It turned into them verbally attacking me and they are not coming to the wedding, we are no longer welcome in their home. His sister sent him an email basically insinuating that this was all my idea and his mom said that I am using this as revenge. I will never be a part of their family because I don’t know what family is. They said they had it figured out they knew which credit card they were going to use. This just validates our decision even more they should not be using credit with the situation they are in. His sister’s last sentence of her email was I got to try on a pretty dress that everyone I have showed thinks I look beautiful and now no one will get to see me! Matt got so fed up he set them straight and told them it was his decision he is fed up with them acting like this they don’t have to like me but with everything I have tried to do for them short of driving them up here and never even got a thank you how dare they then call me unthoughtful and inconsiderate. He told them we want them at the wedding if they want to support us in our marriage but at this point we seem to be far past that so if they choose not to not to come he is okay with that and they can’t pretend to be angels because they have said some very hurtful things. Also they said we need to take his dads invite back to because he doesn’t want us getting married either. There was MUCH MUCH more said but it would take a long time to type it all out. I couldn’t sleep I feel horrible. This weekend is Matt’s bday and he already has all his gifts and I want to do something for him but I just don’t know what and I know this isn’t my fault but it is because of me and I am having trouble distinguishing the difference. I can’t even eat I am so sick to my stomach. I promise this will be the last thing about this I am going to try my best to just move on and let it be everything that needs to be said was said.
Re: Update...sorry for being a post whore the last two days
"I got to try on a pretty dress that everyone I have showed thinks I look beautiful and now no one will get to see me!"
I think that you got it right when you said yesterday that you felt like all she wanted was to wear a pretty dress and get her hair done. This day is NOT about her, it is about YOU.
As far as the dads invite, I wouldn't necessarily believe them until you actually talk to the dad. Since they can't partake in the day, they may be making sure no one else can either.
No need to apologize either...I don't think you are being a postwhore plus it's a rough time and some of us have BTDT and I know I am willing to lend an ear. I hope you can find something fun to do for Matts birthday.
((HUGS))
Maybe you guys could do ICE or something this weekend. If you do go, go earlier in the day. Or may be go find some nice areas to look at Christmas lights.
*For Sale & Wedding Planning Bio*
Holy Moly! I'm so sorry Bobbileigh.. I don't even know what to say. I guess just let them be... I'm sure when the dust settles they will realize what fools they have been. Hopefully it won't be too late to see their son get married to a wonderful woman.
I think the ICE is a good idea or the Grapevine Wine train sounds fun too... might cheer him up a little... or maybe even Holiday in the Park at Six Flags?
You guys really don't deserve this.
I also do not think this is your fault. Her statement about being in a pretty dress is ridiculous. She's only upset about the dress, not that she's not going to be included in her brother's big day.
Plus, it's Matt's choice to distance himself from them. You are not forcing him to do this. I think ICE is a good suggestion - or even hot chocolate and Christmas lights.
Hopefully, things will simmer down. Hopefully you are able to sleep and eat soon. It's not your fault. They are causing unneccesary drama. Is there any way you and Matt can go somewhere to get away from all this stuff?? Maybe got to a B&B for the night or something. Just do some alone romantic time.
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry, Bobbileigh. Every child dreams of their family supporting them in all their endeavors and it's terrible when that doesn't happen.<strong> Maybe you guys could do ICE or something this weekend</strong>. If you do go, go earlier in the day. Or may be go find some nice areas to look at Christmas lights.
Posted by juliebug1997[/QUOTE]
We went this weekend and it was alot of fun! They validate your parking if you go to ICE and it's fun just to walk around because of all the stuff they have set up. I would def. reccomend that for sure....but bring gloves :)
Bio
With All the Trimmings
His family should trust and love him enough to give you a chance. Notice I said, "should?" I really hope it all works out with his family, but if it doesn't, at least you know that you are the most important thing to your FI. You have an amazingly strong base for your relationship, if you can get through this.
[QUOTE]Ditto everything Stephie said. I'm really proud of your FI for standing up for you and for himself. <strong>His family should trust and love him enough to give you a chance. Notice I said, "should?"</strong> I really hope it all works out with his family, but if it doesn't, at least you know that you are the most important thing to your FI. You have an amazingly strong base for your relationship, if you can get through this.
Posted by MsLaura31[/QUOTE]
I think it's amazing how many times the should doesn't happen or never happens.
Bio Good Times
And yes, kudos to your husband.
[QUOTE]In addition to this not being about YOU, maybe they just don't really like the fact that he is an adult and can make his own decisions; <strong>not only can they not tell him what to do anymore, his attention is more focused on you guys and the new unit he is creating (rightfully so) rather than on them? </strong> It's more of a disapproval of his adult choices, not necessarily you. And yes, kudos to your husband.
Posted by shortgirltx[/QUOTE]
This.
Bobbieleigh, I am so sorry to hear about this latest development. For Matt's sake, I hope they can halt their selfishness long enough to see how their actions have impacted much more than just you. They are damaging their relationship with him forever if they don't shape up and admit their fault here. It floors me that people can make such hasty decisions when it comes to cutting someone out of their life...which it seems they have done--maybe without even realizing it.
I am like you in terms of taking it all to heart--but since you cannot reason with a fool, you shouldn't take what they've decided to blow out of proportion personally (even though you will for a while--but that is because you're human!). ICE is a great idea to help get your mind off things! Matt is very lucky to have you!!! It is a shame that his family doesn't see that now--but they WILL!!