vacation and I'm shocked she would demand you do something like that. I would offer to help her look for local bakeries to do cupcakes.
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  • hope1009hope1009
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    whoa, can you guys be my bridesmaids!! I wish I wouldn't even have a pinch of help, but alas, I am the nice bride who doesn't want to burden anyone.  Suggestions for you, how many people are coming? I agree with Butter, find a local bakery, even a local supermarket bakery may be able to offer great prices on cupcakes. I just had a fantastic slice of red velvet from the grocery store! You all have done so much aslready, she is really pushing the wish list. No where in the books does it say bridesmaid=personal servant. A bridesmaid is a person you choose because you love them, and you want everyone to know that too everything else is just a bonus but not an obligation.  You are the sweetest! She is planning on helping isn't she?  
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I made a wedding cake on short notice not that long ago...
    it SUCKS.

    Look, even if everythig goes well (and it may), there's a lot of pressure to make these things right...what happens if they're fine but, well, not pretty?  is she REALLY OK w/ the amature turnout you're going to give her?  (because I don't care how much you try, some of it may be crappy)
    And has she REALLY priced supplies?
    Because MIL and I spent over $300 on supplies for the wee cake we made for a wedding--by the time we bought fondant and supplies to bake with and ribbon and food coloring and frosting and the like?
    For that price?  if we would have had notice?  we could have gotten a wal-mart cake. 
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't do it.  But then, I also wouldn't attend a "DW" for somebody who is already married, so there's that.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friends-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:52254d74-c2b6-4812-a886-b034470d14b5Post:5636fbfa-2b6e-4a73-8853-92d14923ecfb">Re: My Friend's Destination Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't do it.  But then, I also wouldn't attend a "DW" for somebody who is already married, so there's that.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    Ditto. You lost me at this point.  Of course, it was tacky from the beginning, so why not keep making it more tacky...
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  • justduckilyjustduckily member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the suggestions everyone!  I just got off the phone with her MOH, and we decided once we get there, we're going to suggest heavily just getting sheet cakes.  For the amount of people that will be there, it would only be approx. $30.  Way less stress on everyone.

    As for the DW for her already being married, it's not uncommon for military couples to have the wedding in the courthouse, then reception when the person serving comes back.  This is so far my second that I've been to.  Plus, it's a DW for her bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the couple.  We've all been friends for a long time in OH, and her hubby got stationed in NC when he came back from Afghanistan.  They're now living in NC, so it's really close for them...

    But, I digress.  Thanks, knotties for the input. :)

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