Sharing a home

Re: Sharing a home

• katanne9 member

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  Lots of patience and compromise. And don't try to get it (unpacking) all sorted out at once or you'll end the day being angry at each other for the stupidest reasons.
  
  The hardest thing for us was putting our things together and feeling at home. We each have a designated room (his is the office, mine is the sunroom) where we keep our belongings that the other doesn't like. (Ex. all my remaining "girlie" items decorate the sunroom, all his stuff decorates the office) so the rest of the house is a place we both feel represented in.
  
  The surprise of living together.... meshing your internal clocks and having to change habits to accomodate each other. The first 3 weeks were kind of exhausting bc you are not in your regular internal schedule, but once we got used to it, it was just fine.).
  
  Good luck!
  

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• iamjoesgurl member

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_sharing-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:b10268a8-92c9-4a5c-95bf-7707581d18c9Post:0bec576d-0ef0-40bb-9685-890cee6737fc">Sharing a home</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hi all! I haven't posted in quite a while, but as you can se our wedding day is fast approaching!  I have been thinking alot the last few days about when Ben and I are finally living in the same home. He will be moving into my place, then when the lease is up (a month after the wedding) we will move into a larger place. Any suggestions on how to make the day to day stuff of living together go smoothly? Have any issues come up with any of you that are already married and living together that surprised you? I am 40 and Ben is 37 -- so we have had plenty of time to get setin our ways :) Thanks for the input!
  Posted by Darciella[/QUOTE]
  
  I was 38 and DH was almost 34 when we got married so I think we have a lot in common!  I had a house so he moved into my house (OUR house now).  Prior to moving in, he lived about 6 hours away so we had a LDR right up to the wedding.  I thought it would be very difficult to adjust since we are also set in our ways, but it has been wonderful.  We communicate a lot and make sure not to let things go unsaid.  Much like katanne, we each have our space.  We converted the unfinished basement into a finished man cave just before we got married.  He picked out the carpet, paint and decorated the space so that is his space.  Other than reminding him to occasionally vacuum and clean the bathroom down there, I mostly just leave him alone and let it be as messy as he wants it to be.  The rest of the house is decorated by me. 
  
  We each have our own bathrooms which I think is the real key to a happy marriage!  It is so much easier to not get in each others' ways and since we both can leave clutter around, that doesn't bother each other either since we don't have to deal with the other person's stuff.
  
  One piece of feedback I got from a friend that I thought was great was not to let the little stuff bother you.  She said that she got so frustrated that her DH put his clothes in the wash inside out and then she always had to turn them right side out when folding.  It really bothered her.  Then one day she'd had enough and decided to just fold the clothes inside out.  He never said anything - it didn't bother him at all to turn his clothes right side out.  Once she stopped doing it, a huge weight was lifted from her.  It is a stupid little thing, but things have come up like that for us and I just find a way to adapt.  Example - he used to throw wet towels on the floor and I would go in, pick them up and put them on the towel rack.  It bugged me.  Finally one day I said, "When you leave the towels on the floor, they have a tendency to get mildew-y.  Could you hang them over the shower when you are done showering so that they can dry out?"  Once I asked him, he has never again left them on the floor. 
  
  Wow - I could go on and on.  I hope this helps.  It is an adjustment but after all those years living on my own, I am so happy to come home at the end of the day and have him there to spend time with.  I wish you all the best in your marriage.  Have a wonderful wedding day! 

  
  

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