Clothing for a Difficult Family

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Here! Seriously OP, FI's family is a bunch of HUGE rednecks, and I'm not even touching clothing with them. I.just.don't.care. Repeat after me: I can't control what other people wear. And I don't believe you that someone asked if they needed to wear shoes. I don't believe you at all.

mwhitson14 · December 2009

And just to prove my redneckiness, I am laying in bed trying to quiet down after work because I'm going deer hunting in the morning. Yeeeeeah. The camo is laid out and ready to go.

brimcleod · December 2009

oy vey. i thought we were over this?

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Over what? Did I miss something? I'm late, sorry.

brimcleod · December 2009

over my old posts in "wedding party" & such.

ExpatPumpkin · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clothing-difficult-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b100f4ab-93d6-4042-b59c-284d290e8765Post:c44dabcd-05e4-407d-8027-f2f1f9dbd54b">Re: Clothing for a Difficult Family</a>:
[QUOTE]over my old posts in "wedding party" & such.
Posted by brimcleod[/QUOTE]

<div>Just be good-natured about it and keep posting new stuff. We will forgive and forget ;) People have started off worse than you and become accepted posters...</div>

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Ah ok. In all seriousness, please don't stress about this. FI's uncle showed up to FSIL's church wedding, literally just out of the duck blind in his camo clothes, and did I give him the serious side eye? YES! But did I give the bride a serious side eye? NO! Should came hunting clothes show up in church? In my opinion, no. But you absolutely can not dictate what someone else will wear to your wedding. Even if that means they don't wear shoes.

beatlesgirl25 · December 2009

Expat has a good point, but you should understand that anything you post here is going to shape how people perceive you. They can't just forget your MOH drama because it's a different thread. So if you come off like an entitled bridezilla at some point, that's the voice your next posts will be heard in. Also, if people don't know much else about you, then that's what you're stuck with until you prove otherwise.

For example, if whit had asked this question, I would hear it differently and assume she is genuinely concerned about being respectful to her church dress code, not that her wedding has to look perfect and be held to some crazily controlled standard. Or that she thinks her family is trashy. So like expat said, keep posting, maybe you'll get there. But people have memories like elephants on here, so don't ever expect your old posts to be forgotten.

thesuninherhead · December 2009

In all honesty, one of my mother's aunts (who was not invited) showed up to the ceremony with her husband to 'have a sticky beak' (if you guys don't use that phrase, it means to sneek a look or check out something). He was wearing shorts and I do look at the shot my photog took of this guy standing behind everyone in shorts and cringe, but at the end of the day, I did not care in the slightest. It's not as though these random guests featured in many pictures or stuck on everyone's mind. I was probably the only person who noticed the attire (and mostly because they weren't invited!).

If your guests turn up without shoes, they turn up without shoes. Even if you and all your guests live in a trailer park, I couldn't imagine that anyone would seriously think that turning up without shoes is acceptable, but who really cares if they do? If your wedding is going to look trashy, it'll look trashy regardless of people's shoes and jeans... and if it isn't trashy, a lack of shoes and dresses on a handful of your guests isn't going to make it so.

Nebb · December 2009

No idea if youll ever see this brimcleod, but the great thing about the knot is we can see EVERYTHING youve ever posted, unless you delete it. So if you come across as a bridezilla or a whiny beebee, we see it, and then bring it up whenever you post. A lot of people post on multiple boards so whatever youve complained about or ranted about on WP, has been seen by people who post here. You cant get away from stupid crap you post.

BecW2be · December 2009

I want to know WTH asked if she needed to wear shoes. There's NO WAY that happened, unless you've invited these people, and even then they wore shoes in most episodes (unless they were hangin out at the cement pond, that is.)

[Deleted User] · December 2009

This post just adds to my belief that you are not real. There is no way that there are really people in the world that would ask if they had to wear shoes to a wedding.

georgia_bride09 · December 2009

Okay, I'm from rural Georgia, rednecks all around, and never once have I seen someone at church or a wedding without shoes. NEVER. At Walmart, yes. Church, no.

coughbullshitcough

salt78 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clothing-difficult-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b100f4ab-93d6-4042-b59c-284d290e8765Post:e379f194-0565-4f2d-9305-67be60c62d9a">Re: Clothing for a Difficult Family</a>:
[QUOTE]I would answer this if you didn't already have previous posts containing paragraphs like, "Now, my MOH is being a pain, and not really willing to work for her title. I need her here at the end of January for some planning & a bridal expo, and she's making it very difficult for me. So difficult that I'm getting to the point where I want to demote her. But how do I demote her & put my cousin in her place without hurting any feelings?" If you can't trust your friends/family to wear shoes to your wedding, I think you've got bigger problems than your MOH not 'working' for her title.
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

Hahahahahahaha. Awesome.

I hope everyone shows up to your wedding dressed like hobos.

saisongbird · December 2009

Different things are acceptable in different areas. Where I'm from, it's acceptable to put "cocktail attire re quested or required" on the invite. That will be a faux pax in other areas of the country and will probably be flamed by members of this board. But it IS an option that is socially acceptable where I live.

bbyckes · December 2009

saison, get rid of the huge asss inner bride sig.

salt78 · December 2009

Those are socially acceptable where she comes from.

shellydiane820 · December 2009

Only invite pretty people, with pretty clothes and pretty shoes. Tell your redneck family to go be redneck somewhere else.

vallyhoo · December 2009

Fantastic, Salt.

