Thrown a wild card

Sewilson33 · March 2010

So my FI's grandmother just threw us a wild card. 6 months ago I told my FI to check with his family that there would be no problems not getting married in a church. Today (after we booked our place!!!) his Grandmother decided to tell him if we do not get married in a church it is not a real marriage and she will not come!! So now we have to change everything including our budget!

My question is how much does it normally cost to get married in a church??

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

Don't do this. Your wedding is about you and your FI. When grandma got married, she chose to do it how she wanted. This is your turn, and if the church isn't that important to you, you shouldn't do it just to make her happy.

Call grandma's bluff. "Sorry, you feel that way, but we've decided on a ceremony that is meaningful and right for us. I wish you'd reconsider, but if you won't, you'll be missed." She'll come.

zitiqueen · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_thrown-wild-card?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:341e4b0e-aaff-4ee8-804b-4f9a0ffce658Post:45b3769d-3298-4576-be5b-e79a6e6bbdbf">Thrown a wild card</a>:
[QUOTE]So my FI's grandmother just threw us a wild card. 6 months ago I told my FI to check with his family that there would be no problems not getting married in a church. Today (after we booked our place!!!) his Grandmother decided to tell him if we do not get married in a church it is not a real marriage and she will not come!! So now we have to change everything including our budget! My question is how much does it normally cost to get married in a church??
Posted by Sewilson33[/QUOTE]

No, you don't have to do that. You're choosing to do that. Don't blame grandma for choices you are willingly making.

FutureMrsBoucher · March 2010

Ditto MNIN. Don't throw everything away just because g-ma just suddenly came out with this. Your FI talked to them about this already. Do what you were planning on doing, and either she will suck it up, or she'll miss out. Don't let this change anything.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

Don't let her bully or guilt you into changing your venue. If you and FI don't want a church, then don't get married in a church. It's her loss, not yours.

Kmartella4 · March 2010

I agree with everyone- Your wedding, your final say! Sorry Grandma.....

If you belong to the church, it is usually a cheaper price. It all depends on the parrish as far as what they would charge. My FI and I's church is $200 if you belong and I think $600 if you don't?

HTH!!

trix1223 · March 2010

I agree with everyone else. As someone who works in a church, I think it's just wrong for a couple to get married in a church when that is NOT important to them.

If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to tell Grandma that you understand her feelings, but this is your wedding. You hope she'll be there with you on your wedding day, but if she feels she can't attend, you'll miss her.

You and your FI should NOT change all of your plans, and you should most certainly NOT compromise your beliefs.

HisCB · March 2010

ditto with everyone else call her bluff, tell her she will be missed.

if you were already planning on doing a religious-y ceremony, then, tell gma that your venue means so much to you so you chose to have a religious wedding there instead.

jroseber · March 2010

Have your wedding the way you want it or you may look back on it and regret it. My mom was trying to convince me to do it her way but my FI's mom was really supportive. She never planned her wedding - her family did it all for her and she does regret it.

But my dream wedding is at my home church and since both my FI and I are members the whole thing is free! (Even the gathering room where we will have our reception)

ZoeTheDog · March 2010

Sewilson, YGPM!

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