Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?

Ssanders06 · June 2012

So, I was wondering for those out of towners who aren't coming to the shower and the wedding...should I put my registries on the invitations for them? I know most guest who can't come to the shower and show up to the wedding just give money...but I was leaning towards the fact that it might be tacky to put it on the invite...I just want opinion. Thanks...HELP

StephF1984 · June 2012

I put mine in with my invites, even though on websites it advises you not to. We're getting married across the country where we are from so from my opinion it was better. I have had no negative comments about it, only people saying what a great idea since they know everyone is busy with wedding plans.

Jessimb0587 · June 2012

Do NOT put registry information on the invitation. Big no-no. People will either give you money or contact parents etc. who know your registry information. If you have a wedding website, you could put your registry info on there. Then you can put the website on an insert or something. (But still, don't say anything about a registry)

Lisa50 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:23545951-3789-45d8-b130-138a49417be4">Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I was wondering for those out of towners who aren't coming to the shower and the wedding...should I put my registries on the invitations for them? I know most guest who can't come to the shower and show up to the wedding just give money...but I was leaning towards the fact that it might be tacky to put it on the invite...I just want opinion. Thanks...HELP
Posted by Ssanders06[/QUOTE]

My opinion is that registry information should not be included on your wedding invitation. Including registry information in shower invitations is OK. Neither invitation should have any mention of cash.

kmmssg · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:82f089d2-fb70-40f1-b3be-7eb7f0eedb5f">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I put mine in with my invites, even though on websites it advises you not to. We're getting married across the country where we are from so from my opinion it was better. I have had no negative comments about it, only people saying what a great idea since they know everyone is busy with wedding plans.
Posted by StephF1984[/QUOTE]

<div>It doesn't matter where you are getting married. Most anyone can get your registry info with a google search or a phone call. It is very tacky to include it in the invitations.</div><div>People will never say anything to your face but when my stepdd did this 7 years ago there were PLENTY of comments made behind her back about it.</div>

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Absolutely not! This is viewed as being gift-grabby!

AdeleDazeem · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:82f089d2-fb70-40f1-b3be-7eb7f0eedb5f">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I put mine in with my invites, even though on websites it advises you not to. We're getting married across the country where we are from so from my opinion it was better. I have had no negative comments about it, only people saying what a great idea since they know everyone is busy with wedding plans.
Posted by StephF1984[/QUOTE]

On the etiquette board you need to offer up proper etiquette advice. In the case of registry info on wedding invitations, it is never acceptable. Shower invitiations? Sure. But absolutely not on wedding invitations. And of course no one said anything to you - you don't follow up rude behavior by pointing out said rude behavior.

OP - Guests know that the couple will usually register. There are usually only a few suspects where the registry could be (BBB, Macys, Target, Crate and Barrel, etc) so it's not too hard to find it without being lead to it. Also, a quick google search or phone call will also turn up the registry info. Direct mention of gifts shouldn't be made on a wedding invitation. The idea is that you want to celebrate with your guests, not demand presents. I know you don't mean it that way, but putting it on the invitation will make it seem that way.

EC88 · June 2012

I just received an invitation with their registry in it and I appreciated it but it sounds like the general agreement is that it is a no-no. I think including it on the website might be a good idea though.

chattychiqa · June 2012

Agree with the insert but not on the invitation itself. My website had information on our backgrounds, where we met, hotels in the area, the venue, as well as the registry. We included a blurb about the website and password on the insert. I think it'll go over well, but generally speaking, I sort of see it on the actual invitation as saying "Please come, and buy me..." in the same breath. If cost is an issue, many knotties have gotten free business cards on vista print and put the info on those. Good luck :-)

goobersinlove · June 2012

It is beyond tacky - it's considered rude. Please don't do this.

