Job for young cousin

Re: Job for young cousin

• Simply Fated member

  

  November 2012 edited November 2012

  My first instinct is to tell you not to give in to these people.
  
  However, what about giving her the job of handing out the programs or favors or something like that? This way, if she refuses to do her task the day of, it's not a big deal. You can just have the programs (or what ever) on a table and guests can pick them up themselves.
  
  I still dont' think you should give in to them, but either way, good luck!
  
  
  ETA: spelling fail

  
  

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• Burtonbaby145 member

  

  November 2012

  Ha trust me I would much rather not give in to them, but they way they handle things they would somehow drag the whole family into it... Oh, and anther possibility if they did not want to play the race card this time could also be that my cousin is so beautiful I am just afraid she would take attention away from me so I didnt put her in it. I have heard that one from them in similar situations... My cousin is beatiful, no doubt, but still, really sad this is how she's being raised so it's no wonder she's such a brat! But I digress thanks for the program idea, I did not even think of that! Only thing I came up with was asking her to man the guest book, but I could even ask her to do both! Thanks so much!

  Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. ? J.M. Barrie

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• radleyboo member

  

  November 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_job-for-young-cousin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf1bf9bc-f5aa-4ca3-94cc-cfa766e2cbe6Post:cfb01929-9eb7-4a8a-afe7-0e4809d07ae3">Re: Job for young cousin</a>:
  [QUOTE]My first instinct is to tell you not to give in to these people. <strong>However, what about giving her the job of handing out the programs or favors or something like that? This way, if she refuses to do her task the day of, it's not a big deal. You can just have the programs (or what ever) on a table and guests can pick them up themselves.</strong> I still dont' think you should give in to them, but either way, good luck! ETA: spelling fail
  Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
  
  This.  I was going to suggest the same exact thing for the same reasons.  Hopefully she'll grow out of her attitude problem, for her own sake.  Good luck!

  
  

  Meddied since 6/15/13!

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• Qkellygirl

  

  November 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_job-for-young-cousin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf1bf9bc-f5aa-4ca3-94cc-cfa766e2cbe6Post:66da44de-7415-4d9d-9c88-8a1d33749c53">Job for young cousin</a>:
  [QUOTE]And another much smaller situation I need to address... My cousin is 9 and I as of now have not included her as a part of my wedding other than guest of course. We have two flower girls. A young cousin of mine, and my FI 8 year old cousin I know she's slightly old for it etiquette wise but she literally looks like she's 5, she's tiny, and my FI and I both really wanted her. We also asked my FI's 14 year old cousin and ny best guy friend to do readings during the ceremony. If this were in any family but mine this would be no issue whatsoever, and the cousin and family would be happy to attend as guests. Unfortunately when dealing with my aunt and uncle, nothing's drama free my cousin is mixed race and I am positive that for not making my cousin a flower girl or reader, they will accuse me of not because she is mixed race obviously SO untrue! While I love my cousin as family, sadly the real reason is honestly because she is just a total brat and would pull some sort of stunt like refusing to walk down the aisle or not doing the reading the day of not out of nervousness or anything, just because she 'doesn't feel like it. I am trying to preempt this by asking her to do some sort of other menial task, so I can still say she was asked to do something in the wedding but if she doesn't it's nbd. Any ideas?
  Posted by Burtonbaby145[/QUOTE]
  
  Hi!
  
  I have a similar thing my MOH is my cousin, she has three kids, two of which are my Godchildren. The God Kids are in the wedding party, but I didn't want their brother to feel left out, so I'm assigning him the job of handing out programs as the guests come in. His mom said he be THRILLED to do that. He's seven so I'm having him and another 13 year old cousin do that (she can "supervise" ha ha)
  
  However it sounds like your family likes to create drama and you need to out your foot down at times. I have a friend who was "bullied" into having her friend's daughter as a flower girl and the kid was a spoiled brat.
  
  I hope you can work things out!

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• Kristin789 member

  

  November 2012

  The kid's a brat, so ask your aunt AND her kid (your cousin) to do something together. 
  
  So when people come to the ceremony location, they line up and then they come to the guest book.  And then either A or B below:
  
  A.  Your aunt will welcome each couple warmly, and then her daughter will hand them the pen to sign the book.
  B.  Your aunt will welcome each couple warmly and hand them the pen to sign the book, and then her daughter will hand them the programs.
  
  I would not have this kid be responsible for something independently.  I would absolutely hook her to her mother's side, so that she HAS to do the task and she HAS to do it right.

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