Thanks

patricidelight · September 2010

So I suppose Im the asshole...THanks for clearing that up.

MyNameIsNot · September 2010

Seriously? You need to calm down.

I don't see what the big deal is about the dress. A little promish, but who cares? And if she looks bad, it reflects on her, not you.

Trying not to be a bridezilla my left foot. Getting bent out of shape about what someone else wears is text book bridezilla behavior.

mandysmear · September 2010

Well then.

mandysmear · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_step-daughters-dress-seriously-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:34d8a5f6-fb5f-450a-8008-cf03cb9e23a7Post:d18f9008-3009-46e0-820d-b74dfb087c79">Step-daughters dress SERIOUSLY???????</a>:
[QUOTE]I need a moment to either laugh or cry about this one.... My Future step daughter went and bought a dress for the wedding. She asked if it needed to be a certain color. I told her no, well except for white. I know now I should have been more specific. She is a woman in her 20's, who has bought a dress that even I would be uncomfortable in and I weigh 110lbs. Now she is double that, and im not saying that the weight is the factor...its the dress. Well to be quite honest her weight in the dress.This is NOT a formal wedding. It will be a nice backyard wedding but far from formal.The dress has more rhinestones than anything I have ever seen and its backless. I am attaching a picture so you guys can see it. Not only all of this but the dress is red! Am I totally off my rocker for being a bit peeved about this? Is she honestly trying to steal my spotlight? Her dad says "she dosent know any better". I call bullshit on that one! She was supposed to hand out the programs but as of right now, I'm not sure if that is the first impression I want to give my guests. I am trying my darndest to not be a bridezilla, but wow! I have decided to not say a word to her and let her wear the dress and just say whatever about it! With all of the info I have given which is basically all of it, What do you guys think?
Posted by patricidelight[/QUOTE]

heartxsongs · September 2010

Let it go. She picked a dress that she likes, and it's not a wedding dress. I doubt her goal in buying the dress was to pick one that upstaged you. It will be okay! Breathe and calm down.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2010

Well, better her back hanging out than her boobs.

brilibby4 · September 2010

I think the dress is pretty. It looks a bit too formal for the wedding you described, but it certainly doesn't look inappropriate or flashy. I also certainly doubt she is trying to steal the spotlight...she probably bought a dress she thought was beautiful and flattering. You don't get to choose what your guests wear.

AdeleDazeem · September 2010

She's not trying to steal the spotlight for christ's sake.

baystateapple · September 2010

What's the problem with a red dress? All of my BMs will be in red.

It's not the worst thing I've ever seen. And her clothing choices (and weight) are none of your business.

emilyinchile · September 2010

The only issue I see is that it sounds like it's a bit too formal for the event, but did you ever tell her formality? If all you said was "not white," she may have wanted to look nice for her dad's wedding and thought going this fancy was a good thing. In any case, I see absolutely no problem with it if she feels comfortable in it, and I don't see why you make it sound like red is a bad thing...it's not white, she followed your only stipulation.

AliGirl11 · September 2010

Oh jeez. Get over it.

Rosie109 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_step-daughters-dress-seriously-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:34d8a5f6-fb5f-450a-8008-cf03cb9e23a7Post:d18f9008-3009-46e0-820d-b74dfb087c79">Step-daughters dress SERIOUSLY???????</a>:
[QUOTE]I need a moment to either laugh or cry about this one.... My Future step daughter went and bought a dress for the wedding. She asked if it needed to be a certain color. I told her no, well except for white. I know now I should have been more specific. She is a woman in her 20's, who has bought a dress that even I would be uncomfortable in and I weigh 110lbs. Now she is double that, and im not saying that the weight is the factor...its the dress. Well to be quite honest her weight in the dress.This is NOT a formal wedding. It will be a nice backyard wedding but far from formal.The dress has more rhinestones than anything I have ever seen and its backless. I am attaching a picture so you guys can see it. Not only all of this but the dress is red! Am I totally off my rocker for being a bit peeved about this? Is she honestly trying to steal my spotlight? Her dad says "she dosent know any better". I call bullshit on that one! She was supposed to hand out the programs but as of right now, I'm not sure if that is the first impression I want to give my guests. I am trying my darndest to not be a bridezilla, but wow! I have decided to not say a word to her and let her wear the dress and just say whatever about it! With all of the info I have given which is basically all of it, What do you guys think?
Posted by patricidelight[/QUOTE]

So we are done here... right?

I think we are. move along everyone. nothing to see here.

leah2b · September 2010

Why do you care what she is wearing?

opalsky007 · September 2010

Yeah, it's a bad dress. But if she loves it, and you told her it would be fine to pick out whatever she wants, that's it. If she looks like a fool, SHE looks like a fool. Not you.

I will never understand why weddings make people so bent out of shape about what the people around them wear.

ohwhynot · September 2010

Your fat stepdaughter chose a long, red, sparkly dress to wear to her father's wedding.

IMO, she either did it because 1. she loves the dress and feels pretty in it or 2. she knows it would bug the crap out of you.

