Name change?

paintgirl · January 2010

Hey gang! I was going to set this up as a poll but find those annoying. Plus then you don't get as much wit.

Are you taking your FI's name once married? Hyphenating? Something else? My BF and I discussed this tonight. I think he was surprised that I'd take his name (although professionally I'd have to keep my maiden name for awhile, just to get people used to it!).

K2snowbunny · January 2010

I am changing my name. I am kinda sad to let go of my old name but I am excited to be taking F's last name.

katanne9 · January 2010

Changing it to his. Never had a second thought about it.

Plus, my name sounds super cute with his last name. My maiden name - eh.

I'm going to a much more common last name. I've never met anyone with my last name that I'm not related to. So it will be nice to have to stop spelling it out after all these years.

Puffin_ · January 2010

i can't wait to change my name i know a lot of girls who hate the idea but i have zero attachment to mine because i was adopted so it wasn't evne mine from the get to

MeganFace · January 2010

This is a tough one for me, because I've always felt very attached to my last name. It's literally unique--my grandfather made it up becuase our original Finnish last name was fairly unpronounceable. I've also established a professional reputation that I'd worry about.

Then again I wouldn't want there to be inevitable confusion with any potential kiddos. So I think I would just change my middle name to the maiden name. Then my middle initial would get to be "W.", and I could insist on everyone calling me Dubya and break out my really bad Bush impressions. Win-win.

Ana_2985 · January 2010

Assuming I successfully complete a doctoral program, I think I will keep my name because all of the work I've already done will be under that name. Plus I like it better. But unofficially I'm sure I'll go by "Mrs. Fi's name".

Bec20 · January 2010

I plan on making my maiden name either a second middle name.

MidniteRae · January 2010

I will be taking his last name. I haven't decided if I would keep using my last name for my writing or not.

desertsun · January 2010

I'm planning to take his last name.

I'm also considering legally changing my first name. I always go by a nickname and always have, and it would be nice not to have to sign things with one name and have to tell people 20 times to call me something else. It might make things tricky at work for a while if I got a whole new email address, but whatevs. People would just have to adapt. I don't think it should be a huge deal...it might actually simplify b/c people never know who I am b/c I come up in email with my full first instead of nickname. (Not a whole lot of face to face in my department).

jeanacorina · January 2010

I'm dropping the maiden name altogether and going with FI's name. My first and last name will be a mile long, but they'll have a really nice rhythm. They kinda rhyme a little. It's neat.

I've thought about it, and just don't see any reason NOT to change it. I have no professional reputation or anything, and I like the idea of taking FI's name. I think it's romantic.

Although, to be a smarty pants I told him we should trade names, he's take mine and I'd take his. He rolled his eyes.

zipis1 · January 2010

I won't be taking his name when we get around to the marriage thing. I just don't see any reason to do it and get stuck on the whole, "Why should I change mine but he not change his?" thing and it bugs me. At the absolute most we would both change our names to something completely new, but after talking about it quite a bit it sounds like we're going to be sticking with our own last names.

Though I will say that I would be STOKED if he took mine. ;P

emmyroo · January 2010

I know I'll definitely take his last name, but I do really like my maiden name simply because of my family. My dad only had brothers, so when we all get together, it's kind of fun because we all have the same last name. I'll probably be the first to get married, and then be the first to not share our name! I may make my maiden name a second middle, but that would make my name really long. Also, both my first and last names are so common. If I took his name, I'm pretty sure I'd be the only one with that name and I really like that idea. Like the others, I also think my name with his last name is really cute

PsyDet 2155 · January 2010

I'll use my maiden name professionally and go by my married name socially.

**Mutley** · January 2010

I took his name. It was never an issue for me. I know it is a personal decision but I just don't understand what you do when you have kids. I always feel bad for kids with hyphenated names (and what happens if that child goes on to marry another hyphenated one?) As a teacher, it is confusing when everyone in the family has different names. I think that having the same last name unifies a family.

To play devil's advocate for those who keep their names for family reasons...
How do you think you got your last name? Several women before you gave up their last names. Why don't you want to pass on your husband's family's last name? Why is his history less important?

On the other side, I understand why women keep it professionally. I also understand when a name is going to die out. In that case, I would try to convince my husband to take my name, so that we could have a common family name.

KD+BC · January 2010

I will be taking FI's name. I love my last name and considered hyphenating for about a minute but the names sound AWFUL together and it would be really long. I want us to have the same last name and I want the two of us and our children to all have the same name. It's funny because my co-workers are giving me a lot of crap about it. They asked what I would do if my students called me by my maiden name. I told them I would let students who had me as Miss ____ call me that and just introduce myself to new students and Mrs. _____. It's not that complicated, people have done it forever!

PaigeMcC · January 2010

BF and I talked about this the other day. He was really surprised that I wanted to take his name b/c I've already got a professional reputation with my last name. But I figure once it happens I just send out some e-mails and let people know that I'll be switching. I really feel like it's important to carry on his last name b/c he's the only male on his side of the family...and it's a cool Dutch name that will make me even more unique!haha

Hazel_B · January 2010

I'd love to keep my name because my last name is dying out within my family...doing our family history from my great great grandparents who came over from Scotland in 1850 and had 10 children, of all the descendants from then on we have a grand total of 2 boys that will be able to carry on the family name in my generation. It's a little sad.

That being said I also couldn't hyphenate my name because it happens to be the full name of a current CNN reporter and that bothers me.

