Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?

samantha24p · May 2012

Hi my fiancé and I are getting married next May. My fiancé likes things to be interesting so we were discussing the idea to have a belly dancer to dance during cocktail hour. I figured it would give people something to watch and or talk about. I like the idea of it getting people to talk because not everyone's going to know everyone. My Aunt is totally against this idea so it's giving me some doubts but the few close friends I have are all for it. Is it tacky or cool?

ChristineNB · May 2012

I think it is a very classy and I would love to attend a wedding that had a belly dancer

jessicabessica · May 2012

I think it could be nice, although adults can generally hold a conversation with other adults over drinks and snacks without something to watch or discuss, so I don't think it's necessary. If you do hire a belly dancer, I would have the performance in one area, so that guests that are interested can congregate in that area, but others, like your aunt, can avoid it.

Gabrielle76 · May 2012

Are there other Mediterranean elements to your wedding? If you're having other things that fit that theme, I think it could be fun, but if the wedding doesn't have any other exotic touches, it could seem random and out of place.

samantha24p · May 2012

My wedding is still being planned. Everything is whimsical and flowie with a garden feel. I googeled medaterranean wedding ideas and its seems to have a simular feel as to what I am going for.I was watching this one belly dancers video online and she used scarves and was very nice and tasteful.

Gabrielle76 · May 2012

If it goes with the wedding, why not, it seems like a fun option. Before you actually hire a dancer though, make sure you see their performance. In bellydance, there is a wide range of styles, from very tasteful, creative pieces to more sensual routines. Just make sure you're getting the kind of dance you want.

samantha24p · May 2012

Thanks. I noticed that. Some seem family fun appropriate ans some I'd be enbarassed to have dance in front of the in laws. I also noticed that belly dancers take tips but I'm not okay with her taking tips from my guests, guess its too strip club like, so I hope I find one that's down with me tipping her really well ahead of time instead.

calliopeia2013 · May 2012

Here's a different opinion, I don't think you should do it. I love belly dancers at the weddings of the Arab side of my family. I think belly dancing is beautiful and classy. But frankly, if I saw someone with a belly dancer at their wedding for whom it was not a part of their culture, or at least something they were sincerely interested in in everyday life, I would find it culturally appropriative and borderline offensive. Like, it would feel like you were doing it just to be edgy and "exotic." Using my culture just to be cool, not because it actually means anything to you. It would be, like, if you decided to wear kimonos just for the heck of it, or incorporate Hebrew prayers because you liked the way they sound, or something.

rlavach · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_belly-dancer-for-cocktail-hour-tacky-or-creative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2e3169f9-d150-45fb-91fe-3f88e080807dPost:3f2b85de-fd38-4155-a2b2-31da07788a9c">Re:Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's a different opinion, I don't think you should do it. I love belly dancers at the weddings of the Arab side of my family. I think belly dancing is beautiful and classy. But frankly, if I saw someone with a belly dancer at their wedding for whom it was not a part of their culture, or at least something they were sincerely interested in in everyday life, I would find it culturally appropriative and borderline offensive. Like, it would feel like you were doing it just to be edgy and "exotic." Using my culture just to be cool, not because it actually means anything to you. It would be, like, if you decided to wear kimonos just for the heck of it, or incorporate Hebrew prayers because you liked the way they sound, or something.
Posted by calliopeia2013[/QUOTE]
I agree. I've been to plenty of Arabic weddings & other functions (although I am not Arab myself). I think it makes total sense in those types of events. If I were to see that elsewhere, it would almost seem like you're mocking or using it just for a wow factor. Like, that's what you've seen on Four Weddings and want that too. I'm not saying that this is your mindset, OP. Just saying that this is how it would appear to me. It would just be off-color.

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

I think it's cool and certainly not tacky, but I don't think it's going to help your stated reason of helping people get to know each other.

In my personal experience, when you are at an event like that and there is something to watch, you watch the performance instead of talking to people, the performance won't work for an icebreaker.

melb2013 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_belly-dancer-for-cocktail-hour-tacky-or-creative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2e3169f9-d150-45fb-91fe-3f88e080807dPost:f53eba07-708f-47fe-baeb-6e76eefe0590">Re: Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's cool and certainly not tacky, but I don't think it's going to help your stated reason of helping people get to know each other. <strong>In my personal experience, when you are at an event like that and there is something to watch, you watch the performance instead of talking to people, the performance won't work for an icebreaker.</strong>
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with this. I have no problem with belly dancing, but I'm just not wild about having any performers besides musicians for background music at a cocktail hour. I think they are distracting.

</div>

mcskatcat · May 2012

I would honestly only like this at a cultural wedding. If you're having a Mediterrean vibe, then sure, it's fine, or if it's a cultural thing from you/Fi's background, fine. But otherwise I would think it's totally bizarre and would possibly be uncomfortable more than entertained.

alithebride · May 2012

i went to a wedding of a friend who's culture includes belly dancers. that being said it was an awesome touch.

belly dancers are mediterranean? I always though they were middle eastern........

charlycrowe · May 2012

I would think that if done in sincere appreciation of the art of bellydance, you would take pride in the beauty of your culture and be glad that others who may not have been born into the tradition value it and see the beauty in it also.
From her responses, she apparently desires the vibrant yet relaxed atmosphere that this art can set the tone for.
I think it's a nod of respect.
I bellydance and truly appreciate the artform. That being said, if i were a guest there, i would think it an odd choice for a wedding reception.

but, that's just me.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_belly-dancer-for-cocktail-hour-tacky-or-creative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:2e3169f9-d150-45fb-91fe-3f88e080807dPost:3f2b85de-fd38-4155-a2b2-31da07788a9c">Re:Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's a different opinion, I don't think you should do it. I love belly dancers at the weddings of the Arab side of my family. I think belly dancing is beautiful and classy. But frankly, if I saw someone with a belly dancer at their wedding for whom it was not a part of their culture, or at least something they were sincerely interested in in everyday life, I would find it culturally appropriative and borderline offensive. Like, it would feel like you were doing it just to be edgy and "exotic." Using my culture just to be cool, not because it actually means anything to you. It would be, like, if you decided to wear kimonos just for the heck of it, or incorporate Hebrew prayers because you liked the way they sound, or something.
Posted by calliopeia2013[/QUOTE]

calliopeia2013 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_belly-dancer-for-cocktail-hour-tacky-or-creative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2e3169f9-d150-45fb-91fe-3f88e080807dPost:58a6d914-50d1-440d-9bc5-12e72bd9bce6">Re:Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would think that if done in sincere appreciation of the art of bellydance, you would take pride in the beauty of your culture and be glad that others who may not have been born into the tradition value it and see the beauty in it also. From her responses, she apparently desires the vibrant yet relaxed atmosphere that this art can set the tone for. I think it's a nod of respect. I bellydance and truly appreciate the artform. That being said, if i were a guest there, i would think it an odd choice for a wedding reception. but, that's just me. In Response to Re:Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative? :
Posted by charlycrowe[/QUOTE]

I actually completely agree with you, and I have non-Arab friends who bellydance, and would think nothing of it if they included it in their weddings. But that isn't what the OP said- I think you may be reading your own opinions into her post. What she said was that she wanted a belly dancer to "give people something to watch or talk about." That sounds like cultural appropriation, not cultural appreciation, to me.

Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?

Re: Belly dancer for cocktail hour tacky or creative?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards