charity donations in lieu of favors

Re: charity donations in lieu of favors

• trix1223 member

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  This is a pretty hotly debated topic.  Just to give you some food for thought as you think about this plan, please see the sticky at the top of this board.  Then also check out some of these threads that deal with the charity donation issue.  But good luck to you.
  
  
  http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_charity-donations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:26fa9ee4-6301-4700-a6fe-8e05270d749fPost:8a35bcd9-4546-4473-b945-d57fb16bb600
  
  http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_carity-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:a8add106-428b-4be1-a24e-552775c0a15bPost:304e58d6-add5-44dd-a216-b2f9df05a9f3
  
  
  http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-mean-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:3898d691-a8c8-4093-ae31-1043af563195Post:a89f7b4d-770b-48fc-8e13-dc32db0b5f25
  
  http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-lieu-of-favors-ammount?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:5a4ed765-dd8d-42cb-b488-dc53097a89d8Post:fc518e7b-bd7f-44e2-a601-1ccb531c6b73
  
  

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

  Report0 Reply
• unplainjane member

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  i'm sorry to hear about your family losses. and i understand you would want to do something special for them. but this idea is not a favor. if you want to do this i suggest you have a nice framed note on a table somewhere that states the donation and encourage others to as well. if it's an issue with budget you don't have to do favors at all but certainly having a donation letter at all of the place settings is not a favor.

  Report0 Reply
• Mrs.B6302007 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  No need to waste paper by printing up one "look what we did" announcement for everyone.   DO the donation by all means but keep your wedding out of it.  It's not polite to the guests to tell them what they're NOT getting.  Just don't mention it at all because favors are not expected.

  The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
  "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
  06.10.10
  BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Mrs.B6302007 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Also, I think there's a sticky on the board about this.  There's a lot more advice in there. 
  
  ETA: Here ya' go.
  
   http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_thinking-of-making-donation-read-this-first

  The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
  "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
  06.10.10
  BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• CassieeK

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm sorry for your losses, but Trix and Mrs. B have provided some great info on reasons this isn't a good idea. You should really reconsider.

  

  Report0 Reply
• srfgirlie5 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I recently attended my cousins wedding where they did the donation instead of favors. They picked two charities one for our grandpa and one for the brides grandpa. Each had passed from disease and so they picked charities that were designated for the disease they had.
  
  It was done very tastefully with a picture frame set on each table with the charity they donated to. Something like "in lieu of favors the bride and groom chose to make a charitable donation in honor (grandpa)'s memory to (charity) and in (grandpa)'s memorty to (charity)." I thought it was very thoughtful and I didn't know of anyone who thought otherwise.
  
  I think people can get a little too picky about things like this. There's some very strong opinions out there on this. I think as long as you don't set up a shrine or something that sticks out like a sore thumb and morbid you should just do what you want to do but just do it tastefully. I wanted to have my grandpa and my fiances grandma there in someway so I thought about doing the charitable donation but I decided on taking wedding photos of our parents and grandparents and displaying them.

  Report0 Reply
• mnp13

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  5) Realize that this is a controversial topic in the real world too, not just on the knot.  So, there's a good chance that at least 1 person who attends your wedding will secretly sideye your choice to do this.  If you can live with that, then go for it.  But do not convince yourself that the ladies on here who oppose are just bitter evil hags and YOUR friends and family are all better than them and would never see it as a bad thing.  That's naive and incorrect.

  
  

  Now that I've been knee deep in wedding planning for 6 months, I want to add that no matter WHAT you do someone will not approve, someone will complain, someone will tell you it's "wrong."

  
  

  Personally, I'm ambivilant on this topic. If you want to give a donation to charity for the money would would have spent on favors that's great. My cousin did this, and there was a small sign on each table that let guests know. I didn't think that was "look how awesome we are" I think it's letting guests know what was done, and why there weren't favors for people to take. 

  

  Report0 Reply