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27 Year old flower girl...

karit3karit3 member
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in Moms and Maids
Hello. My fiance and I are not having a wedding party at all - no bridesmaids or groomsmen. We want to keep things simple. However, a friend of mine has begged me to allow her to be a flower girl because it has been a lifelong dream of hers and she never got to be one. We thought, why not? We're certainly not very traditional people but now I'm wondering if my sister and close friends will be offended that she is in the wedding and they are not...
What should I do?
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Re: 27 Year old flower girl...

  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you don't want a wedding party, don't have one.  Don't ask her just because she begged.  That was tacky on her part.

    I also wouldn't ask her if you think it would lead to drama, especially between you and your sister.  Those are the kind of slights that can last a lifetime.
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  • Robyn5298Robyn5298 member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    To be perfectly honest, I would find a grown woman flower "girl" to be very weird.  But that's just my opinion!

    If you and your fiance want her to be the flower girl, go ahead and ask her.  But do it because you want to, not to fulfill her lifelong dream.  As for your sister and close friends, you don't need to ask them if you don't want a WP.  But since the flower girl technically is part of the wedding party, they might feel slighted if this other friend was the only one chosen, especially if you're not that close to her.  I feel like once you let in the flower girl your no wedding party rule goes out the window.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    It's not the worst thing in the world to have a 27 year old flower as your only wedding party member, I suppose. I think it's absolutely ludicrous of her to beg for the position, though. If you don't want a flower girl, don't have one. She can beg someone else.
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    A grown woman FG is pretty effed up IMHO.

    I'm all for nontraditional things, but not for those that could potentially drive rift between you and your siblings-especially over something so petty.
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  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't know your sister and friends - but I doubt they'll take it as a slight that the woman is a FG and they aren't BMs. 
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We didn't have a WP either, but my BFF gave a toast and my other very close friend greeted people and helped them find their seats.  Those are things that your friend can do that would be appropriate and helpful to you.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'd think it was silly.  And I find it odd that a 27 year old woman would beg to AW as an FG in a wedding.  But it's not my wedding, and not my AW-ish friend.
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  • bdulli13bdulli13 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's okay. I think your siblings and close friends will be able to tell who the nutty one in the situation is. But, a flower girl IS part of the WP. So, you may have some explaining to do about that. Well, that and the fact that she's an adult. I don't think you're weird for being passive about it, but I do think she's weird for begging.
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  • slave4danceslave4dance
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I dont see anything wrong with the age of anyone being a flower girl (I was one at 25 this past november) however like the other PP's said ifi its going to cause drama and you want to still keep things simple, you don't have to have her in it. She can contribute as a reader during the ceremony or as a greeter or wherever else you need people if she really wants to be a part of your wedding that badly. Good Luck :)
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think it's perfectly fine to have an adult flower girl, but the fact that this might cause drama with other family means that you should probably stick to your decision of not having a WP.
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  • lilcasserslilcassers member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    lol poor girl. Seems like she wants the attention that she never got as a child. I used to always want to be a FG and never got to be one, HOWEVER, I was excited to be a BRIDESMAID for my 2 friends weddings. I would never call myself a flowergirl in my twenties. I would politely decline her. It is your wedding and frankly a little pushy to beg you to stand up.
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  • mystinamariemystinamarie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    A 27 yr old flower girl is just odd. I doubt anybody attending would even realize she WAS a flower girl. I'd just assume she was the only matron of honor or a solo bridesmaid. If you aren't including any close friends or female relatives in the wedding party but include her standing up there with you it might offend some people/confuse others.

    Not to be rude, but why would a 27 yr old woman hold onto "being a flower girl" as a lifelong dream??
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    To me it sounds very odd. How exactly would her being a FG be different from a BM? Would she wear a frilly white dress? That would be weired. 
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  • jcamm11jcamm11 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Will she be in a white gown as well, like little flower girls wear a white gown to mimic the bride?  That might be awkward if anyone confuses her as the bride..

    I think it's weird, but I'm picturing her wearing pig tails, a short, white babydoll dress, and round-toed, buckle-up dress shoes with white tights tossing flowers and skipping gleefully like a 4 year old then getting a gigantic lolipop for making it down the isle.
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  • joiner521joiner521
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ......Um, I think you should buy her a barbie instead.
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  • karit3karit3 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok. I was pretty sure I shouldn't do it. I don't mind the weirdness of it but it would be confusing. It really is too much like being a bridesmaid and if I wanted to go that route I would ask my sister first.  I had no idea what she was going to wear, other than not white. I'll have to let her down gently. Thanks for the advice ladies!
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