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Wedding Reception Forum
Andrea.Matillano
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Sweetheart Table?
What do you think about the idea of a sweetheart table? We are having our brothers and sisters as bridesmaids and groomsmen but they are all married or dating and it seems like they would rather sit with their significant others rather than at the table. Not that they aren't more than willing to! They haven't complained, I am just assuming. So, I was wondering what everyone thinks about the idea of a sweetheart table. I am not really a fan of the whole head table thing. I think that we will be walking about talking, dancing, and mingling most of the time anyways.
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Re: Sweetheart Table?
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And of course, their respective WPs loved it, because they got to sit at tables like all the other guests at the wedding did.
I'm a huge fan of sweetheart tables. The only wedding in the last decade that I've actually seen the traditional Head Table was my nephew's, and that was among the least egregious things about that holy mess of a wedding.
But its really about what you want. If you want a head table for a traditional look and so that your bridal party can converse then go for it!
The head table doesn't actually allow for conversation with anyone other than the people seated immediately to your right and left, and these days it's very unlikely that all of your WP will really be friends with each other, so if you're hoping the head table is going to turn them all into one big happy family, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Additionally, many photographers have a policy of not shooting people who are eating, so even if you do it for a photo op, you're probably not going to end up with pictures of it anyway.
Honestly, I've never heard a single rational argument in favor of the head table, other than "That's how I've always seen it done" or "That's how we want it." Considering all of the numerous arguments against it, those simply just don't hold water.
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Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
We only had four attendants (and only three of them had a date), so we were able to fit all 9 of us at a head table at our wedding.
Anything that keeps the bridal party members and their dates together is a good idea. There's really no point to splitting them up, and no point to making people miserable just for the sake of tradition or a pretty picture.
Another option, if you don't want it to be just the two of you and if your bridal party is too big to include all the significant others at the head table, could be to sit with the Best Man and MOH and their dates. Or your siblings and their dates. Or both sets of parents.
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We've been to 7 weddings in the past 2 years and not one of them had a head table. All except for 1 had sweetheart tables, and the 1 that didn't have a sweetheart table, the bride and groom sat at a regular round table with their parents so their bridal party could sit with their dates and friends. I honestly haven't attended a wedding with a head table since my aunt's wedding in 1989.
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We were both set on a head table UNTIL 3 weeks ago, we went to cousins wedding where they had their own special table in the middle. We immediately changed our minds. Considering I wouldn't want our significant others of our wedding party being alone, a head table is completely out of the question.
[QUOTE]we are doing 3 tables of the wedding party. i think sweetheart tables look silly. why seperate yourself from friends and family? <strong>we are having three tables upfront the center table will be the two us of an the MOH, her date, BM and his wife. the other two tables will have the rest of the bridal party and their dates
</strong>Posted by ejoyce8[/QUOTE]
We did exactly this, and I loved it! If DH or I had to get up (to get a drink, etc), we still had someone to talk to (BM/MOH). If we wanted to just talk to eachother, our seatmates could talk to their dates. Plus, the WP was right near us and everyone got to sit with his or her date.
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The last wedding both the FI and I were in the WP, but we were still seperated by bridesmaids and groomsmen; I would have rather sat with my FI during dinner than between two girls I didn't know.
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[QUOTE]Were doing a head table, us and bridal party. Any SOs have other people they know and are comfortable with to sit with at dinner. Its just for dinner, its not a big deal to be apart for that. Ive been to 1 wedding with a sweetheart table and the only reason I liked it was b/c FI was a GM and asked me to sit with him and thats how we started dating...other than that it looked sad and pathetic...imo
Posted by FutureDondada[/QUOTE]
I think separating your WP from their SOs is sad and pathetic.
I say go for the sweetheart table thats what my husband and I did.
I find it strange that no one on here has said anything about the significant others making new friends. I plan to introduce the partners of my bridesmaids to my other friends before the wedding so they are happy to sit together and have a good time, most of them know other guests anyway. I have been the significant other at 3 weddings, one of which I only knew my fiance at, and never had a problem with sitting at a separate table to him.
A sweetheart table looks so sad to me. I understand the idea of having some time to talk to each other while eating, but I agree, one leaves for the bathroom and the other is alone. I'll be eating dinner alone with him often enough that this night is about being with him and my guests. I loved sitting next to my sister at her wedding, and she's going to love sitting next to me at mine.
I personally want a head table & there is nothing wrong with that. I want my closest guys & girls at the table with me... plus for picture reason as well. I am excited to have us all together for dinner.
My wedding party guests all know each other or both are in the wedding so it's not a big deal.
When I went to a wedding with a sweetheart table, the couple barely seemed engaged with their guests. But that just might be because that couple is shy.
People just need to stop being nasty & just accept people's opinions.
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[QUOTE]I just don't know why people need to be so mean! You should not sit there & say other people's preference is "pathetic" it's a matter of opinion! <strong>I personally want a head table & there is nothing wrong with that. </strong> I want my closest guys & girls at the table with me... plus for picture reason as well. I am excited to have us all together for dinner. My wedding party guests all know each other or both are in the wedding so it's not a big deal. When I went to a wedding with a sweetheart table, the couple barely seemed engaged with their guests. But that just might be because that couple is shy. People just need to stop being nasty & just accept people's opinions.
Posted by omglah247[/QUOTE]
As long as you don't separate your WP from their dates it's fine. If you do, you're doing something quite rude even if they don't tell you.
This is a matter of opinion but the actions resulting from those opinions can be rude. That's the issue. You can do what you'd like but in the end, wouldn't you want to know that an idea is offense before you act on it?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sweetheart Table? : As long as you don't separate your WP from their dates it's fine. If you do, you're doing something quite rude even if they don't tell you. This is a matter of opinion but the actions resulting from those opinions can be rude. That's the issue. You can do what you'd like but in the end, wouldn't you want to know that an idea is offense before you act on it?
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry but I don't think it's rude fro my guest. They are all family & everyone knows each other well. We will be sitting down for just a little bit for dinner, the rest of the time, everyone will be wondering around. I might as well had the dates in the wedding too.... they can't even sit with their guest during the CEREMONY! oh my what will they do?!?!?! ;)
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sweetheart Table? : I'm sorry but I don't think it's rude fro my guest. They are all family & everyone knows each other well. We will be sitting down for just a little bit for dinner, the rest of the time, everyone will be wondering around. I might as well had the dates in the wedding too.... they can't even sit with their guest during the CEREMONY! oh my what will they do?!?!?! ;)
Posted by omglah247[/QUOTE]
I think you're missing a fundamental differnence here.
The ceremony is for the couple. It is understood that the bridal party will be split from their SOs as their duty begins and ends with the ceremony.
However the reception is FOR the guests. And it is rude to split up established social units at the event that is FOR them.
Furthermore, your comment, "Oh my what will they do?!?!?" isn't the point. It isn't about WHAT the dates will do. The point is that it's inappropriate and rude to spit up established social units.
Most adults can *do* just fine without their SO. However why should the wedding reception be something with which they can survive or "make do". The event is for them. Their desires should come first - not the desires of the hosts.
If the hosts put their desires before their guests then they really are missing the point of the reception.
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Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
That's all... to each his own!
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