I've always been taught that inviting more than about 30 people to a shower is really gift grabby.
In many cases, I would agree with this, but I also think this depends on who's invited and why. FI's extended family is pretty close, and most of them go to all of the family get togethers. At his niece's shower last year, there were at least 30 adult guests just from Fi's family alone, and I expect it will be the same way with ours. In his family, to not invite all of them to something like a shower would be considered rude and cause hurt feelings. However, if someone's inviting a ton of people that aren't relatives and they aren't that close to, then yeah, definitely gift grabby.
As far as the display shower, I've never heard of one either. From the description others have offered, though, it doesn't sound like the bride handles the gifts and cards at all during the actual shower. And, from your question, it also doesn't sound like display showers are the norm in your circle. If this is the case, then I think you have to ask yourself if your guests will be cool with this kind of shower. If you have any doubt about whether or not this type of shower will fly with your guests, then you should probably ask your mom and sister to reconsider the type of shower they throw for you.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_display-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e8ec4c32-22e3-4e0b-a3ea-ccf0996b09b2Post:cb461904-100e-4c42-b02f-df80c0112e0f">Re: display bridal shower</a>: [QUOTE]When you have a come and go shower, it is typical (at least in my city) for the hostesses to unwrap the gifts and display them with the name cards. That is because guests will COME AND GO during the two hour span which doesn't allow a time for all the guests to watch the bride unwrap the gifts. Come and go showers are so much better than having to sit in a room and watch the bride be subjected to stupid games and unwrap five million gifts. SO boring!!! Posted by depiaml[/QUOTE]
I think this sounds like a good idea... I really am not a fan of the 'sit around and watch me open presents" parties. I would rather be mingling and chatting and spending qualtity time with friends and family vs sitting a circle while they watch me open gifts. But I'm one to also think that showers in general are a bit old fashioned.
for my sisters, just for the sake of time and the amt of ppl invited, we did something similar. in order to have it make sense, we had on the invite "GO GREEN! save your wrapping and show off your favorite ribbon instead" people that came had fun with it and had all elaborate ribbons and so on and yes she still "opened" each gift and card but there wasnt mass confusion with unwrapping (sometimes i hve been to weddings where it takes over 4 hours just to open all the gifts...cards get lost, paper all over and it turns into a mess!) i think doing something similar can give you the best of both: your mom and sis can still have their idea of a display, but you can put your spin on it so it doesnt take the fun out of opening the gifts! i say- go for it. i think it worked out very well and i am goign to do something similar for mine. good luck!
Personally I prefer a display bridal shower. What is the fun of sitting around watching a bride to be open presents for over 2 hours. The first time I saw this was at my cousin's bridal shower and it was much more enjoyable being able to talk and mingle the entire time rather then sit and watch her open presents. I requested a display bridal shower because I knew there would be at least 50 people at my shower.
i don't think there's anything wrong with your mother hosting it. plenty of people do that ust like baby showers. it's not ''bad form'' anymore.
i do think that is kinda weird to bring unwrapped presents. i mean i don't really like opening gifts in front of a ton of people but i figure if they were nice enough to give them to me i should at least let them see me open them. what fun is it to give a gift you cant see someone open? lol but i guess as long as there are no games i don't care much what happens at mine..!
i do agree that it sucks watching someone open things [or doing it yourself] for hours because then the majority of the time at your shower is spend like that & not actually talking & seeing people & by the end people just want to leave. i like jellegee's idea with the ribbon. it's still fun & like it's for an actual purpose [green] but doesn't seem rude..
I am planning to have this type of shower too. Still looking for ideas on the best way to handle it and not be tacky. The idea is to spend the day enjoying your guests - not hours of opening presents and holding them up. Let's also not forget that most of them you registered for so you have to acted suprised which is also irritating. As this does break the traditional mold, there are some, shall we say "mature" guests that will not understand the concept. So I plan on opening special gifts from grandmothers and older aunts. Most of my younger friends LOVE the idea of skipping the present opening ordeal.
Also - I resent the comment that over 30 guests is "gift grabby". Some people have large families who happen to be very close knit. I am the oldest of 27 grandchildren on my dad's side alone. With my fiances family and mine, I'm looking at around 70 guests for my shower. Just pointing out that it is offensive to some to put a numerical limit on intimacy.
Traditions are popping up everywhere! I think it's great when people step outside the box and surprise us all. Not passing judgement is very hard to do, but typing about it is another thing. Everyone is entitled to their own traditions and which etiquette rules they choose to follow. I think it's great people that some people are choosing to do something different while others are keeping with traditions to a tee. it keeps us all individuals!
