Crazy stuff overheard at work

celticmyss · July 2012

I'm bored and procrastinating since I am one of the only people left at work. Tell me, what are some of the craziest things you have overheard at work?

There is a guy on my floor who I seriously think may have tourettes. Just now I heard him yelling "God damn you, you ignorant c0ck sucking son of a b!tch." This is hardly the first time I have heard such things. I am not sure if he is yelling at his computer, another person or at nothing at all.

We're in a professional environment and there are occasionally patients on the floor. I have no idea how he could get away with this if he didn't have a medical excuse. The annoying thing is that I have no idea who the guy is. I can't narrow the sound down to a certain office.

ElleB87 · July 2012

I heard that, at my old job (with my provincial government), a chick from finance was writing cheques to herself (she worked in accounts payable...FOR THE GOVERNMENT)...so instead of writing $200 to the hydro company, for example, she would write $200 to MrsWhateverHerNameWas. Here's the really effed up part...b*tch didn't get fired!!! Or disciplined!!! she was moved to another area of the finance dept...WTF?!

Nebb · July 2012

Oh another, a girl here is a pastors wife and one day she came out of the bathroom and looked sick and said "I think I just got pregnant", cause she "sat in something sticky on the toilet and didn't think it was pee". I coulda died.

brandichamberlain · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_crazy-stuff-overheard-at-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f7a9100d-0186-4424-8952-79a55aac39fePost:822a64bf-a4fd-4e12-a293-0c98799cb83f">Re: Crazy stuff overheard at work</a>:
[QUOTE]I overheard a former co-worker talking to someone on the phone after she got in a fender bender over her lunch break. "Yup, I got rear ended and this time it wasn't in the bedroom." <strong>Come to find out, she was talking to her Dad. I about threw up.
</strong>Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Gag.

brandichamberlain · July 2012

Someone I used to work with (who lived with her four daughters) was talking about how she stopped buying toilet paper and used wash cloths and then just washed them.

celticmyss · July 2012

Nebb - I knew you'd have some great contributions.

Elle - that's crazy that she didn't get fired. FH has a co-worker who has gotten 2 DUIs in a work vehicles and he hasn't been fired. They just don't let him drive anymore. It's crazy.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_crazy-stuff-overheard-at-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f7a9100d-0186-4424-8952-79a55aac39fePost:ffc0b07d-f0f1-4ebf-8471-98d6b7240859">Re:Crazy stuff overheard at work</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh another, a girl here is a pastors wife and one day she came out of the bathroom and looked sick and said "I think I just got pregnant", cause she "sat in something sticky on the toilet and didn't think it was pee". I coulda died.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Omg. <em>Yessss.</em>

gurrlballa10 · July 2012

This wasn't overheard, but my boss told me to "fuuuck off" before. I started laughing.

allisong23 · July 2012

My old boss couldn't find the escape key on three different occasions.

1) It is the FIRST key on his keyboard.
2) Who uses the escape key anyway?

He was later fired for a multitude of reasons, including hosting a cookout at his house and having it catered by the catering dept. where I worked, and billing it to our department without getting clearance. He also called my cell phone repeatedly on the day I brought Kieran home from the hospital after he was born to get the answer to a work-related question.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Nobody says much in this office but my co-worker must talk to a lot of really stupid fucking idiots. Someone just tried to call the phone in his office, but he is gone. It rang like six times. Then the person called again. And again.

Fucking hell, person. Leave a damn message

Nebb · July 2012

In Response to Re:Crazy stuff overheard at work:[QUOTE]Nobody says much in this office but my coworker must talk to a lot of really stupid fucking idiots.nbsp; Someone just tried to call the phone in his office, but he is gone.nbsp; It rang like six times.nbsp; Then the person called again.nbsp; And again.Fucking hell, person.nbsp; Leave a damn message Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
The sales guy who left who always pissed me off, he used to call my phone. If I didn't answer he would call the office and start trying other extensions until he got someone who would go find me so he could get me on the phone right that minute.

allisong23 · July 2012

The same old boss would call me on his phone rather than walk to my desk. His desk was about 10 feet from mine.

LesPaul · July 2012

During a staff meeting a CW made several comments about the wet spot in her bed that morning, and couldn't figure out why all of us were looking at her like this

Nebb · July 2012

In Response to Re:Crazy stuff overheard at work:[QUOTE]During a staff meeting a CW made several comments aboutnbsp;the wet spot in her bed that morning, and couldn't figure out why all of us were looking at her like thisnbsp; Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]
Um eww!

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

I have heard all of my co-workers ALL OF THEM cut their nails at work.

LesPaul · July 2012

Somebody is a hoverer and doesn't clean up after herself. Ick.

