mothers dresses Help!!!!!

martia21 · March 2011

am i worng for asking the moms to wear a certain color dress?

GoodLuckBear14 · March 2011

Yep. They are grown women who know how to dress themselves. They are also not part of the bridal party which means you get zero say.

martia21 · March 2011

well yes they are part of the party they are the mothers they will b in many pictures and have to match the dads tuxes. The moms all wanted to wear black but my girls are wearing black i didnt want them looking like a bridesmaid or everyone in black and it look like a funeral.

artbyallie · March 2011

They are not part of the wedding party unless you made them bridesmaids/MsOH. If you did not, you cannot dictate what can or cannot wear. Incidentally, my mother and FMIL have both chosen a color that will match one of the bridemaids (mine are all in different shades) but the mothers and the bridesmaids will not be in any pictures together so it doesn't matter.

Sonita12 · March 2011

Yes you are wrong. They should wear what makes them feel comfortable and beautiful.

Magdala9 · March 2011

Yes.

GoodLuckBear14 · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mothers-dresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a7ea24e3-2b9e-486e-999f-0b2805da56efPost:d9607447-4c7a-4770-9be4-8694ea98b678">Re: mothers dresses Help!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]well yes they are part of the party they are the mothers they will b in many pictures and have to match the dads tuxes. The moms all wanted to wear black but my girls are wearing black i didnt want them looking like a bridesmaid or everyone in black and it look like a funeral.
Posted by martia21[/QUOTE]

If you don't want it to look like a funeral, why are your BMs in black? Are two more black dresses really going to push it into funeral territory? I will be the first to say I cannot stand to see anyone wearing black at a wedding - I don't care that it's accepted now. However, if your BMs are going to be in black, then the moms would match them best in black also.

aerinpegadrak · March 2011

Yes, you are wrong. It's not like the moms are in any pictures with the WP anyway.

MairePoppy · March 2011

You are wrong. The MOB and MOG are adults and get to choose their own dresses in whatever color they like. The same goes for the dads. They don't have to match or complement each other, the wedding party or the decor.
Are you also going to tell the guests that they can't wear black?

martia21 · March 2011

(Good Luck Bear) wow! ok well thanks for your input but please dont criticize my plans (girls in black) that is what i want and its my wedding you can have your color for yours.

Athsea · March 2011

OP, you said you didn't want your wedding to look like a funeral. She was simply asking why you chose such a go-to special occasion color as black for your wedding party if the funeral look was something you were concerned about. I don't believe she was criticizing your choice. Just wondering why you picked a "funeral color" if the funeral look was a concern.

martia21 · March 2011

first of all what is OP?

i picked black because my colors are black and white and black is elegant but not when everone is wearing black i have a mother,stepmother and the grooms mom so that would have been alot of black. and i think the other girl was critizing my plans these are her exact words.

"I will be the first to say I cannot stand to see anyone wearing black at a wedding - I don't care that it's accepted now."

sister2groom · March 2011

Martia: Goodluckbear was actually agreeing with you in that she doesn't like black dresses at weddings either, and was just trying to understand why, since you didn't care for black, you chose that for your bridesmaid dresses.

Anyhow, you still don't get to choose your mother's dress color, the only dresses you have any say in are your own and your bridesmaids (incl maid of honor).

Habs2Hart · March 2011

OP - Original Poster - you.

Please try to use punctuation in your posts. They are very difficult to read.

You cannot dictate what your mothers wear. Unless they plan to show up in a big white ballgown, then the world is their oyster.

GoodLuckBear14 · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mothers-dresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a7ea24e3-2b9e-486e-999f-0b2805da56efPost:2ca3f4bb-eeb4-4064-9d7d-ed53de7a5c54">Re: mothers dresses Help!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE](Good Luck Bear) wow! ok well thanks for your input but please dont criticize my plans (girls in black) that is what i want and its my wedding you can have your color for yours.
Posted by martia21[/QUOTE]

You are the one who said you didn't want it to look like a funeral.

