Over all it was one of the best days of my life and everything (well most everything) is water under the bridge, but I just need to get it all out of me....
So our wedding was on private property and almost entirely DYI. I had planned out everything to a T so that set up would go as quickly as possible. I set up a schedule and asked my bridal party and some friends who had volunteered to help to please stick to it. My volunteers did, all my bridal party did was gripe and moan the whole freaking time.
So....to the beginning, my in-laws show up a few days before. I was in the middle of trying to do final edits on my master's thesis so I could have it submitted before the wedding. They show up and I apologize and tell them that I really had to get that done, but I already had dinner started. There were a few snarky comments from them about this and that, I tried to ignore and put on a smile. The next day they were there I tried calling to see what their plans were and no one would answer their phones and they never called me. Finally around midday I had errands to run so I took off. I get a call from my mom about an hour later saying that they had showed up and were wondering where I was. They proceeded to treat my mom like her ranch was a zoo and expected her to entertain them while she had other things to do. They even had the audacity to tell her how she should be running her ranch. Ugh! Let's say I was not a happy camper when my husband finally showed up only to find out that while I was entertaining his family he had been at home (2 hours away) out partying, not something I would have really been bothered by if I hadn't had to deal with his family being rude. Anyway I bit my tongue around them and vented to my mom to keep from saying something I would regret.
The next day my best friend and husband show up which made things chill for a little bit. The day after we had rehearsal in the morning which went ok, and then we went to go do our respective bridal party things; I took the girls to get nails done and he took guys to go shooting. His BIL didn't bother going to the shooting and his best friend decided to take his girlfriend along. That irritated me, especially when I found out they gave her my gun to shoot. Ok, deep breath, it's not that big of a deal.... We headed over to get our nails done and my friends and sister who had never met each other before were having a great time while my MIL and SIL refused to talk to anyone. I was hoping that would be a time for everyone to get to know each other and bond, but oh well. We were going to lunch after and I chose my favorite Chinese place which is upscale and I have never taken somewhere there yet who hasn't loved it. SIL refused to go though because her kids don't like Chinese....um, ok, fine....The rest of us hung out and had a good time, I tried including her, but she refused to be part of anything. After that we all headed back up to the ranch to get as much done as we could. Everyone was about an hour late, so we had a bit of a late start. Everyone was being really good about helping out, but then the guys started drinking and suddenly nothing was getting done. We barely got through dinner and there was still a lot to get done and it was down to me and four or five of the 15 some people that were there helping to start with, so we spent til about 11 getting everything finished up.
Get up the next morning and only the people who had stayed at the ranch were there while everybody else was at least an hour late. SIL didn't even bother to show up. I was freaking out because there was so much to do and no one showed up when they were supposed to, so I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to tell people what needed to be done. Then when I would ask if someone could do something nicely I was getting ignored so after about the third or fourth time of asking nicely I was so frustrated that I was snapping at people, not the typical sweet and bubbly me. Finally about an half an hour after I was supposed to leave to start getting ready we were done enough that I could leave my three volunteers to finish up. My sister was doing my hair, but must have been nervous cause after an hour of half pulling my hair out and getting nowhere I made her stop and did it myself. Of course by then she had so much goop in my hair I wasn't even sure that I could do what I practiced as my fail safe back up, it was 30 minutes til we were supposed to take the bridesmaids and bride pics before the ceremony, I didn't have makeup on, and my SIL was still nowhere to be seen. Finally she shows up almost an hour after we were supposed to do pics and I could finally start putting on my dress....so I didn't get any pictures in my dress before my makeup melted outside and later after I had confetti in my hair and everyone tried to get it out, fuzzed up my hair worse than it was to start with, my dress was ripped and on and on..... Then one of my guests shows up with her husband and nine, yes nine kids in a van that is breaking down and decides she's going to come in to the house where I'm getting ready. I might have freaked out just a little bit on that. The last thing I needed while having a panic attack because one of my bridesmaids might have just bailed on me that I didn't need 9 kids under 15 coming in to hang out while I was still in my robe that would not stay shut trying to put on fake lashes.
Finally we got through getting ready and started the ceremony which went great, except no one made the announcement to have the confetti ready to throw at us as we walked down the aisle, so there was a little awkward moment while everyone opened up their bags, but whatever....went through the receiving line and it was time for pics, but everyone decided it was time to drink and not time to take pictures. At this point I'd had enough of bridal party B.S. so after asking nicely once, I just yelled at them. My photographer offered me a job at every wedding. We finally get done with our pictures and head to the reception only to find that everyone of our bridal party is wasted....oh yay. Get through toasts, and dinner and cake and dance and people start heading out. I expect this because it started at 1 pm. That was fine, but I wish I would have had a chance to really say hi to those people other than the receiving line. Put on the dance music. People are dancing, 7 pm people are dropping like flies so we do the garter toss and bouquet toss and we are down to only the close friends and family. Drunk bridesmaids see people leaving and decide that they need to change to the bump and grind music (I was using my iPod as a DJ). As a note, if you go this route lock your iPod and duct tape the cords in. I came back from taking some last minute photos to Eminem singing "shake that ass" and my best guy friend's wife in shock because her 4 and 6 yo were still there. I took the iPod away, yelled at the soberest of them to please keep it in line and went to put a lock code on my iPod. Not a half hour later and I hear the music change again because one of my husband's very very drunk friends decides that the music on his iPod is better. Keep in mind the only people who had a problem with the music were about four of the drunk bridal party and one of his friends. Everyone else was sitting down talking to family and friends and could really care less what the music was. Eventually we had enough of dealing with them and let them sort it out on their own and left for our room. The next day only a couple of the bridal party showed up to help and the ones that did came about an hour before I got there, threw away decorations along with regular trash (guess I'm not selling that).
After the wedding I got to hear story after story of how this person said this and that about me and each other and how my husband's best friend/best man wouldn't have even come if we hadn't paid for most of his tux and how his wedding present to us was him being there. Gee thanks, I could have easily replaced you with a friend who in reality is a better friend. We found out who our friends really are.
The last thing that pissed me off was how many people who RSVP'd with notes like "I'm so excited to come and see you on you special day" and then didn't show up....really? The day after I heard about 15 dead relatives, upset tummies and then saw the same people out on a boat in facebook pictures saying how much fun Saturday was. If you aren't really going to come, don't RSVP yes please....I spent at least $150 per guest to have the wedding and could have saved a lot of money in food and cake, chair and table rentals had I known that so many people really had no intention of coming, or invited other people who I felt bad leaving off the list that would have liked to come. Grrrrr....
The day after was great though, our real friends came up, hung out, ate left overs, helped clean up and were lots of fun. And the honeymoon was fabulous.
Overall I had a great day because I married my best friend, but I was incredibly disappointed by our other "best friends" and some of my family.