DodgersBride · July 2012

I hate speaker phone. It always cuts out then the person starts to yell because they think you can't hear them. My CFO's and controller's offices are about 15 steps away. They call each for every little thing on speaker phone. I can hear their entire conversations. They might as well not call and just yell across the department.

Now that I am dealing directly with sales more I email and call them a lot. I normally email then with question or concerns since it is easier to explain word for word and so that I can proof I spoke to them about what ever issue. I hate when they reply to my email and then call me to tell me the same thing.

I have a CW who lost a lot of weight and is in her like 2nd boot camp challenge. She has shown not only sales people, and VPs her before and after pictures in a two piece.

Girlie1030 · July 2012

I've got a guy with absolutely no filter and I've overheard him trashing our EVP, telling a story how his wife told 3 black men that there's a reason why their people were slaves and asking a hispanic coworker if his neighbors had asked him to mow their lawn yet. I have no fluckin clue how this guy still has a job or hasn't had the everlovinshit beat out of him yet.

maratea · July 2012

I think I've told this story before but at my old job, I walked into our single toilet bathroom that was a unisex, and there was a tube of lube on the counter next to the toilet. Omgwtfwhyyyyyyyyy?????

ket25 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_crazy-stuff-overheard-at-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f7a9100d-0186-4424-8952-79a55aac39fePost:7805f513-d770-441d-89ac-d5a2b80cb2f7">Re: Crazy stuff overheard at work</a>:
[QUOTE]I have heard all of my co-workers ALL OF THEM cut their nails at work.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

The guy who sits in the cube directly behind me does this ALL the time. I'm petrified one is going to fly over and hit me. Ewwww.

specialk84 · July 2012

When I worked at a really nice restaurant, one of the line cooks and the GM got into a fistfight in the parking lot. One of them had shorted the other on a coke deal.

Also, the sous chef gave me a very graphic description of why he can't do certain sex positions.

LesPaul · July 2012

OMG, Mara, why??? I would have had to quit that job.

SEWF · July 2012

I once heard a guy making a drug deal on his cell phone in the middle of my store. I clearly heard, "powder" "meet at QuikTrip" and "I'm with my sister, but she doesn't know. I saw the guy a few minutes later and he was walking out with his sister and she looked well put together. I wanted so badly to stop her and tell her NOT to take him to QuikTrip, but I was with another customer, so I couldn't.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

"How do I Google?"

"What's the delete key?" <---This was in response to my answer of "I press delete" when she asked me how I make the words disappear.

Duds, I could totally say that to my dad and we'd laugh about it. My mom, not so much.

daniellelmilczak · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_crazy-stuff-overheard-at-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f7a9100d-0186-4424-8952-79a55aac39fePost:bfcaf5aa-86d9-48ed-a035-79a816a007eb">Re: Crazy stuff overheard at work</a>:
[QUOTE]The same old boss would call me on his phone rather than walk to my desk. His desk was about 10 feet from mine.
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

This is what happens in my office all of the time.

My CW also regularly gives me the nitty gritty on her period/menopause.

tpender13 · July 2012

I work in a cube farm. Someone a row or two over was telling someone else "They've been blasting me for three days! And I told them NO!!!" Myself and a couple other people just cracked up. The lady was all embarassed. I still have no idea what they were really talking about.

tpender13 · July 2012

Oh, once when I was working a lunch shift at a restaurant, I was doing my end of shift money turnover with the GM in the office. Someone had called in sick for that night, and he was trying to talk me into picking up a shift. I said something like "I don't really want to, especially since it's a closing shift." He said "What if I take off your close?" Neither of us realized how that sounded until the book keeper on the other side of the office started giggling. My boss was SO embarassed, but I just thought it was really funny!

LesPaul · July 2012

Same CW was incredibly TMI about their efforts TTC and tracking her ovulation. We all know the exact day her son was conceived. And we also all know that it was the first time they'd had sex since their daughter was conceived.

Belle0720 · July 2012

I work for a very conservative major corporation....one morning at like 6AM I was walking by an office of one of the managers, his door was open and he very loudly said 'Hey f*ck face!', I'm not sure why I thought he would be talking to me but I was so startled and then turned to realize he was actually on the phone, thank God...haha but that's what I hear in my head everytime I see him now.

Belle0720 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_crazy-stuff-overheard-at-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f7a9100d-0186-4424-8952-79a55aac39fePost:7805f513-d770-441d-89ac-d5a2b80cb2f7">Re: Crazy stuff overheard at work</a>:
[QUOTE]I have heard all of my co-workers ALL OF THEM cut their nails at work.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Ugh, my coworker two cubes down from me does this alll of the time, it drives me nuts!

eguzman2323 · July 2012

One of my co-workers openly called everyones attention to inform us that her gynecology appointment had gone great and she no longer had a yeast infection... Seriously, why would you say that??!!

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