Sharing wedding day with parent's 39th Anniversary--Any ideas to honor them

Re: Sharing wedding day with parent's 39th Anniversary--Any ideas to honor them

• mob112710

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  IMO the trickiest part of this scenario is making sure that your FI's parents don't feel slighted and quite frankly, I'm not sure there's any way to prevent it in this situation. I'm sure that most all of your family and friends already know the reason that you picked Aug 13th and for me, that's the greatest honor that you can give your parents (your desire to emulate the success of their marriage). Perhaps your officiant could mention something along these lines during the homily/sermon, i.e. aspire to the example set by her parents celebrating their 39th anniversary today.  Have your FI's parents been married long? If so you will probably want to include them here as well. If you wanted to do something at the reception, perhaps there could be a special dance dedicated to them later in the evening, well after all of the other "special" dances. Maybe play their "First Dance" song for them. Then have you and FI join them and FI's parents join, then all married couples. As I said at the beginning the trick is not to make your FI's parents feel left out.

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• ehathewa

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  Having an anniversary dance is pretty common.  Usually they ask people to stay dancing if you've been married more than 5 years... more than 10 years... etc, until the couple married the longest is still dancing.  You could do this but have it narrowed down to if you were married in Ocotber... and then if today is your anniversary, then your parents would still be dancing. 

  

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• trix1223 member

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  Nice idea ehathewa.  I like tweaking the anniversary dance.  That would be very cute.  And MOB is right.  I would hope that your FILs wouldn't get silly about you recognizing your parents on their anniversary, but you never know.
  
  In our family, DH and me, our son, and our DD all have anniversaries coming up this week~yup,  July 9, July 11, and July 15.  I told our youngest DD that when the time comes that she's getting married, she'll have to tell her FI that the wedding has to be July 13 or it's a deal breaker. 
  
  Anyhoodle, the point of the above paragraph, other than AW-ing our family is that our kids didn't do anything to specifically recognize our anniversary, and we were just fine with that.  It was their wedding, and we wouldn't have wanted to detract from that.
  
  I'd say the anniversary dance is lovely, and then I'd suggest a private moment where you give them a handwritten letter telling them how happy you are to be sharing an anniversary because they've modeled a successful marriage for you and your FI.
  
  You're very sweet.  Your parents are lucky.

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  I love ehathewa's idea. That would be a lovely surprise for your parents.
  
  

                     

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• tldh member

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  I've been to weddings where marriages took place on the grandparent's anniversaries.  In each case, it was announced, "Tonight is Jennifer's grandma and grandpa Smith's 61st wedding anniversary so she and Jake invite them to take the floor for a special dance." The bride then had a small bouquet that she handed to gandma.
  

  
  AKA GoodLuckBear14

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• sarah42nd member

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

   I like the dance idea. Maybe you could put some pictures of your parents in a few fames and sit them on  a table by the guest book. Maybe some of there wedding .

  

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• tldh member

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_sharing-wedding-day-parents-39th-anniversary-ideas-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:49a2c37a-03cf-4539-98bc-77e1cba5963dPost:e28b5a48-e82f-4d20-bbca-3127eb5a119d">Re: Sharing wedding day with parent's 39th Anniversary--Any ideas to honor them</a>:
  [QUOTE] I like the dance idea. Maybe you could put some pictures of your parents in a few fames and sit them on  a table by the guest book. Maybe some of there wedding .
  Posted by sarah42nd[/QUOTE]
  
  Like the idea but I'd also put FI's parent's wedding photos out also.  You can note the anniversary dates with the photos, or if there are any that were saved, frame the invitations and place next to the photos.

  
  AKA GoodLuckBear14

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• ipen44

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks for all of your ideas.  I guess I should have mentioned that there is no dancing at the wedding : )  One of those odd evangelical Christian things.  His parents have also been married for many years.  He is a little shy about honoring their marriage as his biological father (married to his mother until he was 4) may come.  He has a very strained relationship with him (basically, they do not speak even when they see each other each decade).  He even refused to ask his step father to be his best man because of how is biological father may feel.  HMMMMMM--maybe we can have an anniversay something for all the anniversaries--just what can replace a dance?

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