My fiance and i recently decided on our wedding party.
I will have three bridesmaids: my sister, sister-in-law, and one of my dearest cousins. My fiance decided to have is two brother and my brother stand with him. The problem is that my fiance has a younger sister who is only eight, and she's a little bummed about not being the wedding party, especially because the rest of her (much older) siblings are.
Does anyone have any suggestions in how to get her involved? I don't really want a jr. bridesmaid and we already have a flower girl. Are there any other jobs/little tasks or other ideas on how to keep her from feeling left out?
Thanks!
Re: How to Include his 8-year old Sister...?
Planning/Married Biology
Also, please remember that giving someone a "job" is really not honoring them. Being a guest is an honor in itself.
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I might talk to my FI about her being a flower girl. He was the one that thought she was too old, but she may be able to help the younger girl down the aisle...
Escorting the younger flower girl is a good idea. Just call them both Flower Girls or Attendants. A person is only "too old" to be a flower girl or a ring bearer when they say, "I'm too old for that." Some people have had adult flower girls (even men as "flower girls"). http://offbeatbride.com/2008/08/dana-jay-bein#referrer
Planning/Married Biology
She's still my little sister, and since our big sister is my MOH there was no way in hell that I wouldn't include her. She's going to be my "jr" bm, really just a bm but I'm letting her stand out.
It is technically "my" day to shine, but Kenzie is 12- she understands how important this is to Chris and I but doesn't REALLY understand that it's not "her" day, you know? My (2) adult BMs will be in dark gray dresses and Kenzie will be wearing a bright orange dress. (our colors are gray and orange and the dresses look great together) I have 2 adult BMs and Chris has 2 GMs, so Kenzie gets to walk by herself. There's in fact so many things that help her stand out that I'm not worried in the least that she'll have an "off" day, and it in no way detracts from the fact that Chris and I will be married at the end of the day, and no one can really compete with the chick in the big white dress! LMAO
I say loosen up and let the little girl join you. It won't take away from you/ your day, but she'll remember it, and you won't feel like an as$ later when you look at pics and all of the siblings are there, except for one.
Planned Executed
I have this same problem! I have an 18 year old brother and an 8 year old brother. The 18 year old is walking me down the aisle (Dad's not in the picture), and I don't want the 8 year old to be left out.
I found a nice Irish wedding blessing that I would like to have read during the ceremony. The words are simple and the blessing is about love, so I thought it would be cute for my little brother to read it. I told him what I wanted him to do, and I showed him the blessing and had him read it to me to see if he could get all of the words. He did a great job, and when he was finished, I said "You did great! So would you like to read this at my wedding?" And he immediately said "No." I was shocked! (lol) I'm hoping maybe he'll change his mind before the wedding, but maybe he won't.
You should ask your fiance's little sister if she would like to do a reading. If she says no, then maybe she can hand out the programs as the guests arrive? Or, maybe she would be better off just helping with the planning, like stuffing invitation envelopes or helping make the favors.
Just remember, she is only 8 and although she is excited now, she might get intimidated on the big day if she has to be in the spotlight for something (if she's anything like my 8 year old brother).
Let her decide what she wants to do. It may be nothing.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
BTW- I was all for letting her be a flower girl. My fiance, on the other hand, isn't. He thinks that she'll act up. This is why I'm looking for other ways for her to be involved.
Thanks for you help, everyone!
I kind of like the idea of her being a reader, then. It's definitely an important and prominent job, but also a short one. You could find a simple reading, and one that could easily be cut from the ceremony in case it's a no-go on the day of.
But your FI would likely know better than anyone how well she's going to handle it. This may be something that he needs to talk to his sister about directly, without Mom involved.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
Why couldn't your FI place a call and talk to his little sister and see how she's doing and then throw in "So I hear that you want to be part of our wedding" and if she says yes then he can ask her what she would like to do? She's 8 I am pretty she has the ability to voice what she wants. Then you both can make that decision if its going to be a fit or not. (Due to the unexplained behavior)
Good luck!
I ran the idea of her being a jr. bridesmaid by my FI and he's not down for it. Oh well.
Hopefully with his help and his mom's help, and some imput from his little sister this will all be resolved soon!