I have a sneaking suspicion that she knows how disgusted you are about her weight (please don't protest that you don't care about her weight - you obviously do. The "I weigh 110 lbs and she's twice that!" makes it more than obvious), so reason #2 wouldn't surprise me.

heyimbren · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_step-daughters-dress-seriously-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:34d8a5f6-fb5f-450a-8008-cf03cb9e23a7Post:119ceebb-688e-46cd-b77c-f667c6e66860">Re: Step-daughters dress SERIOUSLY???????</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you not supposed to wear red to a wedding? Because I love red, it looks great on my indian skin tone, and I've worn it to weddings before. I certainly hope no one reacted the way OP is behind my back. And yeah, I like the dress. I'd wear that. Not to a backyard BBQ wedding, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

Culturally, I think it depends but I think in the past in Western societies it was considered poor taste to wear red to a wedding. You really weren't supposed to. But I didn't realize people still considered it to be an issue at all.

The dress isn't what I'd pick. It's just NMS, but honestly if she picked it and feels good in it... well you're still getting married, right?

Birdie1483 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_step-daughters-dress-seriously-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:34d8a5f6-fb5f-450a-8008-cf03cb9e23a7Post:d18f9008-3009-46e0-820d-b74dfb087c79">Step-daughters dress SERIOUSLY???????</a>:
[QUOTE]I need a moment to either laugh or cry about this one.... My Future step daughter went and bought a dress for the wedding. She asked if it needed to be a certain color. I told her no, well except for white. I know now I should have been more specific. She is a woman in her 20's, who has bought a dress that even I would be uncomfortable in and I weigh 110lbs. Now she is double that, and im not saying that the weight is the factor...its the dress. Well to be quite honest her weight in the dress.This is NOT a formal wedding. It will be a nice backyard wedding but far from formal.The dress has more rhinestones than anything I have ever seen and its backless. I am attaching a picture so you guys can see it. Not only all of this but the dress is red! Am I totally off my rocker for being a bit peeved about this? Is she honestly trying to steal my spotlight? Her dad says "she dosent know any better". I call bullshit on that one! She was supposed to hand out the programs but as of right now, I'm not sure if that is the first impression I want to give my guests. I am trying my darndest to not be a bridezilla, but wow! I have decided to not say a word to her and let her wear the dress and just say whatever about it! With all of the info I have given which is basically all of it, What do you guys think?
Posted by patricidelight[/QUOTE]

This is the part I took offense to. It must be nice to be 110lbs, but some of us aren't so lucky. We don't need our future step-moms making snarky comments about how we might look in a dress because we're a little heavier. Before you get married, you might want to adjust this attitude if you want to have a good relationship with her.

And yeah, she might be a little too formal for your backyard wedding. But if you say and act to people IRL the way you seemed to have done on here, you will stand out, but for the wrong reasons.

xyrius · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_step-daughters-dress-seriously-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:34d8a5f6-fb5f-450a-8008-cf03cb9e23a7Post:5a7bb2fe-3c15-47a6-8110-becda78d9717">Re: Step-daughters dress SERIOUSLY???????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Step-daughters dress SERIOUSLY??????? : This is the part I took offense to. It must be nice to be 110lbs, but some of us aren't so lucky. We don't need our future step-moms making snarky comments about how we might look in a dress because we're a little heavier. Before you get married, you might want to adjust this attitude if you want to have a good relationship with her. And yeah, she might be a little too formal for your backyard wedding. But if you say and act to people IRL the way you seemed to have done on here, you will stand out, but for the wrong reasons.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

Very well said Birdie.

georgia_bride09 · September 2010

She's in her 20's and you made her the program attendant? I'd probably buy a fancy red dress too if my step-mom acted like you do.

Manwaithiel · September 2010

Your kidding...right?

I agree with a PP that your stepdaughter is doing this to piss you off cause you apparently feel the need to judge her weight. I like the dress. I think it's fine.

Ridiculous.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

I agree with OWN.

In my opinion, it's an ugly dress that you would find at a prom or cheesy high school dance, not a wedding. If I saw someone wearing it at a wedding, I'd wonder WTF they were thinking. But other than that, I also get the feeling that you look down on her because of her weight and she probably knows it, and wants to annoy you. I would have been temped to do the same thing at my dad's wedding with his third wife, which is probably why she didn't let me come.

kikibaby · September 2010

You're welcome! Hope it fixed your bad attitude.

mandysmear · September 2010

I knew she wouldn't last.

patricidelight · September 2010

Thank you all so much for all of your opinions.

Have a fabulous day

ohwhynot · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_step-daughters-dress-seriously-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:34d8a5f6-fb5f-450a-8008-cf03cb9e23a7Post:d18f9008-3009-46e0-820d-b74dfb087c79">Thanks</a>:
[QUOTE] So I suppose Im the asshole...THanks for clearing that up.
Posted by patricidelight[/QUOTE]

Pretty much.

But you don't have to be - you can change the way you look at your stepdaughter and, hopefully, cultivate a good relationship with her. It's up to you.

kikibaby · September 2010

Well, who would be the asshole when a grown woman is being catty with a girl who is probably HALF her age (even if she is twice your weight)?

mandysmear · September 2010

wow. you guys are all so miserable. i feel sorry for your fiances.

laladypoet · September 2010

is this your second wedding? do you really NEED the spotlight?

L-Bride · September 2010

I don't understand brides who actually think someone is "stealing their spotlight". It's the most insane ridiculous idea I have ever heard and any bride that thinks that is clearly a paranoid head case. It's not possible to steal anything from the bride on her wedding day since it's...well her wedding day

Thanks

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