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Wedding gift lost, do I replace it?

ootmother2ootmother2 member
Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I attended a wedding in Boston over Memorial Day weekend, M's sister in law, I posted here about it, great wedding!

I gave the couple $200 and put the 2 $100 bills in a nice card and put it in the card box at the reception whch was at the front desk of the country club.  There was someone at the desk beside the box so I never gave it a second thought as evieryone was sticking their cards in there

A month later, I got a thank you note  "Thank you so much for making the trip for our wedding.  It was wonderful to see you, etc  She didn't mention the cash so I privately asked her mom the next time we spoke if she knew what I had given as a gift  She said not but she would follow up on it

The couple spent the entire summer here in NYC and never heard a word from them until just now when I got a Christmas email from them.  Added on was "we asked at the club about your card but they didn't know anything"

NOW?  It's 6 months later and they didn't get a gift from me apparently

Should I give them another gift? ( I did give them a shower gift but it only cost about $50)
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Re: Wedding gift lost, do I replace it?

  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think this is a definite "If you want to"
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  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I wouldn't give them another one.
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  • ricksangricksang member
    10000 Comments Combo Breaker
    How close are you to this couple? It is sad that their card got stolen/misplaced but thems the breaks.

    Hope you are getting around better OOT!
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  • ggmaeggmae member
    5000 Comments
    No way..at least not another $200. It's not your fault that it was lost/stolen.

    If you are close to the couple, then maybe something small (like a GC to a restaurant) if you really want to, but I wouldn't do the $200 all over again.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    The bride is my daughter's sister in law if that matters

    I just don't understand why she waited so long after I asked about it
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  • ricksangricksang member
    10000 Comments Combo Breaker
    That was kind of douchy of them. Maybe do what GG said and get them a GC. I would not give them 200 again. That ship has sailed.
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  • connie0000connie0000
    10 Comments
    no.
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  • ThePinkSuperheroThePinkSuperhero
    1000 Comments
    Eh, I wouldn't.
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    Are you 100% sure you signed the card?

    But I would probably just give a very small gift & say sorry about the wedding card. Also if you put it in the card box, I bet other gifts were stolen too. The couple  should really look into this b/c I bet they are out a lot.

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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-gift-lost-replace?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d360e96-76d4-4153-9787-a0c2ac8c5d6fPost:4d397cc2-d8ec-4ce5-b904-369c5cef2096">Re: Wedding gift lost, do I replace it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you 100% sure you signed the card? But I would probably just give a very small gift & say sorry about the wedding card. Also if you put it in the card box, I bet other gifts were stolen too. The couple  should really look into this b/c I bet they are out a lot.
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]


    Yes, I know I signed it because I wrote a rather long note to them inside the card

    The reception was at her MIL's country club so I think it would have been more likely to follow up on this months ago

    okay, gift card it will be
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  • squirrlysquirrly member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Maybe they were embarassed to mention it, because they didn't want you to feel obligated to give another gift.  At least, that's the way I'd feel in their shoes.

    Up to you.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Nope.

    A few years ago, I wrote a $100 check to the daughter of a friend for her wedding.  After 11 months, I asked the mother to encourage her daughter to cash the check.  A month later, she DID, and sent a note to me that she had used the money as partial funding for their listing in the social registry.  That's really not what was intended on my end...
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I don't think I'd give them another gift. You did attempt to give them a gift and it's not your fault (or apparently theirs) that they didn't get it.

    But to me, that's the single best reason to write checks rather than giving actual cash.
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