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She does... He doesn't

eastiowaeastiowa
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
I want us to write our own vows..... he does not .... If there is no agreement .. then I cannot write and read my own right?  What is proper etiquette? Do we both have to agree to do it?

 

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Re: She does... He doesn't

  • APW2010APW2010 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Some couples have pretty different vows when they write their own, so it probably depends on how traditional your ceremony is and what you want to say. Are you having a religious ceremony? And is his objection that he wants to use something traditional, or he doesn't know what to say or doesn't want to do the work to write it himself?

    FI wants something personal but is having trouble finding the words & didn't want to put more time into it, so I'm going to write both our vows and then together we'll tweak them to feel natural for us both. I do a lot of creative writing anyway so this is a fun part for me.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think if you are not on the same page, then you should do the traditional vows.  Not everyone is comfortable expressing their feelings infront of a crowd.  If he were to do the traditional and then you were to do original ones, he may come off looking like a cold fish.
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  • future-mrsfuture-mrs member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I see nothing wrong with you writing your own and then doing traditional vows as well.  See if your FI is comfortable with something like that instead maybe.
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  • MsBunny312MsBunny312 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Perhaps the idea of writing his vows by himself is what freaks him out. Maybe if you wrote them together, used the traditional vow, and tweaked them together would help make the process a little easier and less overwhelming.
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  • MsBunny312MsBunny312 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    To clarify...I meant use the traditional vows as a base and then tweak to make it  personal.
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  • bebonomibebonomi
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had the same situation with my FI but I REALLY wanted us to write our vows so I drafted some and read it to him and then he decided that he liked them so much he was happy writing his own if I gave him a little help.
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