LoveMuffins · March 2011

Meh. I read it as Bear was saying she didn't like the color Black on ANYONE, including the Bridesmaids, but OP has already made that choice so I can't blame her for defending it. However, OP, Bear's point that if a group of black-clad bridesmaid isn't going to make it look like a funeral, then neither will adding two more people dressed in black. Plus, there's going to be this chick in a big, white poufy dress standing in the middle of all the pictures, so I'm pretty sure it'll be clear that it's not a funeral

You're over-thinking this. Relax, realize that everything's going to be gorgeous - and hey, the mom's are dressing within your color palatte! Lots of brides come on here asking if they can DEMAND their mothers wear their colors, you didn't even have to! When you look back at the pictures, you're probably going to laugh at how silly you were to think that what the mom's are wearing was important, smile at how beautiful everyone looks and remember what a great time you had because you're marrying your FI... not because of how anyone looked.

bridalgal50 · March 2011

Well, things must be different in your neck of the woods, because every wedding I've been to, the MOB and MOG have worn a complimentary color to the bridal party colors. Some have worn the same color, and others wore different colors but still complimentary to the color theme. MHO is that this detail helps to 'round out' the wedding scheme as a whole.

And remember, sometimes the bride or groom may have family in the WP, so having all family members in complimentary colors works better for family photographs. (if you care about such things)

When my daughter married, her MIL and I chose to wear pant suits (*gasp!*). We were asked to wear green (didn't bother me at all) since DD color scheme was brown and green- BM were in brown. I wore green, but MIL ended up wearing brown...but no matter. We both felt comfortable and beautiful!

So what I am saying is, yes, MOB and MOG may be grown women but I'm sure they certainly won't mind if you make a color suggestion. It's OK to ask. If they don't want to wear that color, then that's their perogative.

aerinpegadrak · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mothers-dresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a7ea24e3-2b9e-486e-999f-0b2805da56efPost:ea5c3ed7-dda8-4c70-8fe9-e01a5f3ced88">Re: mothers dresses Help!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, things must be different in your neck of the woods, because every wedding I've been to, the MOB and MOG have worn a complimentary color to the bridal party colors. Some have worn the same color, and others wore different colors but still complimentary to the color theme. MHO is that this detail helps to 'round out' the wedding scheme as a whole. And remember, sometimes the bride or groom may have family in the WP, so having all family members in complimentary colors works better for family photographs. (if you care about such things) When my daughter married, her MIL and I chose to wear pant suits (*gasp!*). We were asked to wear green (didn't bother me at all) since DD color scheme was brown and green- BM were in brown. I wore green, but MIL ended up wearing brown...but no matter. We both felt comfortable and beautiful! <strong>So what I am saying is, yes, MOB and MOG may be grown women but I'm sure they certainly won't mind if you make a color suggestion. </strong> It's OK to ask. If they don't want to wear that color, then that's their perogative.
Posted by bridalgal50[/QUOTE]
You might not have minded, but a lot of people do. Unless someone is in the habit of making sure that the family is in color-coordinated outfits for every picture they take (and if so, my sympathies go out to their family), it's not necessary to do for the wedding. It's just micromanagement.

martia21 · March 2011

OP-
well thank you every one for your input.

Update i told the mothers and my step mother that they can wear what they want as long as it is not black i want the girls to be able to be distinqusted between them and the mothers. so we'll see what every one ends up wearing.

vicki0508 · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mothers-dresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a7ea24e3-2b9e-486e-999f-0b2805da56efPost:5ca701db-66ec-4717-8092-f352f9715c08">Re: mothers dresses Help!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]OP- well thank you every one for your input. Update i told the mothers and my step mother that they can wear what they want as long as it is not black i want the girls to be able to be distinqusted between them and the mothers. so we'll see what every one ends up wearing.
Posted by martia21[/QUOTE]
I think that's a perfectly fine solution. If one of the moms comes and asks you for more direction, feel free to give them suggestions.

mothers dresses Help!!!!!

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