My MOH came over the other night and told me she had been talking (nothing physcial she says) to a guy that she has liked forever (like 15 years). Thing is, the guy is married (in October 08) and has been with his wife for something like 12 years. Anyways, I told her to stay away from him and I get a FB message from him today.
You wanna kill me yet??? I knew you would be furious with her. I've already seen how bad I can hurt people (bad). I've loved her forever.... I always will. Whatever she or I have ever done I always still look at her and smile. There is no uncomfortable silence ever. Nothing like that... I'm trying, and have been trying to not be married. My wife destroys me, and tricks me into thinking I'm a horrible person. T is the only one that witnessed any of this s*&%. I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. I dunno what else to say. So ... Yell at me ... Give me advice.... Tell me to leave her alone .... I dunno. I really don't ... I don't know Whats right or wrong anymore I so confused from being mentally abused day after day. I don't feel sorry for myself. I blame myself for being a puppet for so long, and not knowing. I've addressed it, and so much more.
To which I replied:
Ohh wow. Umm, hmm. I really don't care what your wife has done to you, it doesn't make it right and I'd feel really bad for her. Really bad. If you are trying not to be married get a fucking divorce! There's no shame in admitting that it's not going to work, even after 15 years or whatever. No one deserves to be cheated on, emotionally or physically. And as someone who is getting married in a few months it makes me sick to think about and it's even worse that my maid of honor would have anything to do with a married man, no matter how f'ed up your marriage is.
I think you and T shouldn't talk because NOTHING good will come out of it, NOTHING. If you seriously have such issues with your wife then work that out first. Don't jump the gun or look for excuses (like T) to actually get a divorce. Do it because you really want to, not because you'll be forced to if your wife finds out.
It's all just so disheartening to hear before I get married. So I hope you do the right thing and I'll never support T having anything to do with you while your married.
It makes me s upset because I know all three involved. Obviously I'm close with my MOH and nothing the other two but still.
I don't want to get involved in their business but would you? Would you want to know if you were the wife?