Stressed over Small and Intimate or Grand Affair...What to do?
Good Afternoon Ladies!
I need some suggestions. I thought that planning this wedding would be easy for me because that is what I do. I've had an Event Planning firm for 4 years, so this is my lane. But for some reason when its your money...you start to freak out! LOL.
So FI didn't want a wedding at all. They don't have weddings on his side of the family. His parents went to the courthouse on lunch break (I can't imagine such a thing). So, he of course was thinking that spending money on a 5 hour affair....is just ridiculous. Well, when it comes to my family, everybody has weddings and everybody is invitied. Literally. When my parents got married there were 500 guests (CRAZY!). Anywho, so we have compromised and he of course has agreed to whatever I want, thats what we'll do.
However, I of course have had this "vision", yet now I'm starting to think of everything else I could do with the money to bring this "vision" to pass. We have 2 children (both under 5) and even though they aren't about to go to college, it could be invested for something else. We already have a house, but we do have some upgrades that I want to do (HW floors....that carpet just can't stay clean w/ little ones).
I suggested that we do a Destination. He said no because his parents can't be there. (They can....they probably just wouldn't because they act like they are ancient). I said well how about something small. He said no because we'll have to not include too many people. I did a preliminary guest list just for me and I was at 140 people. This is what got me thinking.....ugh what do I do?
I have never wanted to go to the courthouse. For me its always been marriage is a covenant b/w husband, wife, and God and it needs to be in God's house. Just my own opinion on that. So what do I do? I just don't want to think later down the line the shoulda coulda woulda's in either direction.
Sorry for the length 
180 Made the cut!
129 Ready to drop it like its HOT!
7 Found something else to do
44 Are just plain RUDE!
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
November 2012 - October Siggy Challenge
Re: Stressed over Small and Intimate or Grand Affair...What to do?
Take a deep breath! You have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. First, have you and FI decided on a budget? With two kiddos and a house you will probably have to be extra budget-conscious. Once you do that, weigh the cost of how many guests you invite. Can you afford over over 200 guests? What are the prices on some of the venues in your area? If you do not want to have the wedding at the courthouse, that is completely understandable and OK. If he must have his parents there, then the destination wedding is out too. Also, Be careful about FI saying whatever you want is cool. Some of the other ladies on here might agree with me that once you get in the swing of planning and money is flying out of the account and appointments with vendors are going down he might change his tune! I would sit down with FI and have a candid discussion about your must-haves. his must-haves, budget and guest list. That will help out tremendously.
some people say "yall are stupid and just go JP but i refuse.. I am my parents only daughter. On his side, i am also the only daughter (lol) so we will have a wedding. I want to be a princess for the day and this is both of our first marriage. the 2 of you should sit down, think about what you want, and make it happen. as far as money is concerned, sometimes you will be very suprised at how much help and love yall will get. we got a check from my uncle today for 1,000 and i cried.
Just pray and talk about it all.
GOOD LUCK AND HUGS!!
My Planning Bio
Facility rentals on a Saturday evening can range anywhere from $2K to $5K here in Atlanta. What I had thought about doing is taking the reception to a hotel, since most don't charge for ballroom rental. This would also help so I could have a kiddie suite for the children in the wedding party to keep an adult reception.
He has only said his must haves are ice sculptures and an open bar. I did tell him that open bar may be an issue depending on the guest list and budget.
Thanks a bunch!
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Good luck!
@Tiffany - right! Actually he doesn't want anything at all BUT because it is important to me, he'd rather have big than small. And you're right, it can be done....
@Baesmom - that's my thing too. I'm my parents only child, let alone only daughter. My father passed a month ago unexpectedly and I remember a few months ago we were talking and I was telling him that I didn't know how I would have the wedding I've dreamed of. He said, don't worry, your mother and I had it and you will too. Well sadly enough, he won't be able to be there (except in Spirit), but I kind of really want to do this more so because I know he would have loved to walk me down the aisle. I am a Daddy's Girl to the tee, so my BFF (who is my daughter's Godfather and my play bro) is walking me down the aisle. On top of that, my mom told me yesterday that regardless of what we decide to do, she wants to see her daughter get married.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Have you checked out the budget wedding board. Those ladies are geniuses when it comes to saving money. If you don't mind being VERY creative I think you can have it all.
Baby Gender Predictor
Wedding Bio
The Brown's Planning Bio updated 7/5/11
[QUOTE]@Tiffany - right! Actually he doesn't want anything at all BUT because it is important to me, he'd rather have big than small. And you're right, it can be done.... @Baesmom - that's my thing too. I'm my parents only child, let alone only daughter. My father passed a month ago unexpectedly and I remember a few months ago we were talking and I was telling him that I didn't know how I would have the wedding I've dreamed of. He said, don't worry, your mother and I had it and you will too. Well sadly enough, he won't be able to be there (except in Spirit), but I kind of really want to do this more so because I know he would have loved to walk me down the aisle. I am a Daddy's Girl to the tee, so my BFF (who is my daughter's Godfather and my play bro) is walking me down the aisle. On top of that, my mom told me yesterday that regardless of what we decide to do, she wants to see her daughter get married.
Posted by MrsSmith2Be02[/QUOTE]
we dont plan on ours going over 20k either.. its very easy to keep it under that.. there are some things that i have decided to make diy to cut costs. you also should write down a list of WE MUST HAVE THIS AT THE WEDDING and IF WE CAN AFFORD I WOULD LIKE TO DO THIS.
it helps keep things in line. and you really really need to think about what goes under what list.
I hope it all works out for you.
I had plan to DIY a lot of things. My aunt does floral arrangements and luckily I'm not that big on flowers, I'd rather have more candles and some florals.
I have a really big family and am big on relationships, so I keep in touch with everybody. My FI on the other hand doesn't communicate much with his family and only has a few friends who are all in the wedding party except for maybe a few co-workers of his that he's close to. Other than that, I fill up the guest list.
I'll go back and check out the budget board and the DIY board too. I saw some things but I feel like i'm so far away that I have time to cool it for a second. Not too long, but a little.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
I can imagine that planning weddings everyday REALLY makes you want to have a grand affair even more. You can still have a mini grand affair just with less people there, I'm sure you get good discounts since you are a planner. You can still get married in a church, at a small chapel, or by a minister anywhere (outside a church) because God is where two people are gathered in His name (I used to be the same way though and HAD to have a church wedding, now I'm not but a Christian minister is marrying us). I think if you have 140 guests by yourself (wow) you might want to make it super small because the smaller it is, the less people will be mad that they can' t come when you tell them, oh I'm only inviting 25 people they can get over it. Now if you invite 100, and cut 40, those 40 will think why aren't they one of the closest 100 people to you which is kind of worse LOL. But I guess if FI says courthouse or grand affair, then it seems you have to go big?
I would just be thinking are you going to pay for a grand affair and then look at that raggedy carpet for how many more years? Lol. But you don't want to spend years thinking of the wedding you never had either. $15K for 200 guests is seriously not bad though and I'm sure you can work it out. That is not even near possible in Miami unless I served big macs, had no flowers, no bar, had my momma take photo's, and itunes on a radio instead of a DJ and that would be no grand affair at all.