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When to send 'thank you for attending' notes if no gift yet?

megandjaymegandjay member
1000 Comments
in Massachusetts-Boston
We sent thank you notes to the people who attended our wedding and got gifts- 2 days after the wedding. We waited on the others that attended to see if they would send gifts after (so we could thank for both), and have had about 10 of those since the wedding. It has been 3 weeks since the wedding. I know that most people think they have 1 year to send a gift, but I don't want to not send thank you for attending in a timely manner. Not that I expect a gift from everyone, I just don't want to presume they won't send one either.

How much longer should I wait to send 'thank you for attending' cards for people from whom we did not yet get a gift?
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Re: When to send 'thank you for attending' notes if no gift yet?

  • october010brideoctober010bride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was always told, the reception was a thank you and that there's no need to send a ty card for just attending. It can seem redundant and a bit of a slap in the face.

    Just my opinion though.
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  • Karen's MOHKaren's MOH member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would probably give it 4-6 and then send it. I don't consider it a slap in the face, although I can see how some would see it that way. It would be weirder to get a thanks for coming card 3 months out, I would think.
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  • jkeprosjkepros member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would send it with the rest of the thank yous, and if you get a gift later, send a second thank you.  I don't think it's a slap in the face, and I've heard of people who's gift was lost in the mail or whatever & didn't know that the B&G didn't get it.
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  • bostonbride214bostonbride214 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we sent ours along with our gift TY notes ---then sent a second TY note for the gift when we got it, yes some got 2 TY notes -- we did have two gifts "lost in the mail" from those that got the "TY for sharing in our special day" note

    personally, we didn't expect gifts from the notes that we sent and wanted to thank everyone for being there, especially those that traveled from OOT -- and I don't think it is a slap in the face at all --- our guests so appreciated getting the photo TY card that they called to thank us :)
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  • october010brideoctober010bride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think slap in the face was the wrong phrase.

    My aunt told me that, "if you send people a ty, who did not give a gift, they'll feel guilty when they receive a ty card that says thank you for coming". 

    Obviously that is only one person opinion. 

    I'd send them along with the others. If they send you a gift after the fact then you can just send another thank you card.  
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  • Galaxy8227Galaxy8227
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree, I would just send them now.  I think they would feel strange getting a "thanks for attending" card a few months from now. 
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  • megandjaymegandjay member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ok, I think I will give it one more week, and send them just after labor day- in case people are away on vacation. That is about 5 weeks after the wedding, so it shouldn't be too long after.

    Thanks!
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