JanoBean75 · December 2009

1. God doesn't care what people wear to church, so long as people go.

2. Take a deep breath and remember you can't control what people wear.

3. Drink champagne and have fun.

Sort of on-topic. I've been wanting to go to the opera for a while. I am not sure what show I want to see, but I'm keeping my eyes open. Anyway, I called the opera house in Baltimore to inquire about dress code and was told this: "Some people dress to the nines -- white tie. Some come in jeans and a t-shirt. We don't dictate what people should wear -- we're just happy that people come and get a little culture.

brookelynpaisley · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clothing-difficult-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b100f4ab-93d6-4042-b59c-284d290e8765Post:48bea612-f89b-42f1-bc51-6f0f5acdd5e0">Re: Clothing for a Difficult Family</a>:
[QUOTE]Where's whit when you need her? ;)
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Hunting.

hetshup · December 2009

Yes, people should wear shoes in the church. Ask the church if they will let people in without shoes, then let people know they will not be allowed in if they don't have shoes on, per church rules, not yours. As for the reception, I personally don't have any issues with the flip flops, but I don't really understand why you think that your guests will shun their shoes and put on cheap flip flops instead. I have been barefoot at a reception before, b\c I'm klassy like that, and no one cares. Dance have a good time, and if someone comes in their best jeans, be honored. I wouldn't buy camo to go to a redneck wedding, so your guests shouldn't have to buy clothes to adhere to your own personal fashion sensabilities.

PS-- Not to be mean, but you may want to rethink the eye makeup, not exactly formal either. Just sayin.

salt78 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clothing-difficult-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b100f4ab-93d6-4042-b59c-284d290e8765Post:015b1b4a-552c-4d5b-9e9f-1996c25623b6">Re: Clothing for a Difficult Family</a>:
[QUOTE]PS-- Not to be mean, but you may want to rethink the eye makeup, not exactly formal either. Just sayin.
Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

Holy crap get out of my head. I was just looking at her profile, laughed for 10 minutes, and then read this.

I'm also slightly dismayed by the "McLeod" in the OP's screenname and hope to god that I'm not somehow distantly related to her.

rainsfallsoftly · December 2009

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about the situation. My cousin just recently went to a wedding where the bride's father changed out of his tux for the reception and wore a tux t-shirt instead. Waaaay too informal, but there's nothing anyone could really do about it. At that point, you just need to say to h-ll with it and have a good time regardless of how badly anyone is dressed.

squirrly · December 2009

I'm also from BFE, have family that still lives in BFE, and went to college halfway between here and Whit, in a town of 5000 people.

I don't know anyone that thinks you can go to church without shoes. In blue jeans - yes. T-shirts - yes. But not barefoot. And, the people who think jeans and t-shirts are ok for church would NEVER do that for a wedding. Just for the odd church day where they can't get more dressed up for some reason.

The thing about the rural south is this - they take church seriously.

I too call bullshit on this.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

Technically, most restaurants or places that serve food won't allow someone without shoes in, due to health code. So depending on where the reception is, its possible you could claim shoes are a requirement.

But if you put "shoes required" on your invites, it will most definitely look like a redneck wedding.

betrothed123 · December 2009

Please put "Shoes Required" on your invite and then post a picture here for us!

I took my shoes off during my reception. It nullified my marriage. H saw my shoes off, and walked out.

Seriously, though, don't let it get to you. I had a guest show up in sweats, and then brag to all of my guests that he just bought a brand new "suit" for our wedding. It really had no effect on our day, and it didn't ruin our pictures, even though he is in a number of them.

ricksang · December 2009

I realize you don't want them wearing jeans and tees in a church but sometimes it happens. If it does, it's their problem. I wouldn't sweat the small stuff, and this is small stuff!

lyndausvi · December 2009

barefoot?? Really?

As some of these ladies know I'm barefoot everyday at work. I never wear shoes at home. I mean NEVER. Yet I would never think of going barefoot to a wedding.

I can't imagine what kind of family and friends you have that this is even a concern.

beatlesgirl25 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clothing-difficult-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b100f4ab-93d6-4042-b59c-284d290e8765Post:27a51638-f0b4-4351-8990-eacbd950940a">Re: Clothing for a Difficult Family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Clothing for a Difficult Family : It is?
Posted by mag920[/QUOTE]

Mag, I think I was misunderstanding OP's flip flop idea (now it sounds like she was going to provide them so guests would have shoes at the reception, period). It might not be the most tacky thing at a formal wedding, but I think they are still pretty tacky for the bride. Unless your wedding is on the beach or somewhere near water. I'm thinking more like weddings where the bride and BMs switch to foam platform flip flops or bare feet at the reception and then drag their dresses around some ballroom floor, collecting dust and crap, all night with dirty feet. It bugs me. So I thought OP was saying, "everyone has to dress their klassiest best for my pretty wedding, but then I'm passing out flip flops for the reception," which seemed contradictory.

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