My BF is very family oriented so my guess is he'd want me to take his. I guess I have a lot of thinking to do when the time comes.

oceana919 · January 2010

Legally and personally, I'm taking FI's last name, but professionally, I'm hyphenating.
By the time we get married, I'll hopefully have at least 1-2 publications in review or published, under my maiden name, not to mention all the research I've done in the last 5 years is under my maiden name. Sure, I could just keep my maiden name only and not hyphenate, but I'm proud to have his name and want it attached to mine. Also, given that we work in the same field and in the same research specialty, there's a distinct possibility that we may do research together, so it would be neat to see Dr. FI and Dr. Oceana-FI on a paper together.

PaigeMcC · January 2010

Oceana- that would be pretty cool! Married couples that work on research together are cute (yeah that's right - I used cute in reference to science-y stuff!lol)

paintgirl · January 2010

I asked because my last name dies with me. My dad had all girls. His siblings had no children. I am the last unmarried female. And frankly, it's a cool name. And my business includes the name. But I do want to take my BF's name, so I will keep my maiden name professionally until people make the adjustment, then I'll drop my maiden name. I have a fairly unique first name and I'm a young woman in a middle-aged or older male industry, so I'll still be recognizable.

Ana_2985 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:644fb354-6f33-4652-b317-2439917ad349Post:97323da6-61a3-49de-8002-09298336c571">Re: Name change?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, given that we work in the same field and in the same research specialty, there's a distinct possibility that we may do research together, so it would be neat to see Dr. FI and Dr. Oceana-FI on a paper together. :)
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

It's the same with my FI and I also!

ekathleen684 · January 2010

I've never really though about not taking his last name. I feel bad because my last name will be phased out after my generation and I think it was something my dad/uncle wanted. My dad and his brother had only girls and the two boys of my generation are his sisters' kids so they have their father's last name. My cousin may have given her daughter my last name but I'm not 100%.

My last name starts with an S so on rosters/rollcall in school I've always been at the bottom of the list and got whatever was "leftover" from the A-R students. BF's last name is B so I will be very happy that our children will be at the top of the list, LOL.

It's the little things in life that make you happy.

hetshup · January 2010

I will be changing my name, like desert I will probably change my first name too. My legal name is Catherine, but everyone calls me Carrie. It's not the normal short name (The nurse told my mom she couldn't name me Carrie b\c it wasn't a real name, go figure). But I made FI promise to come to the social security office and DMV with me. He really wants me to change my name, I don't really want to, but it's important to him.

Acrosthec · January 2010

It's important to FI that I take his last name. We both agree that when we have children (and we're hoping to start with that soon after we get married), it will unify the family and make it easier for everyone. Plus, he's the last male in his family that can carry on his family's name. We're hoping for a boy, and we want him to have FI's last name. My family name is alive and well (my brother had two sons, no daughters) so I don't worry about it disappearing.

I do love my maiden name though, so I'll probably keep it and just tack on FI's name to the end and have four names. My mom did this when she married my dad, and I think it's a grand idea. That way I'm not losing or replacing anything, I'm just adding. I'm going to have to spell my last name whether I use mine or FI's, so that's not really a concern, but I *will* be moving up in the alphabet by a LOT! I'm kinda happy my kids won't always be last in line alphabetically like I was. :-)

Button5807 · January 2010

Now I feel like a jerk b/c if I end up with BFs last name my kids are going straight to the back of the alphabet!

Acrosthec · January 2010

It's not as bad as I make it out to be all the time. Sometimes you get one of those teachers that's like "let's change it up a bit! Reverse-alphabetical-order everyone!" and then you get to be in the very front.

Besides, your kids won't be at the end if you were to take your BF's name, not like what I'm talking about anyway. When I say end, I mean END. Look at my facebook for clarification.

Button5807 · January 2010

haha point taken.
I hadn't actually thought about how much I did enjoy being near the front of the line. They would switch us up and put us in there by 1st name which didn't matter much for me because they both start with the same letter.

ekathleen684 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:644fb354-6f33-4652-b317-2439917ad349Post:d004106e-cc09-457f-9612-491aa4054f59">Re: Name change?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not as bad as I make it out to be all the time. Sometimes you get one of those teachers that's like "let's change it up a bit! Reverse-alphabetical-order everyone!" and then you get to be in the very front. Besides, your kids won't be at the end if you were to take your BF's name, not like what I'm talking about anyway. When I say end, I mean END. Look at my facebook for clarification.
Posted by Acrosthec[/QUOTE]

Those were the best days! I always thought "YES!! I'm number 5 instead of 27!" I wasn't at the very end but still prety far down there.

Your kids will be fine, just look at Arco and me! :)

noelle24 · January 2010

That's when I think it sucks more to be stuck in the middle. Whether it was an A-Z or Z-A day, I never got any closer to the front of the line. Harumph.

Acrosthec · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:644fb354-6f33-4652-b317-2439917ad349Post:6ed612e2-e598-43a9-9343-78c3ed3a093b">Re: Name change?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's when I think it sucks more to be stuck in the middle. Whether it was an A-Z or Z-A day, I never got any closer to the front of the line. Harumph.
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

Haha, FI is an M, and he says the same thing!

katymarie101 · January 2010

I'm Hyphenating just bc it will sound very cool, but I think when it comes to the kids they will just have his name. I mean NO ONE will have this name so I want it hyphenating.

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