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Moms and Maids

Advice for BM shoes please!

So I am going with an aqua and red theme...with the bridesmaids having aqua dresses, red shoes, and red flowers. I finally picked out the right color aqua that I wanted and got all the information so that the bridesmaids can order. I wrote up a little info card for them with a swatch and on it, said that they can pick out any red shoe that they are comfortable wearing. However, my future sister in law saw this and thinks that it might look a little odd with all different shoes. She is someone who likes order and basically wants to be told what shoes to wear. I am the kind of person who doesn't care if things match just right.

What do you girls think?? I know this could go either way...either it looks kind of tacky or else it might look really cool that everyone has different shoes. On that note, I'm not even sure how much people will really notice the shoes or how much it will really matter when it comes down to my wedding day!

Please let me know what you guys think! I really want an unbias opinion!
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Re: Advice for BM shoes please!

  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    "I appreciate that it might not look like you would picture, dear, but I'm trying to keep all of you girls comfortable and happy.  If you don't like the idea of picking out your own shoes, we can go shopping together."

    You've got the right idea here; no one is going to notice their shoes, and they will be much happier being able to get something comfortable on their feet and comfortable for their budget.  My sister wanted us to wear pink shoes, and since I'm not a pink person, I borrowed a pair.  (They ended up being a different shade than all the other girls got, but my sister didn't seem to care.)

    I had some difficulty convincing my girls that, no really, I don't care, just pick something and be done with it, but I held my ground of not giving a damn, and they all figured out their own accessories.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Your approach is sensible and fair. You most likely won't find one shoe that is comfortable and affordable for everyone. And if you do require a particular shoe or accessories, you should probably pay for them.
    You are right about no one noticing the shoes, except your
    fsil : ) It will look fine.
                       
  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Advice for BM shoes please!:
    [QUOTE]"I appreciate that it might not look like you would picture, dear, but I'm trying to keep all of you girls comfortable and happy.  If you don't like the idea of picking out your own shoes, we can go shopping together." You've got the right idea here; no one is going to notice their shoes, and they will be much happier being able to get something comfortable on their feet and comfortable for their budget. 
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]
    Exactly what Aerin said.

    Just because FSIL wants to wear matching shoes, doesn't mean it's something everyone's going to be comfortable in, and I'd beware of even bringing it up - a lot of girls will say they're okay with it just to avoid making waves.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Print out what aerin said.  Then call your FSIL and read it to her.  Because it's perfect.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    That is perfect! I love it...and it takes away the stress of having to pick out bridesmaid shoes that everyone loves, which is impossible. Thanks!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm definitely letting my girls choose their own shoes. I told them silver and open toe-thats it. I was in my best friend's wedding last year and she bought us all shoes which were horrible! They were definitely cute but they were so painful we had BMs with bleeding feet! Everyone is different with shoes. You can go with a similar style but I wouldn't stick with the same exact shoe for every girl. For the girls like me who need wide width- they will thank you! LOL

    Good luck! :-)
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    my exSIL told us all to get whatever shoes we wanted; she didn't even care what color they were, if they were flats or heels, etc.  Our dresses were floor-length and I don't think I even know what the other girls wore, and I got dressed with them all!

    Though one BM did find a pair at Target that were super cute peep toe and matched the purple of our BM dresses, so she sent us all the link in case we wanted to get them too.  I think something like 3 / 7 ended up wearing those. 

    I think your plan is a solid one, and aerin's adivce is good.

  • edited December 2011
    Personally, I want my girls to wear them all the same for the wedding and for photos. For the reception they can change them but I think it looks so great to have them uniformed with the shoes in pictures, even if they are wearing different styled dresses. I've been to, and seen some pictures from weddings where they do not match and frankly, the bridesmaids don't always have the most beautiful taste! I'd play it safe for the ceremony and pictures!
    P.S.Bakers has the cutest red heels!!!! ;)
    Hope this helps!
    Best of luck and congratulations!
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