Invitation Nightmare....

CMM724 · July 2010

So my parents want only their name on the invite as they are paying for most everything. FILs are paying for rehersal dinner. However, FILs gave us a nice $$ gift to use as we like, we are using some of it to help pay for the wedding. In doing so does that mean my FILs are paying too?

Future hubby says it does as does FMIL - she said she will be hurt to not be on the invite. But my parents are going to be hurt if FILs are on it too. This is the leading cause of my stress right now....

To make everyone happy I would like to write:
Bride's parents names
invite to my name
to
grooms name
son of his parents name

Is that reasonalble?? Help!

FutureMrsTR · July 2010

Together with their parents
CMM & Mr. CMM
request the honor of your presence, blah blah blah

Otherwise, I would include the FILs and your parents should stop being babies. If the FIL's gave money, too then there is no reason they shouldn't be included if it's important to them.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

I like your idea.

Although I will say - I kinda think it's rude that your folks want to be the only set of parents listed on the invite. Even though they're paying for most of it, it's a celebration of the love between two people - and just because one set of parents is contributing monetarily more than the other, it doesn't negate the other set's presence or participation or anything.

I've never seen a wedding invite that excluded one set of parents. They usually include both sets of parents' names OR the invite just says "Together with their parents, Bride and Groom invite you..." something like that.

But really, I like your idea. It includes both sets of parents while at the same time giving your folks the attention and recognition they apparently want (since they'd be listed at the top).

parker624 · July 2010

they way you suggested means that your parents are hosting the wedding, which is what they want, but of course future parents names should be on the invitation--- phrase it to your parents this way: what happens when one of Future family's friends or relatives receives the invitation and aren't exactly sure who the wedding is for (meaning they are close with the parents but not with their son). It would be obvious to them if the parents' names were on the invitation. as "son of Mr. and Mrs. ________

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Honestly I think your parents are being ridiculous. Your FILs are paying for the RD, which is usually a nice chunk of change, and they gave you money to put towards the wedding. Maybe it's not as much as your parents gave, but they are still contributing and have every right to be on the invitation.

We didn't put our parents on the invite, but if we had, both sets would have been included regardless of who helped pay for what.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

I'm do it like you have it. The wording you have makes it look like it's hosted by your parents, but still mentions your FI's parents. That should make everyone happy, right?

angie74 · July 2010

I think it's rude when people adamantly don't want the other parent's name on the invite. it should be a "we're all super excited to be celebrating our kids getting hitched! woohoo!" sort of invite, not a "we're paying" thing.

I say either "together with their parents" or talk to your parents about including them.

mmealy · July 2010

My invitations have only my parents names on them. We couldn't get the wording we wanted on the invitation we liked so we just dealt with it.

I would do your idea. I like it.

squirrly · July 2010

The wording you suggested is totally acceptable, but it doesn't mean that your FILs are hosting - just that they're the parents of your FI. Your parents are being unreasonable. I would not appease them and upset the FILs. Either find some middle ground, or stand up to your parents.

bridgetlb · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-nightmare-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9bc5605-d942-462b-bc13-026bcca98dc6Post:d39f279d-e27a-4482-9a3c-a37ecd5ef072">Re: Invitation Nightmare....</a>:
[QUOTE]Together with their parents CMM & Mr. CMM request the honor of your presence, blah blah blah Otherwise, I would include the FILs and your parents should stop being babies. If the FIL's gave money, too then there is no reason they shouldn't be included if it's important to them.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

this is what we did.

jnic0319 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-nightmare-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9bc5605-d942-462b-bc13-026bcca98dc6Post:a1d59628-2a66-48ab-93c4-df82d4a489db">Invitation Nightmare....</a>:
[QUOTE]So my parents want only their name on the invite as they are paying for most everything. FILs are paying for rehersal dinner. However, FILs gave us a nice $$ gift to use as we like, we are using some of it to help pay for the wedding. In doing so does that mean my FILs are paying too? Future hubby says it does as does FMIL - she said she will be hurt to not be on the invite. But my parents are going to be hurt if FILs are on it too. This is the leading cause of my stress right now.... To make everyone happy I would like to write:
<strong>Bride's parents names
invite to
my name
to
grooms name
son of his parents name
</strong>
s that reasonalble?? Help!
Posted by CMM724[/QUOTE]

I was in the same situation, this is what I did. It still looks like your parents are hosting, but your FMIL gets her recognition.

stacy&tige · July 2010

Wow...no offense but that's kind of rude on your parents part. What's the big deal with including the FILs on the invite?

My invites were worded like this:

(brides parents)
invite you to the marriage of
(bride)
to
(groom)
son of (groom's parents)

To me this implies the brides parents are the ones hosting the wedding.

Invitation Nightmare....

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