My Mom Doesn't Like Him

Re: My Mom Doesn't Like Him

• larina+jeremy member

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  find out the real reason your mom doesnt like him. my mom didnt initially love my fh either. if something happens that bothers or upsets him, he will usually leave for a few minutes to calm down and think about his response. my mom used to claim that was really rude, and use it , the same as your mom, to come up with other reasons not to like him, or she would deliberately misunderstand situations or things he said. when i sat down and talked to her, i fond out that her real concern is that both of our families have a history of addiction, and she was concerned for her potential grandchildren that could be genetically predisposed to addiction! so seriously, talk to your mom cause she feels this way for a reason. maybe she feels you are rushing and that is what makes her so anxious to point out negatives. dont rush to get married, even if this guy really is the one. your wedding will be more fun to plan, less stressful, and way more meaningful if you wait till you really know him, and have a few years of experiences together, and are financially independent. if he really is the one, then he is not going anywhere, so why the rush? 

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• ekathleen684

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_mom-doesnt-like-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ea41985d-dd8e-493c-a4aa-4c05cf433ba0Post:5bdbda9f-707f-431e-8ea1-8fe6432d5959">Re: My Mom Doesn't Like Him</a>:
  [QUOTE]if he really is the one, then he is not going anywhere, so why the rush? 
  Posted by larina+jeremy[/QUOTE]
  
  I agree 100%

  

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• chickadeedeedee

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  Your mom might be against the idea because she's older, has the experience, and actually knows what she's talking about, despite what you might think about her.
  
  Just a thought.
  

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• tafft1 member

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  I found out the hard way my mom didn't like some of my ex's for a damn good reason. Now we had a good solid relationship but i was the typical stubbron girl with rose colored glasses on that figured everything would be okay..but that's a fantasy.
  
  Regardless of the relationship you have she probably is picking up more than just him throwing a fit over stupid stuff. Might be time to step outside the box and look from another perspective , i wish i had taken my mom's advice years ago lol
  

  

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• cellarius

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  i agree that there are 20 year olds who are very mature. not necessarily saying that this sounds like one them though..

  
  

  i would say that almost whoever you are if you're under the age of 25 it's usually rushing if you think you should get married after dating someone a year, especially if you just met them. if that's the case that's pretty nuts imo. in the grand scheme of things you really barely even know someone after a year. it's a honeymoon phase. i mean unless your relationship is obviously doomed anyone should be happy at 1 year. now 3 years is another story. still not that long but at least if you're living together you have a good grasp on their personality what you like and don't like and which outweighs the other & how it could be if you were married. i know the thought of marriage is fun & exciting but you are 20 years old & that would wear off very fast. i was always very mature for my age and that's why i knew getting married at 20 was probably not a great idea. if you had been together since 10th grade or something that would be somewhat different & i would say you're still young but obviously committed etc. also you know that if you you really love each other and really think you're meant for one another & are planning to be married anyway what's another few years? in theory you're still going to be together forever so it shouldn't be that big of a deal to wait. if you really think you're going to be with this person the rest of your life waiting a while should be fine.

  
  

  my sister got married a year to the day of dating someone she'd also met then at 22 years old. it was completely rushed.. they decided it and had the wedding within 3 months. it told her it was ridiculous and to wait but she thought she was madly in love as well. she really regretted it after 2 months & now at 8 months later i pretty much see them quickly heading for divorce [which i predicted as soon as the idea came up].

  
  

  my fiance and i are 23 & 25. we've been dating seriously for 2 years. [we've known each other & been friends for 9 years dated in middle & hs] we also have a daughter together. we could've done the rushing thing just because i got pregnant but that is imo very stupid & i have many friends that did that and wished they didn't and their relationships are rocky at best. we know we're getting married and are in no hurry. we're having around a 2 year engagement which i love!! & we'll have been together almost 5 straight years at that point [more if you count when we previously dated].

  
  

  as for your mom not liking him she might have wiser eyes than you & be objective & can see things that wouldn't work down the road that you might not mind or be aware of now. i don't know him & there are some things that are annoying in everyone.. so it might be something that's okay but it also might not and might be a quality you don't want in a husband. if you're discussing marriage to this person with her she's probably more very afraid you'll make a serious mistake. i know ppl don't like to hear how young they are.. they might not feel it.. but it is young. if you had been with him a few more years and talked marriage then she would have reason to take the relationship seriously. take your time. if you're supposed to be with him then you will be. if not you have plenty of time to party & live up your early 20's and find someone better for you. hth.. good luck! 

  
  

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