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New Jersey - South
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guest list issues/questions

kitten444kitten444 member
10 Comments
in New Jersey - South
hey guys --
has anyone else had issues with who to invite to your wedding??

My guy and i met at work - i no longer work there but he still does.  While i have kept in touch with some people there...its always been me contacting them and now that our wedding is coming....im not sure if i want these people there (they can be very catty)  so what do i do??  invite or not?  

we have a very small venue where we are having the ceremony and reception so seats are a premium !!  and i dont want people who are going to be negitive and catty and talk about everyone there...ya know?  but we also dont want it to be a problem with him at work because i think some of these people already EXPECT that they will be asked...(long story...)

any thoughts on what to do? 
- Heather Wedding Countdown Ticker
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Re: guest list issues/questions

  • 2010Bride2be2010Bride2be
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Invite no one from work and if they ask, say that you had limited space and wanted to keep your wedding guest count to family and close friends.

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  • kitten444kitten444 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    oooh... 2010 - that is a good idea...

    but i am inviting one person from that job as her and i were best friends before and have remained best friends since...think it will still hold up?
    i know she wont say anything as she is not like that (and actually works in a different dept.)

    So i could probably pull that off ...
    - Heather Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • lmparlettlmparlett member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I finally told myself, "I can't invite the whole world, so people will have to deal."  I know there are people at my work who felt left out, but I figured that if I didn't feel close enough to them to invite them, then I shouldn't get upset if they get mad....
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  • 2010Bride2be2010Bride2be
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If she's your best friend, then yes, she should definitley be invited. 

    And I have to agree with Imparlett...You can't invite the whole world. And people will just have to deal with it. If people cannot understand space limitations and the cost thst goes into a wedding, then that is their problem. Call me snarky or rude, but I guess I've been going through the same thing and I gave up on other's feelings when it comes to the guest list.  
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  • lmparlettlmparlett member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    2010, I don't think you are snarky or rude... just realistic.  And you have to remember... a lot of the people who you don't see as great friends, don't see you as a great friend either.  They want to be invited simply because weddings are fun and they want to be included... not because they necessarily love you and want to see you get married.  Keeping things like that in perspective helped me a ton.  I tried to invite people who I knew really wanted to be there out of love!
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  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm only inviting my boss.
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  • kitten444kitten444 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    see...thats it exactly -- i have the feeling that they want to be invited so they can talk about it the next day at work and that bothers me....i dont know if they would be there to wish me well or anything like that....i mean, they might....but (and i know its mean) i have doubts...


    thanks guys  - you guys are great !
    - Heather Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • rol769rol769 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Put them on a "B" or "C" list.  If you have a lot of people saying no, then you can add them kind of at the last minute.
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  • kitten444kitten444 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys !!!  i actually took off all the old work people and decided that its our day and we only want happy shiny people there -- not poopheads...

    thanks for giving the the courage to do this !
    - Heather Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • lmparlettlmparlett member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Good call Heather!  We finally came to the same conclusion... ; )
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  • pumpkinseed12pumpkinseed12
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had similar issues...DH and I met at work, and got engaged while we were both still working there, but by the time the wedding came around, he had left and I was/am still there.

    He had worked here for 3 years prior to me starting, so he had quite a few people he wanted to invite. All but 1 of them I could have done without at the wedding, but I invited the 2 people from my department and left it at that.

    If there are people that neither your FI or you want there, forget about them! If they get over it, great, and if not, oh well.

    Four months into working at this place, a co worker was getting married in my department, and she invited our boss and another co worker and not me, which I was fine with since I hadn't been here all that long. Well she called me at work the day before to invite me and I felt like that was more rude than not inviting me in the first place. And of course I felt obligated to go...so we went. Luckily she left the compnay before I got married so I didn't have to worry about "returning the invite favor."

    Sorry for the long response...bottom line, I agree with pp...you invite who you want to and however many people your venue(s) will allow. Whoever doesn't make the cut will have to put their big kid pants on and get over it!

    GL!
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