Strv2perfection · June 2012

I don't find it rude or tacky its actually convenient for me. I don't have the time to call someone to find out where your registered! I probably won't be doing this because I'm not have a traditional wedding.

gurrlballa10 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:3c4fc653-8d0c-43d7-8f44-e1d4ebc58743">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't find it rude or tacky its actually convenient for me. I don't have the time to call someone to find out where your registered! I probably won't be doing this because I'm not have a traditional wedding.
Posted by Strv2perfection[/QUOTE]

This is the etiquette board though. So what your opinion is, doesn't actually hold any weight in this matter. Proper etiquette says that this is a HUGE no-no.

Strv2perfection · June 2012

We have all opinions I'm just giving mine. I don't really care where it's posted.

kmmssg · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:f2eb25f2-524b-403a-b532-f061e7c03f5d">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]We have all opinions I'm just giving mine. I don't really care where it's posted.
Posted by Strv2perfection[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm still stuck on the fact you don't have time to make a phone call to find out where someone is registered. So you NEVER talk on the phone or make calls because you just don't have the time?</div><div>
</div><div>If someone is posting on the etiquette board they aren't looking for opinions, they are looking for proper etiquette.</div>

[Deleted User] · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:3c4fc653-8d0c-43d7-8f44-e1d4ebc58743">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't find it rude or tacky its actually convenient for me. I don't have the time to call someone to find out where your registered! I probably won't be doing this because I'm not have a traditional wedding.
Posted by Strv2perfection[/QUOTE]

yet....people have plenty of time to read and resond to blogs, but NOOOOO time to make a simple phone call, send an email, search a few name brand stores for a couple's registry? GMAFB!
Registering has never been easier now that you can do it all online. For heaven's sake your guests have a brain, they will find a registry, or they will write you a check.
DON'T ever put it on a wedding invite.

misssunshine17 · June 2012

Please don't. Very tacky. If people want to find out, they will.

saacjw · June 2012

I was under the impression that this was one of the most agreed on pieces of etiquette. It's never OK to include registry info on the invites. It's also pretty bad form to even include an insert with that info. Websites, bridal party, word of mouth- that's how you get the registry info out.

frantastic12 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:3c4fc653-8d0c-43d7-8f44-e1d4ebc58743">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't find it rude or tacky its actually convenient for me. I don't have the time to call someone to find out where your registered! I probably won't be doing this because I'm not have a traditional wedding.
Posted by Strv2perfection[/QUOTE]

But you have time to post bad advice on TK....

Anyway, OP, there was a poster here not too long ago who included a registry insert in her invitations, and a few of her guests <u>actually sent them back</u> with the RSVP as a not-so-subtle hint that it was rude to include with the wedding invitation. So spare yourself this awkwardness and don't include it with the wedding invitations.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

Don't put it on their invitation or as an insert. Nowadays, it is super easy to find out where someone is registered. You can go on Target or BBB or any of the major places people register, type in the bride or groom's name and voila! If they're registered there, it pops up.

Or, you know, you could call, text, e-mail, or FB message someone and ask where they're registered which takes about 5 seconds. It really isn't difficult. I've never received a wedding invitation that included the registry (thank God!) but have always been able to find out on my own quite easily.

expatmrs · June 2012

Don't include it. If your guests really want to buy you a gift off your registry, they will put in the effort to ask someone. Word of mouth is best. Putting the registry info with your invitation is basically TELLING them to buy you a gift.

pkontk · June 2012

As PPs mentioned, it is not appropriate to put registry info on wedding invitations. We're including our wedding web site for logistical information. The web site itself has a registry tab, and I put it at the very bottom so it didn't look like we were saying "Welcome to our wedding web site! Buy us things!"

jmp2004 · June 2012

I did an insert with my invitation that said there would be dinner afterwards, and then said to RSVP and for additional info <website>. I assume it worked well. All of our RSVP's were through the website, although most didn't bother and we knew they wouldnt. But the website had all of our info, which was nice because it's a DW.

ameliah19 · June 2012

I'm glad I found this post because I told someone the other day that I thought proper etiquette said not to include registries with invitations and they argued with me to the point that I almost decided to do it. Glad I'm not going too :-)

kimandjosh22 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:0e0ab1f1-b3a5-400a-946f-8da6e47c191f">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was under the impression that this was one of the most agreed on pieces of etiquette. It's never OK to include registry info on the invites. It's also pretty bad form to even include an insert with that info. Websites, bridal party, word of mouth- that's how you get the registry info out.
Posted by saacjw[/QUOTE]

