Groomsmen gifts

PhillyGal34 · March 2010

I already figured out what I am getting my girls but FI has no idea what to get his guys. He doesn't want to get them flasks, or cufflinks, or anything like that. He was planning on getting them all tickets to a football game and setting up a cool tailgate for them but due to the schedule he cannot do that. Any ideas for what we can get them that would be useful (ie not sit in a drawer) or tacky or insanely expensive?

Thanks!

bablingbrooke · March 2010

He's got a really long time to think about this. Too bad the football thing doesn't work out. But could he do it for baseball, hockey, or basketball? He can do it for a bit after the wedding (give them the tickets around the wedding for the event in a month or so).

baystateapple · March 2010

Why doesn't your FI just shop for the guys individually? Chances are, they have very different personalities and preferences, and what suits one will not suit the others. That way, he can budget accordingly, and everyone is happy.

mbcdefg · March 2010

Our wedding is a month away, and FI only ordered the groomsmen's gifts last week. I started suggesting gift ideas to him a while back (since I have been picking up BM gifts for a few months now), but once I realized that FI wasn't interested in thinking about them just yet I backed off, and he eventually took care of it on his own.

So my advice would be to just relax about this for now, and let your FI come up with something on his own time. You have a TON of time, and he WILL get it done.

The football tickets and tailgate are an awesome idea. Are there any other local sports teams where he could do something similar? Can he do it before/after the wedding week and just make it an early/belated gift?

PhillyGal34 · March 2010

we were going to get the tickets for after the wedding and the only tickets that he could find to have them sit together were like $300 a piece... way over budget since there are 5 of them plus my FI... all of the guys are into football, not so much basketball or hockey and baseball will be in the world series when we get married so we definitely cannot afford those haha

i started getting my BM gifts already and just like to check things off early rather than late. i also don't want to feel rushed at the end and feel like we have to settle on gifts because we dont have time to get them... i also like to keep an eye out for deals so if we pick something soon i have a few months to start looking and helping him find the right thing at the right price. i guess that's why i'm starting out so early... that and almost all my big checks are done so i am focusing on the smaller stuff now.

mbcdefg · March 2010

I agree that it's nice to get things checked off early.

But I also think that GM gifts are HIS responsibility, not yours. If anyone has to rush around near the end and find something, it'll be him, not you. I'm not saying that you should be like, "F you, FI, you're on your own," but I also don't think that asking him to get it done now if he doesn't have any ideas won't work well, either.

He'll get it done. Don't worry about it!

bablingbrooke · March 2010

Yes, but this is for your FI to check off, not you. Don't micromanage things that aren't your problem (like FI getting his GM gifts or your BMs ordering their dresses). DH hadn't even asked his GM yet at nearly 8 months out, so just trust him to do it (and to do it in your budget).

PhillyGal34 · March 2010

that's the thing... he is one of those people that will wait till the last second and spend WAY too much because he has to get them fed exed over night or something... and that will screw up the budget and stress me out.

I agree that it is absolutely his choice as to what to get them.... i am not picking for him! he asked me for suggestions so I thought I'd come on here and see what some other people's FI's got their groomsmen and share those ideas with him. he can then do with it what he wants but everything he has picked out that he thought about getting them had to be ordered months in advance (football tickets are all but sold out, personalized jerseys need 6-8 weeks to be ordered and of course he wouldn't want to get them too late) he hasn't picked a single thing that he could go to the store and just pick up!

bablingbrooke · March 2010

Just reiterate the budget and let him do it on his own. I promise you that it will be a bigger problem if you try to monitor this. Learn to let things go that you don't have control over, and yes, this is one of those things. People will not do things on your schedule throughout the wedding planning process--BMs will order their dresses later than you want, vendors will not get back to you as quickly as you want, lots of things will happen that will force you to recalibrate. That's life.

PhillyGal34 · March 2010

ok so i am supposed to ignore him when he asks for my help??? he ASKED me for suggestions and to help him get some new ideas. So I should just say tough luck, you are on your own??? that 's not how we work.

bablingbrooke · March 2010

No, not at all. You just kept bringing up that you wanted this crossed off the list early and done in such a way that it doesn't stress you out and you're being told that this isn't on your list of things to worry about. Totally give hims suggestions but then let him do it on his schedule.

Since you mention that the other sports events probably won't work, he could do a guys' night out for the night of said football game--take them out for dinner and a beer to watch the game.

PhillyGal34 · March 2010

ok i guess i didn't explain well haha sorry! we've been checking things off together so i guess that's why i didn't even think of it as his or my task. we don't really have separate lists so we've been working together to get things checked off

great idea with the night out... now he is thinking personalized jerseys ... i'm sure it will change a million times though. i'll pass along that suggestion though! thanks!

mbcdefg · March 2010

FI got them Oakley sunglasses. He also kicked around the idea of hockey/baseball tickets (maybe paired with a jersey or a nice cap), Leatherman tools, cigars/liquor, a [whatever item they like] of the month club membership, Omaha Steaks gift cards and wristwatches.

I really liked these cufflinks because they're made from MLB stadium seats, but they're very pricey and our groomsmen (a student and a policeman) would never wear them after the wedding so they'd be a waste of money: http://tinyurl.com/yzx2d4t

I also think that the "let it go for a while" advice helps because it sometimes works better if you take a fresh look at something like this after a break. A few months ago, I kept suggesting things to FI and he turned them all down, so I dropped the subject entirely. Then about three weeks ago, he said to me out of nowhere, "Think the guys would like nice sunglasses?" So maybe you both need a break from this so that you can have more time to think it over without feeling pressured.

PhillyGal34 · March 2010

thanks for all those suggestions... i am going to pass them on and tell him to just think about it for a while and see what he thinks. he keeps bringing it up but maybe some time not thinking about it will help. thanks!

Groomsmen gifts

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