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
The only thing odd to me is that when people bring gifts to bridal showers, tradition is that the MOH keeps the ribbons from the wrapped packages to make the practice bouquet for the reception. My MOH is doing that at my bridal shower. To me it just creates another little memoribilia. But to each their own. If this is what your mom wants to do, let her do it, you can always have more than one bridal shower. I'm having two bachelorette parties. One out of town and one in town. It's your wedding do what YOU want.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_display-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:e8ec4c32-22e3-4e0b-a3ea-ccf0996b09b2Post:ddeaf706-4648-4bb3-81a2-ba064b39ac39">Re: display bridal shower</a>: [QUOTE]The only thing odd to me is that when people bring gifts to bridal showers, tradition is that the MOH keeps the ribbons from the wrapped packages to make the practice bouquet for the reception. My MOH is doing that at my bridal shower. To me it just creates another little memoribilia. But to each their own. If this is what your mom wants to do, let her do it, you can always have more than one bridal shower. I'm having two bachelorette parties. One out of town and one in town. It's your wedding do what YOU want. Posted by dphillips0208[/QUOTE]
I think this might have to do with where you live. I am from NJ and bridal showers are a BIG deal. Your whole family gets invited and mothers ALWAYS throw the party. The more I read posts on the knot, I always think to myself... wow we are all so different and unique!
If a mother did not throw a bridal shower for her daughter where I am from.. people would question it and frown upon it.
I had never heard of this type of shower before (where you don't wrap the gifts) until last year. The invitation had a little saying on it and we were asked to add a tag and a bow. The bride was a friend of mine and she said that she didn't want to go through the hastle of opening a million gifts.
Another thing I noticed and I can't STAND is how at these showers with alot of people.. such as I would have to say.. the majority of the showers I have been to.. people get rude. The talk to one another.. which is fine.. but the quiet talking becomes loud to the point where you sometimes can't hear the bride!
At my friend's bridal shower the one thing I did like was that she didn't just have gifts to the side and forget about them. She had many tables set up so that you could walk around them and view all her gifts. At one point she asked different tables to walk up and take a look. When you originally walked into the party.. she was able to look at the present and thank the person immediatly. It was very different.. it was nice.. but I like opening presents and will do it the old fashion way! lol
Re: display bridal shower
In many cases, I would agree with this, but I also think this depends on who's invited and why. FI's extended family is pretty close, and most of them go to all of the family get togethers. At his niece's shower last year, there were at least 30 adult guests just from Fi's family alone, and I expect it will be the same way with ours. In his family, to not invite all of them to something like a shower would be considered rude and cause hurt feelings. However, if someone's inviting a ton of people that aren't relatives and they aren't that close to, then yeah, definitely gift grabby.
As far as the display shower, I've never heard of one either. From the description others have offered, though, it doesn't sound like the bride handles the gifts and cards at all during the actual shower. And, from your question, it also doesn't sound like display showers are the norm in your circle. If this is the case, then I think you have to ask yourself if your guests will be cool with this kind of shower. If you have any doubt about whether or not this type of shower will fly with your guests, then you should probably ask your mom and sister to reconsider the type of shower they throw for you.
[QUOTE]When you have a come and go shower, it is typical (at least in my city) for the hostesses to unwrap the gifts and display them with the name cards. That is because guests will COME AND GO during the two hour span which doesn't allow a time for all the guests to watch the bride unwrap the gifts. Come and go showers are so much better than having to sit in a room and watch the bride be subjected to stupid games and unwrap five million gifts. SO boring!!!
Posted by depiaml[/QUOTE]
<div>AGREED! I hate the games! ALL of them!</div>
good luck!
I requested a display bridal shower because I knew there would be at least 50 people at my shower.
Also - I resent the comment that over 30 guests is "gift grabby". Some people have large families who happen to be very close knit. I am the oldest of 27 grandchildren on my dad's side alone. With my fiances family and mine, I'm looking at around 70 guests for my shower. Just pointing out that it is offensive to some to put a numerical limit on intimacy.
[QUOTE]The only thing odd to me is that when people bring gifts to bridal showers, tradition is that the MOH keeps the ribbons from the wrapped packages to make the practice bouquet for the reception. My MOH is doing that at my bridal shower. To me it just creates another little memoribilia. But to each their own. If this is what your mom wants to do, let her do it, you can always have more than one bridal shower. I'm having two bachelorette parties. One out of town and one in town. It's your wedding do what YOU want.
Posted by dphillips0208[/QUOTE]
I think this might have to do with where you live. I am from NJ and bridal showers are a BIG deal. Your whole family gets invited and mothers ALWAYS throw the party. The more I read posts on the knot, I always think to myself... wow we are all so different and unique!
If a mother did not throw a bridal shower for her daughter where I am from.. people would question it and frown upon it.
I had never heard of this type of shower before (where you don't wrap the gifts) until last year. The invitation had a little saying on it and we were asked to add a tag and a bow. The bride was a friend of mine and she said that she didn't want to go through the hastle of opening a million gifts.
Another thing I noticed and I can't STAND is how at these showers with alot of people.. such as I would have to say.. the majority of the showers I have been to.. people get rude. The talk to one another.. which is fine.. but the quiet talking becomes loud to the point where you sometimes can't hear the bride!
At my friend's bridal shower the one thing I did like was that she didn't just have gifts to the side and forget about them. She had many tables set up so that you could walk around them and view all her gifts. At one point she asked different tables to walk up and take a look. When you originally walked into the party.. she was able to look at the present and thank the person immediatly. It was very different.. it was nice.. but I like opening presents and will do it the old fashion way! lol