Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Massachusetts-Boston
touchie subject.
Invitation wording. (background- my parents are divorced, don't really speak to eachother/get along and my dad got remarried about 2 months ago and he's paying for like 80% of our wedding, my mom kept my dad's last name when they got divorced)
There's problems with all the wording I've seen-
1) Mr & Mrs X and Mrs X invite you (blah blah you get it) - my mom FREAKED out when I said this because my dad's new wife isn't one of my parents.
2) Mr. X and Mrs. X invite you - My dad is all about including his new wife in everything, down to email conversations between me and him she's CCed on and this will upset him (and he's paying for the wedding)
3) Together with their parents - This option I might go with but then I need to have the conversation with the FI parents that we're not leaving them out its just my parents can't get along and I was trying to leave the disfuctionalness of my family out of the wedding.
UGH! what has other people done? Is there an option I haven't looked at?
There's problems with all the wording I've seen-
1) Mr & Mrs X and Mrs X invite you (blah blah you get it) - my mom FREAKED out when I said this because my dad's new wife isn't one of my parents.
2) Mr. X and Mrs. X invite you - My dad is all about including his new wife in everything, down to email conversations between me and him she's CCed on and this will upset him (and he's paying for the wedding)
3) Together with their parents - This option I might go with but then I need to have the conversation with the FI parents that we're not leaving them out its just my parents can't get along and I was trying to leave the disfuctionalness of my family out of the wedding.
UGH! what has other people done? Is there an option I haven't looked at?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: touchie subject.
PS--My husband's parents are ugly-divorced, too, and we went through a lot of crap in wedding planning around it. Let me know if you ever have any other questions. I think we saw it all :-) GL!
I think option # 3 is the way to go. 100%
I think Option C only applies if you and FI are the hosts. It seems like your dad and mom are the true hosts.
[QUOTE]#3 - And how long do you think your inlaws will remain unaware of your family's drama? Family is family - they don't stop being crazy for weddings - if anything, they become more so.
Posted by amethystgirl03[/QUOTE]
Word.
My experience was that being honest with EVERYONE made a huge difference. When DH and I got engaged, his parents were at a point that they had only communicated via attorneys for the last EIGHT years! Now, things are much better. DH never got involved in talking with his rents about this stuff---and I'm much more direct. We made sure that each parent (and stepparent) knew that A) family was important to us, B) We were trying to be sensitive to everyone, and C) It would be a give and take on their part, too.
In the long run, it turned out that they all needed to be challenged in order to shine. I know it doesn't happen that way for a lot of families-- I read about Knotties with monster parents or inlaws all the time. But have some faith that they will appreciate your attempts to make them comfortable and will reward you with good behavior. I never thought I would see DH's dad give his mom a hug and a congrats on our big day, or his stepmom helping his mom with her corsage. But it happened. :-)
I just don't like opening the drama can of worms with my FILs
[QUOTE]I like "Mr. Dad and Ms. Mom request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter to FI, son of..." I think Option C only applies if you and FI are the hosts. It seems like your dad and mom are the true hosts.
Posted by foolforfood[/QUOTE]
I kind of agree with this. If you dad is paying for the wedding, he usually gets his name on the invite. Of course, if he's okay with #3, then go for it!
Black History Month
TTC since Feb 2012
Diagnosed with PCOS and anovulation
2 round clomid 1 round femara--no response
1st round injectables/IUI 1/31---BFP!
On this subject:
Whose name goes at the top of the invitation?
Answer: Hosts are listed, not financiers. Hosts are the people who make sure the guests are cared for. Financiers pay for some of the wedding. Bluntly, it’s no one’s business who paid for what and honestly, no one really cares.
However, if by mutual agreement you choose to deviate, that’s absolutely fine. Just remember it’s usually not worth it, since an invitation is a piece of paper for a single day. You have to be family with these people for the rest of your life.
Both sets of parents are divorced. Mine are remarried and my step-Dad raised me, but now my Mom is married to another guy and...
Answer: I have a migraine and I stopped listening after "but". Use "Together with their parents..." and save everyone the headache. Your invitation will look like a law firm letterhead otherwise.
.I'm grateful for the posts regarding hosts vs. financiers...that is really helpful. I am not sure if this applies to you at all, but here's one perspective that I had never considered.... I'm 31, which today is not very old to be getting married, but for my parents, it is. Even though they are helping significantly, they think that since I'm above 30, I should be host and have my name attached to everything (with FI of course) and go with your #3. Perhaps you can propose this stance to your dad, etc. to help with #3. If it doesn't help, sorry.
Good luck!
My parents would be peeved if their names were not on it (they are divorced too). But they are both contributing, so I am using both names, which is kind of funny because they still have the same last name! haha, so our will be something like Mr. G Smith and Ms J. Smith invite you...