I can see how this may have become a muddy point because registries have become such a big thing and stores (obviously wanting to push their product) hand brides all sorts of inserts and coupons peddling them as invitation inserts, I can understand people being confused (I was...I'm the first wedding in my friend group and family, I've felt like I'm going into things blind through this whole process). But just because store are marketing their registry service heavily doesn't mean its right, and it certainly doesn't change etiquette.

erin7264 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:660c38a7-ba90-4d70-a643-bcf5435ce319">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just received a wedding invite with a registry insert. I groaned. On one hand, the poor bride has had ZERO help with her wedding from anyone and doesn't have a clue what she's doing. She is flying blind like mad and it frustrates me that I'm constantly hearing how her family demands this or that after the fact that they didn't help her at all. On the other hand, wedding websites like this one and magazines and such are plentiful; she could have picked one up and found this stuff out at any time. I had loved ones to guide me and I still researched like crazy because I was afraid that some etiquette would be outdated (I was right). I've received at least 4 invitations in the last 4 years with blatant etiquette faux-pas.
Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

This!

Thanks to TK, I knew better. However, both FI and his mom and a few of his other relatives have said we should've put the registry info on the invitation. I explained to FI that TK said it was a BIIIIG no-no, gift-grabby, etc. and just kind of brushed off the others. It's worked especially well since we're in the middle of closing on our house, so I've been able to blame it on the fact that we weren't sure where we were going to live at the time (and would prefer cash, anyway!). I've had a few people ask about registries and have no problem pointing them in the right direction.

MangoSong · June 2012

Registry goes on the website. You can direct people to the website, where all the information will be.

catwine · June 2012

my mom recently got an invite that had a little card to let guests know where the bride and groom are registered. she thought it was very rude and i don't think other guests really paid attention to it (i photographed the shower and half the stuff they got was from other stores).

i think it really depends on the kind of guests you are inviting...older guests probably won't go through the hassel of trying to figure out registries and close family will probably just ask you outright.

aragx6 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:a03c52fb-b8e5-4ae4-a1b1-bc60aeb46f2f">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]my mom recently got an invite that had a little card to let guests know where the bride and groom are registered. she thought it was very rude and i don't think other guests really paid attention to it (<strong>i photographed the shower and half the stuff they got was from other stores</strong>). i think it really depends on the kind of guests you are inviting...older guests probably won't go through the hassel of trying to figure out registries and close family will probably just ask you outright.
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

Honestly I wouldn't be at all surprised if that was <em>because</em> they put the registry information in with the invitations -- when people are so overtly rude it definitely makes me want to go off registry.

My 86 year old grandmother has been figuring out where people are registered for many many years. It's not a hassle and it's not difficult.

MangoSong · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registries-on-the-invitationstacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5c2ea630-a6ba-412f-8652-61888b84cf3aPost:1c7b4d1f-344e-4151-a1de-46cf65fdb2b9">Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registries on the Invitations??Tacky? : Honestly I wouldn't be at all surprised if that was because they put the registry information in with the invitations -- when people are so overtly rude it definitely makes me want to go off registry. My 86 year old grandmother has been figuring out where people are registered for many many years. It's not a hassle and it's not difficult.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
Exactly. My completely computer illiterate mother can figure out wedding websites, then I'm sure other people can too. Not to mention, I know my mother would be super offended if she got the registry on or with the invitation.

Ssanders06 · June 2012

Thanks everyone for helping out. I was leaning towards that it would seem tacky. I have never seen it done. Plus my invites are done and it would mean me going back and making room. Thanks everyone!

FutureMrsMDJahnke · June 2012

Wow, I lurk a lot, and I have never seen so many bad ettique supporters in one post! What is up today?!

Registries on the Invitations??Tacky?

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